Tag: Rupert Murdoch

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Out Of Prison – Back At Work

Good morning.

As many of you at the studio know (mostly just Senior Management), I have been in a Seychelles maximum security prison for the past two years.

Don’t feel too bad for me, the prison was on the beach and the food was decent (though the king crab was shitty). I was allowed to have my personal chef cook for me after a couple of months because I paid El Presidente a cool eight hundred bucks. The only caveat was my chef – Andres – had to stay with me in prison in a non air conditioned cell next to me.

Seychelles Maximum Security Prison

While Manka Bros. senior management was aware of my imprisonment, most of the rest of the 100,000 global employees were told that I had testicular cancer.

That was not true but I didn’t want to tell the work force (and, especially, the Board of Directors) that I was in jail for tax evasion in my adopted country – The Seychelles.

In my defense, I was not aware taxes had to be paid in The Seychelles. Why, the fuck, would anyone live there unless it was to avoid taxes?!

Anyway, I didn’t have cancer and now I’m back!

So… starting today we’re going to do things A LOT differently.

Here the basic message: THE OLD MOGULS ARE BACK, MOTHERFUCKERS!

Sorry, “new” Hollywood – or whatever anyone under 30 is calling it. Me, Bob Iger, Rupert, Bakish – we’re not going anywhere and we’ll decide what happens in this town. Capisce?

To paraphrase Logan Roy – “WE HAVE YOU BEAT!”

FIRST, THE WGA STRIKE:

Good news, Writers. We are going to settle the strike. I mean, duh, of course we are.

And if I may echo “The Who” – “Meet the new deal… same as the old deal!”

Yep, we’ll settle and you’ll get nothing new or maybe a couple of measly percentage point minimum boosts, and we’ll both figure out how to spin it as a WGA victory. But we know the #Truth – and we know you’ll settle just like it’s 2007.

Sorry. #Truth.

On top of that… we’re going to do things the same way.

We’re putting movies in theaters.

We’re putting TV shows on TV.

We’re making video games and will still sell the majority of them on cartridges.

We’re spending billions on football, baseball, basketball, hockey – because that’s what 60+ year old people want to watch!

So fuck off!

SECOND, AI:

Yeah, we’re keeping that one for ourselves. You’re welcome to use it if it helps the studios but we own this shit and we’ll do with it what we want.

Manka Bros. has been ahead of the A.I. curve for years. You may remember we replaced our CFO David Chang with A.I. about five years ago. This has worked like a charm. I’ve learned that I don’t need a highly-paid human to tell me that our business sucks.

And… I can shoot as many of those machines as I want after hearing bad news and then just plug a new one in once I’ve calmed down. Incredible!

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Herb Allen's Sun Valley Conference 2013, Sun Valley Lodge, Bin Tran, Vin Tran, Lee S Ainslie III, Yousef Al Otaiba, Hans-Holger Albrecht, Paul G Allen, James Anderson, Marc Andreessen, Michael Angelakis, Tim Armstrong, Nikesh Arora, Neil M Ashe, Emilio Azcarraga, Manvinder S Banga, Lionel Barber, Craig R Barrett, Willow Bay, Andreas Bechtolsheim, Marc Benioff, Jeffrey Berg, James Berkus, Michael S Berman, Mark Bertolini, Gary Bettman, Jeff Bewkes, Jeffrey P Bezos, Aneel Bhusri, The Right Honorable Tony Blair, Gregory R Blatt, Anthony H Bloom, Michael R Bloomberg, Steven R Boal, Scott A Bommer, Cory A Booker, Jeffrey H Boyd, Sergey Brin, Glenn Britt, Tom Brokaw, Michael J Brown, Howard G Buffett, Susie Buffett, Warren Buffett, John Burbank, Stephen Burke, Erin Burnett, Ursula Burns, John E Bush, Jeanie Buss, John A Canning Jr., Chase Carey, Wences Casares, Mark Casey, Kenneth Chenault, Peter Chernin, Brian Chesky, Richard Chilton, Chris Christie, Lewis Cime, Adriana Cisneros, Gustavo Cisneros, Vittorio Colao, Timothy Collins, Patrick Collison, Timothy Cook, Anderson Cooper, David Corkins, Delos Cosgrove, Dick Costolo, Cristian Croitoru, Henry Crumpton, Jose Luis Cutrale, Will Danoff, Philippe Dauman, Christopher Davis, Alfonso de Angoitia, John DeGioia, Diego Della Valle, Brian Demain, Andre Desmarais, David DeVoe, Feroz Dewan, William DeWitt, Barry Diller, Daniel Doctoroff, Jonathan Dolgen, John Donahoe, Jack Dorsey, Michael Duke, Mathias Dopfner, David Ebersman, Wesley Edens, Marvin Edwards, Eric Eisner, Michael Eisner, John Elkann, Thomas Evans, Randel Falco, Jose Antonio Fernandez, Michael Ferror, Niall W. A. FitzGerald, Thomas Friedman, Michael Fries, Tommy Frist, Daniel Fulton, Michael Fux, Mala Gaonkar, Whitfield Gardner, William Gates, Melinda Gates, Julius Genachowski, Daniel Gilbert, Thomas Giovine, David Goldberg, Roger Goodell, Bing Gordon, Donald Graham, Brian Grazer, Brad Grey, John Griffin, Andreas Halvorsen, Reed Hastings, General Michael Hayden USAF, James Heavener, John Hendricks, John Henry, John Heyman, Kazuo Hirai, John Hock, Reid Hoffman, Won Pyo Hong, Lisa Hook, Ben Horowitz, Drew Houston, Robert Iger, David Ignatius, Martin Indyk, Phillip Jackson, Eli Jacobs, Paul Jacobs, Robert Johnson, Salar Kamanger, Peter Karmanos, Alexander Karp, Michael Karsch, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Michael Keating, Brian Kelly, Muhtar Kent, Joseph Robert Kerrey, Dara Khosrowshahi, Seth Klaman, Joel Klein, Peter Klein, Philip H Knight, Victor Koo, Robert Kotick, Robert Kraft, Henry Kravis, Ynon Kreiz, Blake Krikorian, Ananda Krishnan, Stan Kroenke, Daniel Lamarre, Michael Larson, Martin Lau, Michael Leavitt, Jay Lee, Eric Lefkofsky, Theordore Leonsis, Max Levchin, David Levin, Phil Libin, Martin Lipton, Bryan Lourd, Kenneth W Lowe, Michael Lowenstein, Dan Lufkin, Dennis P LYnch, Michael Lynton, Maurice Levy, John Malone, Robert Marcus, Morris Mark, Donald Mattrick, Kathleen A McCarragher, General Stanley A McChrystal, Andrew McKenna, General Montgomery C Meigs, Lorenzo Mendoza, Ron Meyer, Roberto Mignone, Hiroshi Mikitani, Bill Miller, Kenneth Miranda, Thomas Monahan, Leslie Moonves, Luis Alberto Moreno, Dan Moskovitz, Craig Mundle, James Murdoch, Rupert Mudoch, Lachlan Murdoch, Nathan Myhrvold, Michael Neidorff, Jonathan M Nelson, Vivi Nevo, Sam Nunn, Michael E O'Hanlon, Daniel J O'Keefe, Don O'Neal, Ronald L Olson, Evan Osnos, CL Butch Otter, Michael Ovitz, Larry Page, Stephen G Pagliuca, Saul Pannell, Mark Papa, William Pappendick, MIchael Pausic, Minxin Pei, Francois-Henry Pinault, Mark Pincus, Laurene Powell, Lawrence F Probst, Rebecca Quick, Thomas Rabe, Jay Rasulo, Jerry Reinsdorf, Danny Rimer, Richard Riordan, Ambassador Charles H Rivkin, Brian Roberts, James Robinson IIi, James Robinson IV, Fernando Rodes Vila, Brian Rogers, Congressman Mike Rogers, Charlie Rose, Daniel Rose, Wilbur L Ross, Haim Saban, Karim Sadjadpour, Sheryl Sandberg, Ricky Sandler, Ted Sarandos, Fayez Sarofim, Nassef Sawiris, Eric Schmidt, John Schneider, Christopher Schroeder, John Scully, Allan Selig, Nicole Seligman, Eric Semler, William Siegel, Herbert Siegel, Ben Silbermann, Christopher Silbermann, Louis Simpson, Eduardo Sirotsky Melzer, Andrew Sorkin, Sir Martin Sorrell, Thomas Staggs, Cristina Stenbeck, David Stern, Michael Stone, Sir Howard Stringer, Robert Swan, Peter Thiel, Mark Thompson, Sebastian Thrun, Thomas Tull, Peter Ueberroth, Joseph Vacanti, Jeffrey Van Harte, Owen Van Natta, Martin Varsavsky, Leftie Vaughn, Michelangelo Volpi, Alexandre Von Furstenberg, Dian von Furstenberg, Casey Wasserman, David Weinberg, Judd Weinberg, Jeff Weiner, Harvey Weinstein, Wallace R Weitz, Robert Werbel, Michael White, Meg Whitman, Jim Wiatt, James Williams, Fred Wilpon, Jeffrey Wilpon, Fred Wilson, David J Winters, Nicholas Woodman, Major General Amos Yadlin, Jerry Yang, Jed York, David Zaslav, Dirk E Ziff, Gianfranco Zoppas, Mark Zuckerberg, Jack Ma, Jeff Bezos, Tony Wible, Marissa Mayer, General Stanley McChrystal, John Kerry, Michael Bloomberg, Hamilton, SVOD service comparison

