Mitt Romney: It’s Time To Play The Mormon Card

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Manka Bros. Studios, The World's Largest Media Company, Newt Gingrich, Callista Gingrich, Jackie Battley, Marianne Ginther, Jeff Weiner, Ben Silverman, Rob Johnson, Sonny Perdue, Rick Tyler, Hermain Cain, Mitt Romney, Rick Perry, Michele Bachman, Rick Santorum, Ron Paul, Joseph Smith, Thomas S. Monson, Elder Cook, Elder Nelson, Elder Holland, Elder Perry, Elder Bednar, George Romney, Ann Romney, Brigham Young, Book of Mormon, Trey Parker, Matt Stone

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Manka Bros. Studios, The World's Largest Media Company, Newt Gingrich, Callista Gingrich, Jackie Battley, Marianne Ginther, Jeff Weiner, Ben Silverman, Rob Johnson, Sonny Perdue, Rick Tyler, Hermain Cain, Mitt Romney, Rick Perry, Michele Bachman, Rick Santorum, Ron Paul, Joseph Smith, Thomas S. Monson, Elder Cook, Elder Nelson, Elder Holland, Elder Perry, Elder Bednar, George Romney, Ann Romney, Brigham YoungGood morning.

Normally I don’t use this space to write about politics (except when Newt Gingrich was a front runner and I felt if he became President America would be seriously f-cked), but now that it’s a two man race (Obama vs. Romney), I thought I would offer Mr. Romney some strategic advice to seriously put him over the top.

Mitt, it’s time to play the Mormon card.

As many of you know, Mitt Romney is a Mormon but you never hear him talk about it on the campaign trail. What the fuck is up with that?

He doesn’t talk about taxes. Though if it’s true and he has paid at least 13% every year for the past 10 years, then he is truly a dumbass. If you are very wealthy in this country, and I count myself as one, you would have to be a total moron to pay 13% or more. I paid a little less than 2% last year, I think (off the record).

It’s disturbing all the things he can’t talk about. Dude is hiding a whole bunch of shit while talking on the stump about more transparency in government.

But back to religion. What Republican presidential candidate has ever gone through the process without getting into the whole Jesus thing?

And it’s not even mentioned in his Bio on his own Presidential Campaign website.

Why?

Is he embarrassed for some reason?

Don’t the Tea Party freaks and people on the Right want their candidate to talk openly about religion and their love of God?

It seems like a real missed opportunity on Mr. Romney’s part.

I have a very simple solution for him… just show the world this video.

It’s a song called “I Believe” from the Broadway smash hit “The Book of Mormon”.

This show is so huge right now that it’s just plain stupid for Mitt not to leverage it to his advantage.

 

 

If enough people watch this video it could really put Mitt and the Mormon church in the White House and go a long way toward cutting into that huge Protestant/Catholic market share advantage.

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Manka Bros. Studios, The World's Largest Media Company, Newt Gingrich, Callista Gingrich, Jackie Battley, Marianne Ginther, Jeff Weiner, Ben Silverman, Rob Johnson, Sonny Perdue, Rick Tyler, Hermain Cain, Mitt Romney, Rick Perry, Michele Bachman, Rick Santorum, Ron Paul, Joseph Smith, Thomas S. Monson, Elder Cook, Elder Nelson, Elder Holland, Elder Perry, Elder Bednar, George Romney, Ann Romney, Brigham YoungSure, Mormonism isn’t just about Broadway shows, no coffee and helping the poor (I threw that last one in – maybe it’s true), it’s also about the World’s Tallest Polished Granite Shaft (in Vermont – at Joseph Smith’s birth place).

It’s also about… other things, I would imagine (I’m Jewish – so I’m not that versed on what goes on in the Mormon church – though Salt Lake City is very clean – and I’ve heard that choir is pretty good).

Most of my Hollywood liberal friends (except Rupert but he’s a serial phone tapper so who cares who he votes for) will be supporting President Obama (and, yes, I attended Jeffrey Katzenberg’s fund raiser last spring).

I, for one, have not made up my mind – but if Mitt Romney had the courage to stand up at the Republican convention and say:  “I am a Mormon – and this is what I believe!” – it just might get me to vote for him (unless he goes all batshit Mormon and his eyes start to bug out).

