Greece – Before and After The Referendum

There is great concern in Greece about the Referendum on whether to stay in the Eurozone or exit.

I actually know exactly what will happen and how things will change. Nothing much will happen and nothing much will change.

If the majority votes “Yes,” expect to see this:

 

If the majority votes “No,” expect to see this:

 

I’ll talk at you next week…

lester_aldrich_alone_featuredLester Aldrich – Those Damn Kids

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America Needs Donald Trump To Become President

Good afternoon from Michigan.

I’m 88-years-old and really falling apart. I may not even make to the 2016 Election (especially with Those Damn Kids running around on my grass, dropping their crappy chocolate ice cream in Mrs. Aldrich’s flowers and peeing all over my car just after I had it washed – this just all in the last hour!).

They know my hands shake too bad to load my gun with bullets – but one day I’ll get one in the chamber and there will be one less damn kid to ruin my life.

But I digress…

This isn’t about me or my colostomy bag, this is about the future of America and why we need Donald Trump to become President of the United States.

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Lester Aldrich, Those Damn Kids, Donald Trump, POTUS 2016, Hillary Clinton, Jeb BushElections are bullshit.

No one votes anymore.

We had a local election in Lansing a couple of months ago and less than 2% percent voted. There were more volunteers at the polling stations than there were voters.

Donald Trump will change that.

He will be so horrible as a President that by 2020, Americans will do anything to reclaim their God given right to change things through the voting booth.

But if we have another stale boring Presidential race and someone like Jeb Bush or Hillary Clinton becomes President, by 2020 no one will ever want to vote again.

I know I previously said Hillary Clinton will crush anyone who opposes her – and this is still true.

But maybe a village idiot like Donald Trump being elected President would really show us all how ridiculous our democracy has become.

So please, vote for Donald Trump for President – he’s the worst choice in the history of our country and the one we really need right now.

He actually said in his announcement that he would save America if he were elected – that’s one thing he was absolutely right about.

Here’s his Presidential Announcement (a must watch):

I’ll talk at you later…

AARP, Alf Landon, Arbys, Ari Emanuel, Ben Silverman, cannibalism, CNN, east lansing, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, korean war, lester aldrich, manka bros., Michigan, octogenarian, those damn kids, World's largest Media Company, Paul Harvey, Art LInklletter, Lawrence Welk, Garrison Keillor, Andy Rooney, Douglas MacarthurLester Aldrich – Those Damn Kids

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Lester Aldrich, Those Damn Kids, Donald Trump, POTUS 2016, Hillary Clinton, Jeb Bush

 

 

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Hillary Clinton Will Crush Anyone Who Opposes Her

Good afternoon.

First, I must admit, I was wrong last week when I said “Hillary Is Toast.” For some reason, I forgot all about the Clinton political machine (how could anyone forget that?).

There is no doubt – Hillary Clinton will win the Presidential election in 2016 and be our country’s first female President.

Fox News knows this is true and is already working on a new strategy:

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Those Damn Kids, Lester Aldrich, Hillary Clinton, emailgate, Benghazi, 2016 Presidential Election

I’ll talk at you later…

Lester Aldrich – Those Damn KidsManka Bros. Studios

P.S. – People have been writing me to get back to my normal blogging topics – “Those Damn Kids” in my neighborhood and my health issues. I promise I will do that and leave the politics to the experts.

 

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Hillary Clinton Is Toast

Let’s make one thing clear: Hillary Clinton would have been President of the United States.

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Those Damn Kids, Lester Aldrich, Hillary Clinton, Chris Christie, Jeb Bush, Emailgate

But – and I hate to say it – now she will never be President of the United States.

Chris Christie has a better chance of being President and he has ZERO CHANCE.

The American people are going to turn on Hillary just like they turned on Brian Williams and Bill Cosby (not in the same ballpark – he’s a rapist after all!) [lawyer’s note: ‘alleged rapist’].