There’s no turning back and it’s about to get even more disruptive.

Imagine if I need a first draft of a reboot of “Dadbot.” I’m not going to hire Scott Frank for a few million dollars just for a serviceable first draft. ChapGPT is doing the first draft for free and then I will hire some hack to punch it up, add a few jokes that the under ten-year-olds might find amusing and that’s it. It’s a freaking movie about a robot dad raising four human children under the age of twelve. I don’t need Scott Frank for this. I need a machine to pump it out and we make an easy profit. That’s the risk we’re now willing to take.

THIRD, MankaGoNow:

Manka Bros. is going to rebrand MankaGoNow into a more generic service – something that no one is really going to care about but will be too lazy to cancel – like an old dial-up AOL subscription.

The rebranding announcement and new name is coming hopefully in July.

It seems people were confused by “Manka” being in the channel name so we’ll probably go with something like “Go” (Disney owns, though) or “Now” – much less confusing – but new name and brand to come soon.

We paid millions to a branding agency who came up with possibilities for the name such as “GoNow” and “NowGo” – we’re getting close to a final decision.

Oh, yeah, and we’re doing massive layoffs and cost-cutting… details to come.

So… there we are. I’m out of jail, back in Burbank – safely in America – and ready to roll.

Is Hollywood ready?

Khan Manka, Jr., Chairman & CEO – Manka Bros. Studios – The World’s LARGEST Media Company

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Herb Allen’s Sun Valley Conference – 2022 – Day 3 – The Elon Has Landed

Today, was a day in Sun Valley unlike any we’ve ever seen.

Over the years, we’ve had Mogulympics.

We’ve had the horror of Burning Mogul.

We’ve had a group Acid Trip.

We’ve had a Build A Bike session.

We’ve had harrowing white water raft trips in which many of us were close to dying.

We put on a production of “The Rocky Horror Picture Show.”

We’ve had a speech from my daughter, Connie, about how Gen Z was coming to destroy old Hollywood’s business.

And we did a disastrous Improv Night.

I could go on and on – just look at the archive posts at the bottom of this post for examples.

But, I can now say, nothing was as weird and pathetic as what happened tonight.

To set the stage…

Elon Musk arrived in Sun Valley tonight.

His Space X / flying Tesla car rocket landed on a barge on the Duck Pond which was cleared by Sun Valley Lodge Security. Supposedly, all the ducks were put in a neutral area (or in a cooking pot claimed off-the-record from a couple of intern kitchen workers on social media).

Once he landed, it wasn’t the pending Twitter acquisition he wanted to talk about, or the mounting criticism about his politics – he wanted to talk about a play he had written.

A play set on Mars.

He described it as “Our Town” but set on Mars amongst the first settlers there.

Elon Musk: It’s called “My Mars” (based on a play by a non-futurist socialist without a clue how the world works). 

Why he decided to take a shot at a long-dead Thornton Wilder at a conference for billionaires is beyond me – but he still did it.

His condition on coming to Sun Valley was that this play would be mounted with some of the moguls as actors and Herb Allen agreed.

This play was written by Elon Musk. (Based on a play written by a ‘dead white guy’ – Elon’s description.)

Directed by Elon Musk.

Produced by Elon Musk.

The role of the Stage Manager to be played by… Elon Musk.

I later learned there were billionaire Hollywood and Silicon Valley moguls who had been rehearsing this play in a secret location for weeks and it was to be performed tonight in the “Great Hall of The Moguls” (Ballroom B).

The food and drink for the audience was going to be things that would survive on Mars without spoiling after several months of space flight – Cheetos, Slim Jims, and Jim Beam.

These were not bad alternatives considering how horrible Herb Allen’s BBQ & Smores-toporia was… which was our lunch.

Those of us not in the play were brought to the ballroom around 7:30.

The set was bare – floor painted red (for Mars) and just a few “Mars” rocks placed around some taping on the stage to give the actors directions. There was a painted backdrop with the solar system behind with a center focus of the planet Earth.

Elon Musk was sitting on a Mars rock reading a virtual book, ignoring the audience.

The Jim Beam and beef jerky were very popular and the audience was getting quite loose.

At exactly 8:00 – everything went BLACK.

And then it went RED.

And then a pin spot on Elon – reading. He looked up, surprised.

Elon Musk: Oh, hello… I didn’t see you there. I wasn’t expecting an audience tonight. I was just reading “The Martian Chronicles” by Ray Bradbury. Funny stuff. Kind of a joke, really. Would you… like to know what life is really like on Mars?

With that line, several of the Tech and Hollywood moguls came onto the stage.

No reaction from the billionaires in attendance. A couple of coughs and more drinking and bored doom scrolling on their phones.

John Stankey of AT&T in overalls and a Mars oxygen helmet.

John Stankey: Over there is the rock were I live in my oxygen powered sleeping bag and eat my rations. Mars is incredible!

Elon Musk: Here on Mars we keep to ourselves. Brian Roberts doesn’t have to worry about cable prices or churn, he just has to worry about supply chain and whether the next rocket will make it with the food needed to survive.

Brian Roberts: But, of course, it will make it – it’s a Space X rocket, right?

Elon Music: Of course, your Tang is on its way!

This went on and on and on and on… but because he was worth over $100 million (not counting recent plunges) Herb Allen wouldn’t pull the plug.

But a few of us had to leave.

Me and the Bobs from Disney split – as well as almost all Hollywood moguls.

The others, who thought they needed Elon in some way down the line, I suppose, had to sit there.