It’s worth a shot, right? It’s either that or go down as a elitist prick who is not concerned about any of the crappy shit that is going on in the world.

Don’t hide from your religion, Mitt.

Use it to your advantage.

And I love that you’re stashing money in hidden bank accounts all around the world… ME, TOO!

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Newt Gingrich? America Is Seriously F-cked

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Manka Bros. Studios, The World's Largest Media Company, Newt Gingrich, Callista Gingrich, Jackie Battley, Marianne Ginther, Jeff Weiner, Ben Silverman, Rob Johnson, Sonny Perdue, Rick Tyler, Hermain Cain, Mitt Romney, Rick Perry, Michele Bachman, Rick Santorum, Ron Paul

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Manka Bros. Studios, The World's Largest Media Company, Newt Gingrich, Callista Gingrich, Jackie Battley, Marianne Ginther, Jeff Weiner, Ben Silverman, Rob Johnson, Sonny Perdue, Rick Tyler, Hermain Cain, Mitt Romney, Rick Perry, Michele Bachman, Rick Santorum, Ron PaulGood afternoon.

So the current polls have something called “Newt Gingrich” leading the Republican field by over 10 percentage points.

To quote my daughter:  “This is some seriously fucked up shit.”

First of all, there needs to be a Constitutional Amendment drawn up immediately that says “No one named Newt Gingrich shall ever be allowed to become President of the United States.”

It’s not even his meandering politics or sloppy appearance (a man can believe and eat whatever he wants in this country as long as you keep going to my movies and watching my TV networks).

He’s just a nothing – basically, the biggest “so what?” in the history of the country.

No platitudes here – all true.

I seriously believe this guy would be just as excited to have a part as a mailman on “Two Broke Girls” as he would to be President of the United States.

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Manka Bros. Studios, The World's Largest Media Company, Newt Gingrich, Callista Gingrich, Jackie Battley, Marianne Ginther, Jeff Weiner, Ben Silverman, Rob Johnson, Sonny Perdue, Rick Tyler, Hermain Cain, Mitt Romney, Rick Perry, Michele Bachman, Rick Santorum, Ron PaulAny attention is good for someone like Newt Gingrich who just likes to pontificate on any subject – regardless if he has knowledge or not.  He doesn’t care about where he is or how important the matter may be – he just likes to talk – in a really boring way and without any sense of consequence.

Imagine President Newt Gingrich and the things he may say:

President Newt Gingrich:  “You want to know where I keep the nuclear codes?  It’s actually a pretty interesting story, Old Farmer at a random Denny’s – I keep them in the vegetable drawer of my private refrigerator – it’s the one drawer that didn’t have any food in it.  Bill Clinton used to keep the codes in his pants – ha ha – get it?  Because he cheated on his wife!  I stopped doing that one wife ago!”

President Newt Gringrich:  “I told Vladimir Putin I would back him up in an illegal election if he would open up Russian theatrical distribution for my documentary Nine Days That Changed The World.”

President Newt Gingrich:  “I don’t have time to talk about the budget today, I’m signing copies of my ‘State of the Union Speech’ at a Books A Million in Annapolis.  Sean Hannity’s buying free coffee and donuts for everybody.”

President Newt Gringrich:  You know, I’m the only historian ever elected President.  Which means I know – based on historical fact – who all the great Presidents were like Ronald Reagan and all the shitty Presidents – like Jimmy Carter.”

Etc. etc. etc. – you get the idea.

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Manka Bros. Studios, The World's Largest Media Company, Newt Gingrich, Callista Gingrich, Jackie Battley, Marianne Ginther, Jeff Weiner, Ben Silverman, Rob Johnson, Sonny Perdue, Rick Tyler, Hermain Cain, Mitt Romney, Rick Perry, Michele Bachman, Rick Santorum, Ron PaulI think it was President Lincoln who said it best in the ‘Gettysburg Address’:

‘Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent, a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.  However, should there be at any time in the future a man named Newt Gingrich who decides to run for President – he must not be allowed for the betterment of the world…’

It’s very simple:  No one named Newt Gingrich is allowed to be President of the United States.  

He’s just not allowed.

Period.

If Honest Abe doesn’t like Newt, neither do I…

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