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Those Damn Kids, Lester Aldrich, Hillary Clinton, Chris Christie, Jeb Bush, Emailgate

It’s a matter of trust and we no longer trust Hillary Clinton, Brian Williams or Bill Cosby (and if I was woman in a room with and he offered me a drink… Jesus H. Christ – he was BILL COSBY – a huge star – most of those woman probably would have had sex with him in the regular way – which is why he is a sick psychopath) [lawyer’s note: ‘alleged sick psychopath’]

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Those Damn Kids, Lester Aldrich, Hillary Clinton, Chris Christie, Jeb Bush, Emailgate, Bill Cosby 1969I don’t know why Hillary decided not to use her State Department email account. Maybe it was just easier on her Blackberry to use one email account for personal and work business and didn’t like switching back and forth.

It doesn’t really matter because now, no matter the reason, we suspect she was hiding something or wanted to be able to delete certain items after she sent them.

This is a shame because the Democrats have nothing now.

Hillary still might be the nominee but Democrats today are a lot less excited about her prospects.

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Those Damn Kids, Lester Aldrich, Hillary Clinton, Chris Christie, Jeb Bush, EmailgateRepublicans will not let this go – much like Benghazi – and Hillary will be brought to her knees with accusations and questions and she’ll never get a chance to campaign effectively.

So – we’re probably going to have President Jeb Bush.

I’d better start stocking up on my pills.

I’ll talk at you later…

AARP, Alf Landon, Arbys, Ari Emanuel, Ben Silverman, cannibalism, CNN, east lansing, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, korean war, lester aldrich, manka bros., Michigan, octogenarian, those damn kids, World's largest Media Company, Paul Harvey, Art LInklletter, Lawrence Welk, Garrison Keillor, Andy Rooney, Douglas MacarthurLester Aldrich – Those Damn KidsManka Bros. Studios

P.S. – Maybe Al Gore will give it another go – but I’d hate to see him lose to two Bush’s. Well, he didn’t actually LOSE the first one – but I digress…

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Those Damn Kids, Lester Aldrich, Hillary Clinton, Chris Christie, Jeb Bush, Emailgate, Al Gore Concession

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Yemen Theme Park Is A Horrible Idea

As an independent contractor at Manka Bros. Studios (which claims to be the World’s Largest Media Company), I am shocked and disgusted at the plan to build a Manka Fun Park in Yemen.

Here is the disturbing announcement:

I have been proud of my years at Manka Bros. and the writing I have accomplished – but this theme park must NOT BE BUILT.

Not only is it a terrible business decision – it is a terrible moral decision.

If the Manka Fun Park Yemen ever opens its gates, I will cut my ties with the company and go work for Disney Blogs.

AARP, Alf Landon, Arbys, Ari Emanuel, Ben Silverman, cannibalism, CNN, east lansing, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, korean war, lester aldrich, manka bros., Michigan, octogenarian, those damn kids, World's largest Media Company, Paul Harvey, Art LInklletter, Lawrence Welk, Garrison Keillor, Andy Rooney, Douglas MacarthurLester Aldrich – Those Damn Kids

 

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The Open Championship Is My Super Bowl!

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Lester Aldrich, Those Damn Kids, The Open Championship, Rory McIlroy, Dick Shepherd, Tom Watson, Tiger Woods, Snotty ScottyThose damn kids on my block always seem to know when and how to junk up my day.

I get up at 5:00 am every morning.

I suck some oatmeal through a straw because my teeth can’t chew anymore.

I do the crossword.

I read the news on the internet because except for the crossword, newspapers are old news.

But this morning and every morning through this weekend I am getting up at 4:00 am to watch my favorite sporting event – The Open Championship.

On these four days, I don’t care if planes are getting shot out of the sky by Russians or if Israel launches a ground invasion into Gaza.

I just want to watch The Open Championship!

Mrs. Aldrich turns on the TV for me. She liquified some strawberries and poured me a nice big glass of vodka.

I was ready for five hours of peace and enjoyment.

But, apparently, those damned mucky kids were also up and running around the the neighborhood drunk from some all night party.

They were vomiting on my lawn, fighting on my lawn, throwing eggs at my house and, in general, making me wish I was living in eastern Ukraine.

There were THUMPS and SCREAMS and there was nothing I could do.

I called the police but in East Lansing, that doesn’t really get anywhere. They don’t come for loud noise… only murder… but not for a while.