The rest of the night was me, Barry Diller, Rupert Murdoch, Bob Iger and a couple other older moguls sitting in the bar and lamenting that there was once a time when we released big summer movies that made a lot of money which made it very easy to take August off in Hawaii.

Those days appear to be over.

Khan Manka, Jr. – Chairman & CEO – Manka Bros. Studios – The World’s Largest Media Company

Herb Allen’s Sun Valley Conference – 2022 – Day 1 – The New Guard… Not!

Herb Allen’s Sun Valley Conference – 2022 – Day 2 – Shit Storm

Herb Allen’s Sun Valley Conference – 2021

Herb Allen’s Sun Valley Conference – 2019

Herb Allen’s Sun Valley Conference – 2018

Herb Allen’s Sun Valley Conference – 2017

Herb Allen’s Sun Valley Conference – 2016

Herb Allen’s Sun Valley Conference – 2015

Herb Allen’s Sun Valley Conference – 2014

Herb Allen’s Sun Valley Conference – 2013

Herb Allen’s Sun Valley Conference – 2012

Herb Allen’s Sun Valley Conference – 2011

Herb Allen’s Sun Valley Conference – 2010

Herb Allen’s Sun Valley Conference – 2009

Herb Allen’s Sun Valley Conference – 2008

 

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Herb Allen’s Sun Valley Conference – 2022 – Day 1 – The New Guard… Not!

Yes, I did make it here.

And, yes, it sucks again – and it’s just the first night. I am dictating this to my assistant, Vicky Adler-Modry at 1:30am on July 6th.

There was drunkening tonight at Tha Drankin’ Hole (thanks to the fucking greatest bartender on the planet – Vin Tran – read the past posts at the bottom to prove his legendary status) and this may not come out as coherent – but Vicky has learned over the years how to translate from drunk to English so we’ll see how it goes.

That said, it was an epic night of old white men drinking heavily and continuing to be out-of-touch with everyone, basically, the world. (And I include myself in that description – and I’m not an out-of-touch hypocrite – I’m in an in-touch hypocrite.)

I arrived at Tha Drankin’ Hole with two twenties and a ten burning a hole in my pocket (movie nerds will get that reference) and excited to see my great friend Vin.

Vin Tran: Mr. Khan – so great to see you again!

I then checked my wallet and, turns out, I was a little light on cash.

Khan Manka, Jr.: Vin, how’s my credit here? I seem to be a little light.

Vin Tran: Your credit is fine, Mr. Khan. And, not to worry, Herb Allen is picking up the tab.

Khan Manka, Jr.: Normally, I would appreciate that, Vin, but Herbie Allen has stiffed me so often on poker bets, golf bets, personal loans… if you ever give him a dollar, he will try to pay you back in expired South African Kougarands.

Vin Tran: Well, this one is on the house.

I barely got one sip of my perfect dirty martini from Vin when Bob Chapek came into the bar and sat next to me – even though there were several empty barstools further away from me available.

Bob Chapek: Is it safe?

Khan Manka, Jr.: The fuck.

Bob Chapek: Just kidding, I know it’s not safe. Can I buy you a drink, Khan?

Khan Manka, Jr.: Supposedly, Herb Allen is picking up the tab.

Bob Chapek: (laughs) – Have you ever played poker with that prick?

Khan Manka, Jr.: I was just saying that! He has always been a dine and dash kind of guy.

Bob Chapek: Bartender, Johnny Walker Blue – double.

Vin Tran stares at Bob Chapek, confused.

Khan Manka, Jr.: Bob, you didn’t say the magic word.

Bob Chapek: Magic word.

Khan Manka, Jr.: Gay.

Bob Chapek: Ha ha, ha. This is Idaho, Khan, you can’t say “gay” here either but where’s the media pointing that out?

Khan Manka, Jr.: Touche.

Bob Chapek: So how’s your year looking… oh, fuck.

Bob Iger entered – seemingly on a cloud – not really touching the floor and approached the bar.

Bob Iger: Vin Tran, you son of a bitch, so great to see you!

They embraced.

Vin Tran: Mr. Iger–

Bob Iger: ‘Bob,’ you know that.

Vin Tran: Bob, my favorite – what will it be.

Bob Iger: When in Sun Valley, and my favorite bartender from Vietnam is here – bring on the Mekong River Eel Wine.

Vin Tran: We keep it in stock just for you, Mr. Bob.

Bob Iger put several hundred dollar bills on the bar.

Bob Iger: Keep the change.

Vin Tran: Mr. Herb Allen is covering the bill this week.

Bob Iger: Herb Allen, what a guy! He always picks up the check! Hi Khan… Bob… Chapek.

Khan Manka, Jr.: Hi Bob. How’s retirement treating you?

Bob Iger: Retirement?! I’ve never been more busy. All those charities aren’t going to philanthropize themselves!.

Khan Manka, Jr.: Still hanging from that bar?

Bob Iger: Four hours a day. Keeps me young.

Bob Chapek: Are you just here for the hikes and golf? I can’t imagine you have any business interest here.

Bob Iger: That’s the problem with you, Bob. You can’t IMAGINE. How’s the happiest place on earth?

Bob Chapek: Vin, I’ll have another.

Khan Manka, Jr.: Guys, come on, we’re all moguls. Enjoy it. I hear Herbie is planning a trivia night tonight. That could be fun.

Bob Iger: Vin, keep the river eel shit coming.

I had both Bobs from Disney on either side of me and needed a distraction before this became a full man-on-man pathetic slap fight. And… thank God, I got one in spades.

Rupert Murdoch entered the bar.

Rupert Murdoch is 91 but appeared no older than 90. He is newly-single from his fourth wife, Jerry Hall, and, it appeared, he was ready to mingle.

Rupert Murdoch: Motherfucking, Bob and Bob… and Khan!

Khan Manka, Jr.: Mick Jagger called. He wants his ex-wife back.

Rupert Murdoch: No, he doesn’t. That’s the fucking problem. Are we drinking?

Khan Manka, Jr.: Yeah.

Rupert Murdoch: Are you my wingman tonight?

Khan Manka, Jr.: For who? Sheryl Sandberg. There aren’t many women who come to this conference.

Rupert Murdoch: I mean a waitress, a valet – anything that moves.

Khan Manka, Jr.: No, not your wingman.

Over the next two hours, the Bobs, Rupert and I drank heavily. I didn’t learn much about what was happening at their businesses other than they truly think they are on top of it – so no need for new blood.

Manka Bros. has always looked to the future and have lead the way with every new innovation that the other studios either stole or copied exactly. We’re even starting a podcast division!

But I look at the Bobs and Rupert and his kids and all the other Hollywood moguls and fear we’re leaving generations of fans behind.

I can’t retire because my CFO is an Artificial Intelligence machine – Barb (innovation!) – and all my number twos keep leaving for “better jobs” (their words).

So, I’m managing this shit down until I live out my days in my house in the Seychelles.

Herb Allen (speaking of out of touch) came into the bar and made a brief painful speech about the future of some sort of bullshit.

Herb Allen: We are on the precipice of… blah blah blah…

Preach on, 84-year-visionary.

The tech CEOs, who are destroying the world’s mental health, entered a few minutes later – as robots… OK, just Zuckerberg – not drinking and really only there to try to destroy the boomer moguls in trivia.

Good luck, jack fuck!

A local actor in a regional production of ‘Ragtime’ – Jerome Todd – was the one tasked with running the trivia night to a group of drunken billionaires. Being one of the only actors of color to have a theater job in Idaho was an impressive feat – not that it meant anything to Rupert or Barry Diller who were just hoping to guess the name of the dog in ‘Wizard of Oz’ before the tech nerds.

If nothing happens tomorrow that is interesting (future of streaming, theatrical and television), I will recount the disaster tonight that was Trivia at Tha Drankin’ Hole.

Khan Manka, Jr. – Chairman & CEO – Manka Bros. Studios – The World’s Largest Media Company

Herb Allen’s Sun Valley Conference – 2022 – Day 2 – Shit Storm

Herb Allen’s Sun Valley Conference – 2021

Herb Allen’s Sun Valley Conference – 2019

Herb Allen’s Sun Valley Conference – 2018

Herb Allen’s Sun Valley Conference – 2017

Herb Allen’s Sun Valley Conference – 2016

Herb Allen’s Sun Valley Conference – 2015

Herb Allen’s Sun Valley Conference – 2014

Herb Allen’s Sun Valley Conference – 2013

Herb Allen’s Sun Valley Conference – 2012

Herb Allen’s Sun Valley Conference – 2011

Herb Allen’s Sun Valley Conference – 2010

Herb Allen’s Sun Valley Conference – 2009

Herb Allen’s Sun Valley Conference – 2008

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Manka Bros. Would Like To Offer Bob Greenblatt A Job

Adam Fogelson, Alan Spoon, Alexander von Furstenberg, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Arthur Martinez, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Brad Grey, Brian Roberts, Bryan Lourd, Chase Carey, Craig Smith, David Geffen, David Rosenblatt, Donald R. Keough, Donna Langley, Edgard Bronfman, Electus, Ezra Kucharz, fairy tale movies, Graham Stanton, Greg Blatt, Greg Morrow, Greg Stevens, Gregg Winiarski, Hans Woolley, Harry Sloan, Hey Diddle Diddle, Jason Stewart, Jay Herratti, Jeff Sagansky, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Jill Kennedy, Joanne Hawkins, Joey Levin, John C. Malone, John Ferriter, John Foley, John Malone, Josh Abramson, Jr., Kara Swisher, Khan Manka, Louis Castle, Manka Bros., Mark Stein, Michael Eisner, Michael Schwerdtman, Michael Zeisser, Nikki Finke, Notional, On Medea, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Peter Chernin, Phillippe Dauman, Richard F. Zannino, Rick Finkelstein, Ricky Van Veen, Ron Meyer, Rupert Murdoch, Scott Garell, Scott Savitz, Shana Fisher, Sharon Waxman, Stacey Snider, Steve Burke, Steve Jobs, Steven Spielberg, Sumner Redstone, Terry Semel, Thomas J. McInerney, Tina Brown, Tony DiSanto, Victor Kaufman, Bob Greenblatt

Good afternoon from the Seychelles! I’ll be back in Burbank soon – so stop asking.

So – it appears Bob Greenblatt is leaving NBC because a) He needs another challenge; b) Life isn’t interesting anymore and he needs to climb a fucking mountain; c) I got enough money, ho; or d) He’d really like a chance to turn around Manka Bros.’ MBS network.

Adam Fogelson, Alan Spoon, Alexander von Furstenberg, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Arthur Martinez, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Brad Grey, Brian Roberts, Bryan Lourd, Chase Carey, Craig Smith, David Geffen, David Rosenblatt, Donald R. Keough, Donna Langley, Edgard Bronfman, Electus, Ezra Kucharz, fairy tale movies, Graham Stanton, Greg Blatt, Greg Morrow, Greg Stevens, Gregg Winiarski, Hans Woolley, Harry Sloan, Hey Diddle Diddle, Jason Stewart, Jay Herratti, Jeff Sagansky, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Jill Kennedy, Joanne Hawkins, Joey Levin, John C. Malone, John Ferriter, John Foley, John Malone, Josh Abramson, Jr., Kara Swisher, Khan Manka, Louis Castle, Manka Bros., Mark Stein, Michael Eisner, Michael Schwerdtman, Michael Zeisser, Nikki Finke, Notional, On Medea, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Peter Chernin, Phillippe Dauman, Richard F. Zannino, Rick Finkelstein, Ricky Van Veen, Ron Meyer, Rupert Murdoch, Scott Garell, Scott Savitz, Shana Fisher, Sharon Waxman, Stacey Snider, Steve Burke, Steve Jobs, Steven Spielberg, Sumner Redstone, Terry Semel, Thomas J. McInerney, Tina Brown, Tony DiSanto, Victor Kaufman, Bob Greenblatt

I know for a fact the answer is d) because running MBS is the ultimate job in television. The crown jewel in a town where most jewels are borrowed and bullshit.

MBS, as we all know (I don’t need to give everyone a fucking history lesson), was the first television network in history – which was born from the first radio network in history.

MBS is truly the reason all us all here today, making millions in Hollywood for putting out a (in general) sub-par product..

But, that said, even the greatest sucks ass on occasion (I mean, look at Jimmy Stewart and Mohammed Ali!).

MBS currently sucks ass – and needs new leadership.

You, Bob, are that leadership. If you’re looking for a new challenge in life – this is fucking it.

I mean there are challenges – like a cure for Alzheimers which, in my opinion, is doable – and there are CHALLENGES – like turning around the fucking lame ass MBS television network.

Adam Fogelson, Alan Spoon, Alexander von Furstenberg, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Arthur Martinez, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Brad Grey, Brian Roberts, Bryan Lourd, Chase Carey, Craig Smith, David Geffen, David Rosenblatt, Donald R. Keough, Donna Langley, Edgard Bronfman, Electus, Ezra Kucharz, fairy tale movies, Graham Stanton, Greg Blatt, Greg Morrow, Greg Stevens, Gregg Winiarski, Hans Woolley, Harry Sloan, Hey Diddle Diddle, Jason Stewart, Jay Herratti, Jeff Sagansky, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Jill Kennedy, Joanne Hawkins, Joey Levin, John C. Malone, John Ferriter, John Foley, John Malone, Josh Abramson, Jr., Kara Swisher, Khan Manka, Louis Castle, Manka Bros., Mark Stein, Michael Eisner, Michael Schwerdtman, Michael Zeisser, Nikki Finke, Notional, On Medea, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Peter Chernin, Phillippe Dauman, Richard F. Zannino, Rick Finkelstein, Ricky Van Veen, Ron Meyer, Rupert Murdoch, Scott Garell, Scott Savitz, Shana Fisher, Sharon Waxman, Stacey Snider, Steve Burke, Steve Jobs, Steven Spielberg, Sumner Redstone, Terry Semel, Thomas J. McInerney, Tina Brown, Tony DiSanto, Victor Kaufman, Bob Greenblatt

Come on, Bob, you can do this!

We can do live musicals – “Rampage Of The Stegosaur” or “Gulag” come to mind.

We can move forward with one of my favorite pilots over the years “My Wife Left Me For Bucky Dent.” 

Regardless of all this great IP, what we really need at MBS is leadership.

I can’t do it all. I’ve got the world’s largest media company to run – just taking over a measly TV network would be a bullshit job for me.

But not for you. You’re good at that, Bob.

So, my offer is this… a job. A good job… for good money.

Good Hollywood money.

I’m not talking Ohio money – I’m talking Hollywood money!

Let’s talk.