I told them that was a real possibility if those damn kids didn’t shut their yaps and go home.

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Lester Aldrich, Those Damn Kids, The Open Championship, Rory McIlroy, Dick Shepherd, Tom Watson, Tiger Woods, Snotty Scotty

I am choosing not to show images of Those Damn Drunken Kids

While I’m dealing with the noise and waiting on the phone, Rory McIllroy is having an incredible round with some incredible shots.

Tom Watson is, once again, playing for us old guys.

And Tiger Woods is in the hunt. (After Round 2 strike the above comment.)

I sent Mrs. Aldrich outside to try to deal with the situation, but she came back quickly to get some water to put out a bag of flaming shit that she could see outside on the doorstep.

That was it!

Snotty Scotty and his drunken terrorists were finally going to meet their maker.

I was going to kill them, finish watching the 1st round of The Open Championship and then call the police to tell them there has been a justified killing.

Just as was going to get my gun, there was a knock at the door.

If this was ding dong ditch ’em, and I open that door and no one is there, the whole neighborhood is going up in flames. I’ll burn it all down.

Standing in the doorway was my old friend Dick Shepherd – looking worse than ever. Dick has 1/4 of a lung, one working eye, half a tongue and various other horrible ailments.

He had stomped out the flaming poop and there was no one to be seen on my lawn. Just some leftover mess that Mrs. Aldrich will clean up later.

“Dick, what the Hell? Where are those damn kids that were out here?”

“I dragged one off your lawn. There are two passed out drunk on the street.”

“But what are you doing here?”

“It’s The Open Championship – I brought a bottle of vodka.”

Good ol’ one eye, half tongue Dick. I could always count on him.

I’ll talk at you next week…

AARP, Alf Landon, Arbys, Ari Emanuel, Ben Silverman, cannibalism, CNN, east lansing, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, korean war, lester aldrich, manka bros., Michigan, octogenarian, those damn kids, World's largest Media Company, Paul Harvey, Art LInklletter, Lawrence Welk, Garrison Keillor, Andy Rooney, Douglas MacarthurLester Aldrich – Those Damn Kids

P.S. – Rory McIlroy is leading after the 1st round at -6.

 

 

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The Terrorist Games of the 22nd Olympiad

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Those Damn Kids, Lester Aldrich, Sochi Olympic Games, Matt Lauer, Vladimir Putin, Pootie Poot, Savannah Guthrie

You know we’re living in a crazy fucked up world when a victory for Russia is that no one gets killed during the Sochi Olympic games.

If terrorists do not strike, I can imagine Vladimir Putin shouting from the Caucasus Mountains: “See, I told you! Now please you to come to Russia for visit. We are safe!”

Yeah, fat chance, Pootie Poot.

The fact is, most people in the world will be very surprised if there isn’t at least one act of violence or terrorism during the games.

I personally believe there will be several acts of violence and probably a couple of countries will leave early because of it.

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Those Damn Kids, Lester Aldrich, Sochi Olympic Games, Matt Lauer, Vladimir Putin, Pootie Poot, Savannah GuthrieWhat’s the point of going there then?

I understand it for the athletes, they been training their entire young lives and this might be their only shot. If you’re a cross-country skier, you roll the dice at that point.

But why do we have to send Matt Lauer and Savannah Guthrie into the shit?

How many morning show hosts are we willing to sacrifice for sport? 15? 20?

Shame on you, NBC.

Send that guy that’s always in the flak jacket in Egypt. He can probably tell you what’s happening in the luge.

There’s no upside for Russia as host of these games. Why would anyone visit a place that needs 40,000 troops to protect you?

A million troops could probably protect South Sudan but you see them trying to host the Academy Awards or even a bowling tournament.

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Those Damn Kids, Lester Aldrich, Sochi Olympic Games, Matt Lauer, Vladimir Putin, Pootie Poot, Savannah Guthrie, Polish ice dancersIt’s such a joke.

Those Olympics venues will look like Sarajaveo’s in a couple of years with grass growing through what used to be a Curling arena or whatever.

I hear they have 40,000 troops guarding the Games.

That has to make one feel secure – 40,000 drunken Russian troops lusting after Polish ice dancers.