Adam Fogelson, Alan Spoon, Alexander von Furstenberg, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Arthur Martinez, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Brad Grey, Brian Roberts, Bryan Lourd, Chase Carey, Craig Smith, David Geffen, David Rosenblatt, Donald R. Keough, Donna Langley, Edgard Bronfman, Electus, Ezra Kucharz, fairy tale movies, Graham Stanton, Greg Blatt, Greg Morrow, Greg Stevens, Gregg Winiarski, Hans Woolley, Harry Sloan, Hey Diddle Diddle, Jason Stewart, Jay Herratti, Jeff Sagansky, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Jill Kennedy, Joanne Hawkins, Joey Levin, John C. Malone, John Ferriter, John Foley, John Malone, Josh Abramson, Jr., Kara Swisher, Khan Manka, Louis Castle, Manka Bros., Mark Stein, Michael Eisner, Michael Schwerdtman, Michael Zeisser, Nikki Finke, Notional, On Medea, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Peter Chernin, Phillippe Dauman, Richard F. Zannino, Rick Finkelstein, Ricky Van Veen, Ron Meyer, Rupert Murdoch, Scott Garell, Scott Savitz, Shana Fisher, Sharon Waxman, Stacey Snider, Steve Burke, Steve Jobs, Steven Spielberg, Sumner Redstone, Terry Semel, Thomas J. McInerney, Tina Brown, Tony DiSanto, Victor KaufmanKhan Manka, Jr. – Chairman & CEO – Manka Bros. Studios – The World’s Largest Media Company

P.S. – If you’re leaving for difficult, personal reasons, I apologize and wish you nothing but the best.

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Manka Bros. To Resume Theatrical Tentpole Strategy

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Herb Allen's Sun Valley Conference 2013, Sun Valley Lodge, Bin Tran, Vin Tran, Lee S Ainslie III, Yousef Al Otaiba, Hans-Holger Albrecht, Paul G Allen, James Anderson, Marc Andreessen, Michael Angelakis, Tim Armstrong, Nikesh Arora, Neil M Ashe, Emilio Azcarraga, Manvinder S Banga, Lionel Barber, Craig R Barrett, Willow Bay, Andreas Bechtolsheim, Marc Benioff, Jeffrey Berg, James Berkus, Michael S Berman, Mark Bertolini, Gary Bettman, Jeff Bewkes, Jeffrey P Bezos, Aneel Bhusri, The Right Honorable Tony Blair, Gregory R Blatt, Anthony H Bloom, Michael R Bloomberg, Steven R Boal, Scott A Bommer, Cory A Booker, Jeffrey H Boyd, Sergey Brin, Glenn Britt, Tom Brokaw, Michael J Brown, Howard G Buffett, Susie Buffett, Warren Buffett, John Burbank, Stephen Burke, Erin Burnett, Ursula Burns, John E Bush, Jeanie Buss, John A Canning Jr., Chase Carey, Wences Casares, Mark Casey, Kenneth Chenault, Peter Chernin, Brian Chesky, Richard Chilton, Chris Christie, Lewis Cime, Adriana Cisneros, Gustavo Cisneros, Vittorio Colao, Timothy Collins, Patrick Collison, Timothy Cook, Anderson Cooper, David Corkins, Delos Cosgrove, Dick Costolo, Cristian Croitoru, Henry Crumpton, Jose Luis Cutrale, Will Danoff, Philippe Dauman, Christopher Davis, Alfonso de Angoitia, John DeGioia, Diego Della Valle, Brian Demain, Andre Desmarais, David DeVoe, Feroz Dewan, William DeWitt, Barry Diller, Daniel Doctoroff, Jonathan Dolgen, John Donahoe, Jack Dorsey, Michael Duke, Mathias Dopfner, David Ebersman, Wesley Edens, Marvin Edwards, Eric Eisner, Michael Eisner, John Elkann, Thomas Evans, Randel Falco, Jose Antonio Fernandez, Michael Ferror, Niall W. A. FitzGerald, Thomas Friedman, Michael Fries, Tommy Frist, Daniel Fulton, Michael Fux, Mala Gaonkar, Whitfield Gardner, William Gates, Melinda Gates, Julius Genachowski, Daniel Gilbert, Thomas Giovine, David Goldberg, Roger Goodell, Bing Gordon, Donald Graham, Brian Grazer, Brad Grey, John Griffin, Andreas Halvorsen, Reed Hastings, General Michael Hayden USAF, James Heavener, John Hendricks, John Henry, John Heyman, Kazuo Hirai, John Hock, Reid Hoffman, Won Pyo Hong, Lisa Hook, Ben Horowitz, Drew Houston, Robert Iger, David Ignatius, Martin Indyk, Phillip Jackson, Eli Jacobs, Paul Jacobs, Robert Johnson, Salar Kamanger, Peter Karmanos, Alexander Karp, Michael Karsch, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Michael Keating, Brian Kelly, Muhtar Kent, Joseph Robert Kerrey, Dara Khosrowshahi, Seth Klaman, Joel Klein, Peter Klein, Philip H Knight, Victor Koo, Robert Kotick, Robert Kraft, Henry Kravis, Ynon Kreiz, Blake Krikorian, Ananda Krishnan, Stan Kroenke, Daniel Lamarre, Michael Larson, Martin Lau, Michael Leavitt, Jay Lee, Eric Lefkofsky, Theordore Leonsis, Max Levchin, David Levin, Phil Libin, Martin Lipton, Bryan Lourd, Kenneth W Lowe, Michael Lowenstein, Dan Lufkin, Dennis P LYnch, Michael Lynton, Maurice Levy, John Malone, Robert Marcus, Morris Mark, Donald Mattrick, Kathleen A McCarragher, General Stanley A McChrystal, Andrew McKenna, General Montgomery C Meigs, Lorenzo Mendoza, Ron Meyer, Roberto Mignone, Hiroshi Mikitani, Bill Miller, Kenneth Miranda, Thomas Monahan, Leslie Moonves, Luis Alberto Moreno, Dan Moskovitz, Craig Mundle, James Murdoch, Rupert Mudoch, Lachlan Murdoch, Nathan Myhrvold, Michael Neidorff, Jonathan M Nelson, Vivi Nevo, Sam Nunn, Michael E O'Hanlon, Daniel J O'Keefe, Don O'Neal, Ronald L Olson, Evan Osnos, CL Butch Otter, Michael Ovitz, Larry Page, Stephen G Pagliuca, Saul Pannell, Mark Papa, William Pappendick, MIchael Pausic, Minxin Pei, Francois-Henry Pinault, Mark Pincus, Laurene Powell, Lawrence F Probst, Rebecca Quick, Thomas Rabe, Jay Rasulo, Jerry Reinsdorf, Danny Rimer, Richard Riordan, Ambassador Charles H Rivkin, Brian Roberts, James Robinson IIi, James Robinson IV, Fernando Rodes Vila, Brian Rogers, Congressman Mike Rogers, Charlie Rose, Daniel Rose, Wilbur L Ross, Haim Saban, Karim Sadjadpour, Sheryl Sandberg, Ricky Sandler, Ted Sarandos, Fayez Sarofim, Nassef Sawiris, Eric Schmidt, John Schneider, Christopher Schroeder, John Scully, Allan Selig, Nicole Seligman, Eric Semler, William Siegel, Herbert Siegel, Ben Silbermann, Christopher Silbermann, Louis Simpson, Eduardo Sirotsky Melzer, Andrew Sorkin, Sir Martin Sorrell, Thomas Staggs, Cristina Stenbeck, David Stern, Michael Stone, Sir Howard Stringer, Robert Swan, Peter Thiel, Mark Thompson, Sebastian Thrun, Thomas Tull, Peter Ueberroth, Joseph Vacanti, Jeffrey Van Harte, Owen Van Natta, Martin Varsavsky, Leftie Vaughn, Michelangelo Volpi, Alexandre Von Furstenberg, Dian von Furstenberg, Casey Wasserman, David Weinberg, Judd Weinberg, Jeff Weiner, Harvey Weinstein, Wallace R Weitz, Robert Werbel, Michael White, Meg Whitman, Jim Wiatt, James Williams, Fred Wilpon, Jeffrey Wilpon, Fred Wilson, David J Winters, Nicholas Woodman, Major General Amos Yadlin, Jerry Yang, Jed York, David Zaslav, Dirk E Ziff, Gianfranco Zoppas, Mark Zuckerberg, Jack Ma, Jeff Bezos, Tony Wible, Marissa Mayer, General Stanley McChrystal, John Kerry, Michael Bloomberg, Kevin Tsujihara, Kevin Feige

Good afternoon.

After announcing last week that Manka Bros. would be abandoning its tentpole strategy to focus on lower budget, more interesting films, I have decided based the insane opening of “Wonder Woman” – that we will resume our tentpole strategy at Manka Bros. Films.

Adam Fogelson, Alan Spoon, Alexander von Furstenberg, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Arthur Martinez, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Brad Grey, Brian Roberts, Bryan Lourd, Chase Carey, Craig Smith, David Geffen, David Rosenblatt, Donald R. Keough, Donna Langley, Edgard Bronfman, Electus, Ezra Kucharz, fairy tale movies, Graham Stanton, Greg Blatt, Greg Morrow, Greg Stevens, Gregg Winiarski, Hans Woolley, Harry Sloan, Hey Diddle Diddle, Jason Stewart, Jay Herratti, Jeff Sagansky, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Jill Kennedy, Joanne Hawkins, Joey Levin, John C. Malone, John Ferriter, John Foley, John Malone, Josh Abramson, Jr., Kara Swisher, Khan Manka, Louis Castle, Manka Bros., Mark Stein, Michael Eisner, Michael Schwerdtman, Michael Zeisser, Nikki Finke, Notional, On Medea, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Peter Chernin, Phillippe Dauman, Richard F. Zannino, Rick Finkelstein, Ricky Van Veen, Ron Meyer, Rupert Murdoch, Scott Garell, Scott Savitz, Shana Fisher, Sharon Waxman, Stacey Snider, Steve Burke, Steve Jobs, Steven Spielberg, Sumner Redstone, Terry Semel, Thomas J. McInerney, Tina Brown, Tony DiSanto, Victor Kaufman

I don’t know what I (and, the real people to blame, the corporate stooges who backed me up on this idea) was thinking.

Actually, I do. I was thinking “Damn, Scotch is so delicious!”

But on the long flight home from the Seychelles, I came to the conclusion that it’s impossible to craft a solid theatrical production and distribution strategy after drinking a bottle of Scotch 10,000 miles away from the office.

So… here’s the drill…

The folks at Manka Highbrow, Manka Dogme, Manka Docs, Manka Mumblecore and Manka Ultra should continue to produce the crap that you a-holes pump out every year.

The tentpole movies from Manka Bros. Films (mostly MC Comics and the Magpie franchise) that were deep in development should be picked up again (I hope you didn’t delete all the files!), and those movies that were pushed out of production should resume shooting immediately.

Those expecting to have free time this weekend, should cancel any plans and work work work instead.

If anyone brings up my previous blog in front of me, you will be fired.

Adam Fogelson, Alan Spoon, Alexander von Furstenberg, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Arthur Martinez, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Brad Grey, Brian Roberts, Bryan Lourd, Chase Carey, Craig Smith, David Geffen, David Rosenblatt, Donald R. Keough, Donna Langley, Edgard Bronfman, Electus, Ezra Kucharz, fairy tale movies, Graham Stanton, Greg Blatt, Greg Morrow, Greg Stevens, Gregg Winiarski, Hans Woolley, Harry Sloan, Hey Diddle Diddle, Jason Stewart, Jay Herratti, Jeff Sagansky, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Jill Kennedy, Joanne Hawkins, Joey Levin, John C. Malone, John Ferriter, John Foley, John Malone, Josh Abramson, Jr., Kara Swisher, Khan Manka, Louis Castle, Manka Bros., Mark Stein, Michael Eisner, Michael Schwerdtman, Michael Zeisser, Nikki Finke, Notional, On Medea, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Peter Chernin, Phillippe Dauman, Richard F. Zannino, Rick Finkelstein, Ricky Van Veen, Ron Meyer, Rupert Murdoch, Scott Garell, Scott Savitz, Shana Fisher, Sharon Waxman, Stacey Snider, Steve Burke, Steve Jobs, Steven Spielberg, Sumner Redstone, Terry Semel, Thomas J. McInerney, Tina Brown, Tony DiSanto, Victor KaufmanKhan Manka, Jr. – Chairman & CEO – Manka Bros. Studios – The World’s Largest Media Company

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Why Is Everyone So F-ing Proud To Have “Cut The Cord”?

Allen & Company retreat, Ari Emanuel, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Carol Bartz, DumbDumb, Electus, Eric Schmidt, Gina Bianchini, Herb Allen, Herb Allen Sun Valley Conference, Herbert Allen, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jerry Yang, Khan Manka, Lady Gaga, Leslie Moonves, Lloyd Grohl, Manka Bros., Marissa Mayer, Mark Pincus, Mark Zuckerberg, Peter Chernin, Phillippe Dauman, Reid Hoffman, Richard Parsons, Ricky Van Veen, Rupert Murdoch, Sergey Brin, Sheryl Sandberg, Steve Jobs, Sun Valley Retreat, Sun Valley Retreat 2010, Terry Semel, World's Largest Media Company, Chase Carey, James Murdoch, Elisabeth Murdoch, Lachlan Murdoch, Jim Gianopulos, Joel Klein, Jon Miller, Steve Burke, Michael Angelakis, Leslie Moonves, Philippe Dauman, Jeff Bewkes, John Martin, Howard Stringer, Rob Wiesenthal, Michael Lynton, John Malone, Greg Maffei, Haim Saban, David Zaslav, John Hendricks, Mike White, Edgar Bronfman, Len Blavatnik, Tim Armstrong, Peter Chernin, Tom Freston, Carol Bartz, Jerry Yang, Mark Pincus, Owen Van Natta, Brian Roberts, Jason Kilar, Wayne Willich, Reid Hoffman, Harvey Weinstein, Diane Von Furstenberg, Andrew Mason, Jason Kilar, Ben Horowitz, Gina Bianchini, Mark Pincus, Ali Pincus, Robert Wiesenthal, Tom Freston, Bing Gordon, Bill Gates, Chris Christie, Martin Sorrell, Eric Lefkofsky, Oprah Winfrey, Jeff Bezos, Tim Cook, Cory Booker, Michael Bloomberg, Joel Klein, Lachlan Murdoch, James Murdoch, Bobby Kotick, Marc Andreessen, Peter Thiel, Dick Costolo, Ross Levinsoh, Paul Sagan, Leslie Moonves, Tim Armstrong, Glenn Britt, Donald Graham, Kazuo Hirai, Howard Stringer, Jae-Yong Lee, Bryan Lourd, Ron Meyer, Brad Grey, Edmund Lee, Anthony Palazzo, John Malone, Chris Silbermann, Jim Berkus, Roger Goodell, David Stern, Chris Christie, Julius Genachowski, Erin Burnett, Charlie Rose, Becky Quick, Todd Davidson, Reed Hastings, Terry Semel, Jerry Yang, Ken Allen, Laurene Powell Jobs, Jean-Bernard Levy, Lucian Grainge, Jonathan Boyar, Mark Pincus, Michael Lynton, Mandy Tavakol, Mario Monti, Dave DeVoe, John Martin, Brian Roberts, David Zaslav, Mel Karmazin, Carol Bartz, Scott Thompson, Jason Kilar, King Abdullah II, Queen Rania, Queen Noor, #sv12, #Sunvalley2012, #allenco, Robert Johnson, Anne Sweeney, Brian Grazer, Michael Ovitz, Hiroshi Mikitani, Owen Van Natta, Don Mattrick

 

WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU IDIOTS?!!