The goddamned Polish ice dancers never had a chance.

Oh, well, I’ll be watching.

I love the Olympics.

I’ll talk at you later…

AARP, Alf Landon, Arbys, Ari Emanuel, Ben Silverman, cannibalism, CNN, east lansing, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, korean war, lester aldrich, manka bros., Michigan, octogenarian, those damn kids, World's largest Media Company, Paul Harvey, Art LInklletter, Lawrence Welk, Garrison Keillor, Andy Rooney, Douglas MacarthurLester Aldrich – Those Damn Kids

P.S. – No report on Those Damn Kids this week – it’s too goddamned cold for even those little pissants to come out from their holes.

 

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Christie and McDonnell Nailed All The Seven Deadly Sins

Chris Christie, Lester Aldrich, Those Damn Kids, Bob McDonnell, 7 deadly sins, Warren Buffet, Carl Lewis, Mayor of Hoboken, Mayer of Ft. LeeThis has been a terrible year for two popular Republican Governors… Chris Christie and Bob McDonnell.

Both of their political lives are basically over… “allegedly” (I was told to say by the Manka Bros. lawyers).

There were actually certain people who thought one or both of them could have one day been President!

HA!

At this point, they have a better chance to earn $1 billion from Warren Buffet for picking a perfect NCAA Men’s Basketball Bracket (which is a 1 in a 3.8 trillion chance).

So, let’s run down the 7 DEADLY SINS and see how the great men from Virginia and New Jersey fared:

Chris Christie, Lester Aldrich, Those Damn Kids, Bob McDonnell, 7 deadly sins, Warren Buffet, Carl Lewis, Mayor of Hoboken, Mayer of Ft. LeeChris Christie, Lester Aldrich, Those Damn Kids, Bob McDonnell, 7 deadly sins, Warren Buffet, Carl Lewis, Mayor of Hoboken, Mayer of Ft. LeeSIN #1 – LUST:

This is probably the one that no one in America cares about (at least not from these guys). They both obviously had a lust for power but most think of this one in a sexual context – so let’s just assume they had it and let’s try not to think about it any more.

Chris Christie, Lester Aldrich, Those Damn Kids, Bob McDonnell, 7 deadly sins, Warren Buffet, Carl Lewis, Mayor of Hoboken, Mayer of Ft. LeeSIN #2 – GLUTTONY:

I’m looking at Governor Christie mainly on this one (butter ain’t butter unless it’s deep fried!). Governor McDonnell obviously has a gluttony for wedding dinners but Governor Christie had a gluttony for everyone else’s dinner.

Chris Christie, Lester Aldrich, Those Damn Kids, Bob McDonnell, 7 deadly sins, Warren Buffet, Carl Lewis, Mayor of Hoboken, Mayer of Ft. LeeSIN #3 – GREED:

Governor McDonnell (and wife) – any questions? And Governor Christie’s greed for political endorsements was his undoing – though it’s hard to understand why anyone would be that stupid. As a comparison, Governor Christie easily wins the battle of Greed – like a foot race between Usain Bolt and Betty White.

Chris Christie, Lester Aldrich, Those Damn Kids, Bob McDonnell, 7 deadly sins, Warren Buffet, Carl Lewis, Mayor of Hoboken, Mayer of Ft. LeeChris Christie, Lester Aldrich, Those Damn Kids, Bob McDonnell, 7 deadly sins, Warren Buffet, Carl Lewis, Mayor of Hoboken, Mayer of Ft. LeeSIN #4 – SLOTH:

Governor Christie – any questions? In general both men are guilty because they had no desire to cover their tracks. So lazy. Corruption in the digital age has never seen such sloth. How hard is it to hide the bullshit you are attempting to do?

Chris Christie, Lester Aldrich, Those Damn Kids, Bob McDonnell, 7 deadly sins, Warren Buffet, Carl Lewis, Mayor of Hoboken, Mayer of Ft. LeeSIN #5 – WRATH:

The wrath by Governor Christie on those who wouldn’t endorse him is (allegedly – HA!) certainly wrath – right, Carl Lewis, Mayor of Hoboken and Mayor of Ft. Lee?