I talked to so many people over the Holidays in Gstaad – all telling me they “no longer have television. We finally cut the cord!” And they all seem so f-ing happy and proud of themselves.

Why is everyone so happy to see the television business fall apart!!?

Do you nutjobs realize what this means for me and my company?

We have thousands of employees (granted, most suck at their jobs or we wouldn’t be in this position) who have kids and parents and dogs – and they all need to be fed.

You happy little cord cutters are destroying many lives and should be ashamed of yourself.

And, frankly, you’re doing yourselves (and your children, parents and dogs) a disservice.

Now go watch the new season of Forensics on MBS and stop causing problems.

Adam Fogelson, Alan Spoon, Alexander von Furstenberg, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Arthur Martinez, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Brad Grey, Brian Roberts, Bryan Lourd, Chase Carey, Craig Smith, David Geffen, David Rosenblatt, Donald R. Keough, Donna Langley, Edgard Bronfman, Electus, Ezra Kucharz, fairy tale movies, Graham Stanton, Greg Blatt, Greg Morrow, Greg Stevens, Gregg Winiarski, Hans Woolley, Harry Sloan, Hey Diddle Diddle, Jason Stewart, Jay Herratti, Jeff Sagansky, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Jill Kennedy, Joanne Hawkins, Joey Levin, John C. Malone, John Ferriter, John Foley, John Malone, Josh Abramson, Jr., Kara Swisher, Khan Manka, Louis Castle, Manka Bros., Mark Stein, Michael Eisner, Michael Schwerdtman, Michael Zeisser, Nikki Finke, Notional, On Medea, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Peter Chernin, Phillippe Dauman, Richard F. Zannino, Rick Finkelstein, Ricky Van Veen, Ron Meyer, Rupert Murdoch, Scott Garell, Scott Savitz, Shana Fisher, Sharon Waxman, Stacey Snider, Steve Burke, Steve Jobs, Steven Spielberg, Sumner Redstone, Terry Semel, Thomas J. McInerney, Tina Brown, Tony DiSanto, Victor KaufmanKhan Manka, Jr. – Chairman & CEO – Manka Bros. Studios

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Profits Up – Time For Cuts

Allen & Company retreat, Anne Mulcahy, Ari Emanuel, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Bobby Kotick, Carol Bartz, Charlie Rose, Cory Booker, DumbDumb, Electus, Eric Schmidt, Erin Burnett, Gina Bianchini, Harvey Weinstein, Herb Allen, Herb Allen Sun Valley Conference, Herbert Allen, Jean-Bernard Levy, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jerry Yang, John Donahue, Ken Auletta, Khan Manka, Lachlan Murdoch, Lady Gaga, Leslie Moonves, Lionel Barber, Lloyd Grohl, Manka Bros., Marc Andreessen, Marissa Mayer, Mark Pincus, Mark Zuckerberg, Martin Sorrell, Mathias Dopfner, Mike Bloomberg, Niall FitzGerald, Peter Chernin, Phillippe Dauman, Reid Hoffman, Richard Parsons, Ricky Van Veen, Rob Wiesenthal, Robert L. Johnson, Ron Meyer, Rupert Murdoch, Sergey Brin, Sheryl Sandberg, Steve Jobs, Sun Valley Retreat, Sun Valley Retreat 2010, Terry Semel, Tom Freston, Tom Friedman, Ursula Burns, Vivi Nevo, Warren Buffett, World's Largest Media Company, Rupert Murdoch, Jose Maria Aznar, natalie Bancroft, Peter Barnes, Chase Carey, Kenneth Cowley, David DeVoe, Viet Dinh, Rod Eddington, Joel Klein, Andrew S.B. Knight, James Murdoch, Lachlan Murdoch, Thomas Perkins, Arthur Siskind, John Thornton, Stanley Shuman, Rebekah Brooks, Les Hinton, Teri Everett, jack Horner, Julie Henderson, Reed Nolte, Roger Ailes, Janet Nova, John Nallen, Beryl Cook, Michael Regan, Genie Gavenchak, Brian Lewis, Irena Briganti, Dan Berger, Rosabel Tao, Steven Rubenstein, Suzanne Halpin, Elisabeth Murdoch, Wendi Deng Murdoch

Allen & Company retreat, Anne Mulcahy, Ari Emanuel, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Bobby Kotick, Carol Bartz, Charlie Rose, Cory Booker, DumbDumb, Electus, Eric Schmidt, Erin Burnett, Gina Bianchini, Harvey Weinstein, Herb Allen, Herb Allen Sun Valley Conference, Herbert Allen, Jean-Bernard Levy, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jerry Yang, John Donahue, Ken Auletta, Khan Manka, Lachlan Murdoch, Lady Gaga, Leslie Moonves, Lionel Barber, Lloyd Grohl, Manka Bros., Marc Andreessen, Marissa Mayer, Mark Pincus, Mark Zuckerberg, Martin Sorrell, Mathias Dopfner, Mike Bloomberg, Niall FitzGerald, Peter Chernin, Phillippe Dauman, Reid Hoffman, Richard Parsons, Ricky Van Veen, Rob Wiesenthal, Robert L. Johnson, Ron Meyer, Rupert Murdoch, Sergey Brin, Sheryl Sandberg, Steve Jobs, Sun Valley Retreat, Sun Valley Retreat 2010, Terry Semel, Tom Freston, Tom Friedman, Ursula Burns, Vivi Nevo, Warren Buffett, World's Largest Media Company, Rupert Murdoch, Jose Maria Aznar, natalie Bancroft, Peter Barnes, Chase Carey, Kenneth Cowley, David DeVoe, Viet Dinh, Rod Eddington, Joel Klein, Andrew S.B. Knight, James Murdoch, Lachlan Murdoch, Thomas Perkins, Arthur Siskind, John Thornton, Stanley Shuman, Rebekah Brooks, Les Hinton, Teri Everett, jack Horner, Julie Henderson, Reed Nolte, Roger Ailes, Janet Nova, John Nallen, Beryl Cook, Michael Regan, Genie Gavenchak, Brian Lewis, Irena Briganti, Dan Berger, Rosabel Tao, Steven Rubenstein, Suzanne Halpin, Elisabeth Murdoch, Wendi Deng MurdochGood morning.

As many of you know, Manka Bros. had an excellent 2013 (mainly from the asbestos lawsuit payout from the state [yeah, baby!] and increased attendance at our Manka Fun Parks due to the new Animaltered Attractions in Des Moines and Halifax).

Because of our good fortune and superior senior management (with the exception of Jay McBee in the Television Group), we, unfortunately, must make some severe cuts in order to continue to grow.

Many of the overhead cuts we must make will certainly impact many lives (because you won’t be getting paid anymore and we live in a society where money is important), but those affected can take comfort in the fact that because they lost their job, Manka Bros. will continue to thrive.

I will leave it to the divisional heads to make the ultimate decision on who and how many get cut put here is a percentage breakdown of the mandatory cuts:

MANKA BROS. THEATRICAL GROUP:

  • Manka Docs: Moving to an acquisition only strategy [EVERYONE IN PRODUCTION CUT]
  • Manka Mumblecore: Launching division in 2nd Quarter [30% CUT]

 

MANKA BROS. TELEVISION GROUP:

  • MBS: Broadcast is dying, our management sucks and we need MUCH better programming – [40% CUT IN DEVELOPMENT]
  • Manka Business Channel: Must relaunch with a new political leaning – [100% OF LIBERALS CUTS – FISCAL CONSERVATIVES HIRED TO REPLACE]
  • Manka Classic Movies: Doing great – subs and subscriber fees are up. [20% CUT – but that’s only 2 people – 10 people run that whole channel!]

 

MANKA MUSIC GROUP:

  • NO CUTS! The Music Industry is incredibly healthy! Thanks to Seamus and Mac McCord for excellent album launches!

 

MANKA PUBLISHING GROUP:

  • Manka Books and Mankazines: You don’t need me to tell you how fucked you are – you can either CUT yourselves or wait until somebody comes around to your cubicle but it will happen at some point (unless you work on the few blockbuster titles/authors we have remaining.

 

OTHER BUSINESSES:

 

Allen & Company retreat, Anne Mulcahy, Ari Emanuel, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Bobby Kotick, Carol Bartz, Charlie Rose, Cory Booker, DumbDumb, Electus, Eric Schmidt, Erin Burnett, Gina Bianchini, Harvey Weinstein, Herb Allen, Herb Allen Sun Valley Conference, Herbert Allen, Jean-Bernard Levy, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jerry Yang, John Donahue, Ken Auletta, Khan Manka, Lachlan Murdoch, Lady Gaga, Leslie Moonves, Lionel Barber, Lloyd Grohl, Manka Bros., Marc Andreessen, Marissa Mayer, Mark Pincus, Mark Zuckerberg, Martin Sorrell, Mathias Dopfner, Mike Bloomberg, Niall FitzGerald, Peter Chernin, Phillippe Dauman, Reid Hoffman, Richard Parsons, Ricky Van Veen, Rob Wiesenthal, Robert L. Johnson, Ron Meyer, Rupert Murdoch, Sergey Brin, Sheryl Sandberg, Steve Jobs, Sun Valley Retreat, Sun Valley Retreat 2010, Terry Semel, Tom Freston, Tom Friedman, Ursula Burns, Vivi Nevo, Warren Buffett, World's Largest Media Company, Rupert Murdoch, Jose Maria Aznar, natalie Bancroft, Peter Barnes, Chase Carey, Kenneth Cowley, David DeVoe, Viet Dinh, Rod Eddington, Joel Klein, Andrew S.B. Knight, James Murdoch, Lachlan Murdoch, Thomas Perkins, Arthur Siskind, John Thornton, Stanley Shuman, Rebekah Brooks, Les Hinton, Teri Everett, jack Horner, Julie Henderson, Reed Nolte, Roger Ailes, Janet Nova, John Nallen, Beryl Cook, Michael Regan, Genie Gavenchak, Brian Lewis, Irena Briganti, Dan Berger, Rosabel Tao, Steven Rubenstein, Suzanne Halpin, Elisabeth Murdoch, Wendi Deng MurdochCorporate has recommended to me that no cuts be made in Corporate.

I’ll go along with that for now – but I’ll be watching!

——————–

So that’s it.

Get to work making those cuts.

After the task is complete, I’ll have some sort of barbecue or party at my house for those who are left.

Looking forward to a very bright future!

Adam Fogelson, Alan Spoon, Alexander von Furstenberg, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Arthur Martinez, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Brad Grey, Brian Roberts, Bryan Lourd, Chase Carey, Craig Smith, David Geffen, David Rosenblatt, Donald R. Keough, Donna Langley, Edgard Bronfman, Electus, Ezra Kucharz, fairy tale movies, Graham Stanton, Greg Blatt, Greg Morrow, Greg Stevens, Gregg Winiarski, Hans Woolley, Harry Sloan, Hey Diddle Diddle, Jason Stewart, Jay Herratti, Jeff Sagansky, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Jill Kennedy, Joanne Hawkins, Joey Levin, John C. Malone, John Ferriter, John Foley, John Malone, Josh Abramson, Jr., Kara Swisher, Khan Manka, Louis Castle, Manka Bros., Mark Stein, Michael Eisner, Michael Schwerdtman, Michael Zeisser, Nikki Finke, Notional, On Medea, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Peter Chernin, Phillippe Dauman, Richard F. Zannino, Rick Finkelstein, Ricky Van Veen, Ron Meyer, Rupert Murdoch, Scott Garell, Scott Savitz, Shana Fisher, Sharon Waxman, Stacey Snider, Steve Burke, Steve Jobs, Steven Spielberg, Sumner Redstone, Terry Semel, Thomas J. McInerney, Tina Brown, Tony DiSanto, Victor KaufmanKhan Manka, Jr. – Chairman & CEO – Manka Bros. Studios – The World’s Largest Media Company

 

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My Sochi Hotel Room Is Horrible!

Manka Bros, Khan Manka, Sochi Olympics, Sochi, Russia, 22nd Olympics, horrible hotel room, Rupert Murdoch

I have filed an official complaint with the Russian government. Pootie-Poot has pissed off the wrong guy!

You don’t treat people like this – especially important people.

My room:

Manka Bros, Khan Manka, Sochi Olympics, Sochi, Russia, 22nd Olympics, horrible hotel roomThe sheets, the wallpaper, everything about this place is uninhabitable.

The bathroom:

Manka Bros, Khan Manka, Sochi Olympics, Sochi, Russia, 22nd Olympics, horrible hotel room

My God, these colors. The floor is not even heated and it gets pretty cold at night! I don’t even think it’s real marble on the counter tops.

I may not be staying past the Opening Ceremonies because this is a joke and an insult.

Adam Fogelson, Alan Spoon, Alexander von Furstenberg, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Arthur Martinez, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Brad Grey, Brian Roberts, Bryan Lourd, Chase Carey, Craig Smith, David Geffen, David Rosenblatt, Donald R. Keough, Donna Langley, Edgard Bronfman, Electus, Ezra Kucharz, fairy tale movies, Graham Stanton, Greg Blatt, Greg Morrow, Greg Stevens, Gregg Winiarski, Hans Woolley, Harry Sloan, Hey Diddle Diddle, Jason Stewart, Jay Herratti, Jeff Sagansky, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Jill Kennedy, Joanne Hawkins, Joey Levin, John C. Malone, John Ferriter, John Foley, John Malone, Josh Abramson, Jr., Kara Swisher, Khan Manka, Louis Castle, Manka Bros., Mark Stein, Michael Eisner, Michael Schwerdtman, Michael Zeisser, Nikki Finke, Notional, On Medea, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Peter Chernin, Phillippe Dauman, Richard F. Zannino, Rick Finkelstein, Ricky Van Veen, Ron Meyer, Rupert Murdoch, Scott Garell, Scott Savitz, Shana Fisher, Sharon Waxman, Stacey Snider, Steve Burke, Steve Jobs, Steven Spielberg, Sumner Redstone, Terry Semel, Thomas J. McInerney, Tina Brown, Tony DiSanto, Victor KaufmanKhan Manka, Jr. – Chairman & CEO – Manka Bros. Studios – The World’s Largest Media Company

P.S. Vicky, when you read this, have Rupert call me about his Book Club Meeting. I may need more time to finish the book.

 

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