Chris Christie, Lester Aldrich, Those Damn Kids, Bob McDonnell, 7 deadly sins, Warren Buffet, Carl Lewis, Mayor of Hoboken, Mayer of Ft. LeeChris Christie, Lester Aldrich, Those Damn Kids, Bob McDonnell, 7 deadly sins, Warren Buffet, Carl Lewis, Mayor of Hoboken, Mayer of Ft. LeeSIN #6 – ENVY:

Both Governors really envy Air Force 1 and would have loved to have been in control of that son of a bitch. Alas, ain’t gonna happen.

Mrs. McDonnell, you really couldn’t wait to demand a Rolex with an inscription? In the words of the whore Julia Roberts from “Pretty Woman” ‘BIG MISTAKE!’

Chris Christie, Lester Aldrich, Those Damn Kids, Bob McDonnell, 7 deadly sins, Warren Buffet, Carl Lewis, Mayor of Hoboken, Mayer of Ft. LeeSIN #7 – PRIDE:

Governor Christie had to boast about being the guy who put the cones down during #Bridgegate. If only that’s all you did. If you kept the bridge open, you may have been President of the United States. And if Bob McDonnell would have…

Nah – Bob McDonnell wouldn’t have been gum sweeper at a Presidential theme park no matter what he did – so I suppose he should have tried to get all the shit he could. He and his wife were just really sloppy.

The real tragedy is Chris Christie – his dreams are dead.

AARP, Alf Landon, Arbys, Ari Emanuel, Ben Silverman, cannibalism, CNN, east lansing, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, korean war, lester aldrich, manka bros., Michigan, octogenarian, those damn kids, World's largest Media Company, Paul Harvey, Art LInklletter, Lawrence Welk, Garrison Keillor, Andy Rooney, Douglas MacarthurLester Aldrich – Those Damn Kids

 

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Chris Christie Needs To Give Up

Chris Christie, Those Damn Kids, Lester Aldrich, BridgegateIf I ever saw man who was never going to be President of the United States it is Chris Christie.

He just has no chance and should not take one more dollar from a person who wants to donate to his Presidential campaign.

If he had any dignity, he would realize that it’s all over, apologize and figure out what he’s going to do for the rest of his life.

Because he’s not going to be President – and will most likely not hold any elected office ever again.

That’s just the truth.

He reminds me of Those Damn Kids on my block who think they just do whatever they want – walk on my lawn, put burning bags of shit on my porch, toilet paper in my trees – and expect to get away with it.

He has about as much control over his staff as he does with his weight – zero.

Which is also the percentage chance he has to be President.

I’ll talk at you next week…

AARP, Alf Landon, Arbys, Ari Emanuel, Ben Silverman, cannibalism, CNN, east lansing, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, korean war, lester aldrich, manka bros., Michigan, octogenarian, those damn kids, World's largest Media Company, Paul Harvey, Art LInklletter, Lawrence Welk, Garrison Keillor, Andy Rooney, Douglas MacarthurLester Aldrich – Those Damn Kids

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I Think My Medicine Is Making Me Sicker

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Namenda, Those Damn Kids, DementiaDr. Quack put me on a new pill the other day and it’s fucking up my life.

I’ve been crying like a baby girl and writing sentimental hogwash about the horrors of war.

I’ve been peeing my pants (more than normal) and sweating more than a Boston marathon bomber hiding in a boat in the backyard.

And worse of all, I’ve had no energy to scream at THOSE DAMN KIDS!

School started this week and my yard is already showing the effects. Those little pissants love to use my yard as a sidewalk and my shrubs as a trash bin. Walk in the street, ya little Hitler youths!

Now my hands are trembling.

Fuck this new pill. I am officially disobeying Dr. Quack.

I’ll talk at you next week (if I live that long).

AARP, Alf Landon, Arbys, Ari Emanuel, Ben Silverman, cannibalism, CNN, east lansing, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, korean war, lester aldrich, manka bros., Michigan, octogenarian, those damn kids, World's largest Media Company, Paul Harvey, Art LInklletter, Lawrence Welk, Garrison Keillor, Andy Rooney, Douglas MacarthurLester Aldrich – Those Damn Kids

 

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