OnMedea – Page 4 – Chopping Up Truth In Media Since 2009

April 9, 2013April 9, 2013

Aereo Will Fail

Make no mistake – there is no chance Aereo will survive longer than two or three years. That’s a best-case scenario.

Broadcast Networks are dying (it’s true) and will be dead in their current form within five years.

In five years, who is going to pay $8 a month for nothing?

Where are all those little antennas going to go once Broadcast Networks cease to exist?

What sort of business launches with this sort of insane hype that, at most, will only exist for five years?

A Barry Diller company, of course.

The only useful purpose Aereo has is that it will play a part in hastening the inevitable demise of Broadcast Networks.

That’s something, I guess.

I wrote a couple of years ago that Broadcast Networks were in denial (BROADCAST NETWORKS: ON DEATH AND DYING – April 1, 2011). That the executives were longing for the old days of The Big Five.

Now they’re just trying to survive at any cost.

New shows aren’t working. The upfronts next month will be terrible (regardless of what the networks will actually say in their trumped up press releases and over-the-top presentations).

But things aren’t completely dire.

Chase Carey has the right idea but he shouldn’t say that he’ll make FOX a cable channel as a threat to Aereo. He should make FOX a cable channel because it would be a good business decision. It’s really the ONLY business decision.

It is time for Broadcast Networks to accept that the world has changed. “The Mary Tyler Moore Show” is no longer the number one show. And new shows like “How To Live With Your Parents (For The Rest Of Your Life)” will not save you now.

Basic cable and becoming just another button on the infinite media grid of the future is the only chance ABC, CBS, MBS, NBC and FOX have to survive.

Love him or hate him (most hate him), Barry Diller has, once again, disrupted an industry in desperate need of change.

If he wasn’t so gooey I would be cheering him on.

For $20 million dollars, he is forcing a $50 billion industry to join the 21st century. Now that’s getting a bang for your buck.

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

P.S. – Who knew Barry Diller enjoyed fishing so much? Here’s a great story of a recent fishing trip.

March 5, 2013March 21, 2018

The Pathetic, Sleazy World Of Facebook ‘Likes’

1000Memories, Accel Partners, Amish Jani, Andrew Hyde, Andrew Mason, Andy Sack, Ashton Kutcher, Aydin Senkut, Ben Silverman, Bin 38, Bob Davis, Bob Iger, Brad Feld, Brian Kempner, Chris Hughes, Christopher Steiner, Dan Nova, Daniel Gaisin, Danielle Hootnick, Dave McClure, David Brown, David Cohen, David Kirkpatrick, Demi Moore, Demo Day, Diego Gutierrez, Dustin Moskovitz, Edmond Yue, Eduardo Saverin, Emmett Shear, Eric Lefkofsky, Fergal Mullen, FirstMark Capital, Founders At Work, Francis Duong, Gaurav Tewari, Gerald Levin, Gerald Poch, Greg McAdoo, Greylock Partners, Harjeet Taggar, HBO, Highland Capital Partners, Irena Goldenberg, Jared Polis, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jessica Livingston, Jessica Mah, Jill Kennedy, Joanna Shields, John Hsin, John Palfrey, Jon Miller, Jr., Justin Kan, Justin.tv, Khan Manka, Larry Wilson, Laurence Albukerk, Lawrence Lenihan, Li Ka-shing, Loopt, Manish Patel, Manka Bros., Mark Cuban, Mark Zuckerberg, Matt Cohler, Matt Nichols, Michael Arrington, Michael Gaiss, MySpace, Nick Marsh, Nicolas Carlson, OnMedea, Owen Van Natta, Paul Buchheit, Paul Cianciolo, Paul Graham, Peter Bell, Peter Thiel, Reddit, Richard de Silva, Richard Heitzman, Rick Heitzmann, Robert Morris, Ron Conway, Rudy Adler, Rupert Murdoch, Sand Hill Road, Scott Shane, Scott Switzer, Sequoia Capital, Sergey Nazarov, Shabbir Dahod, Shawn Broderick, Sheryl Sandberg, Sterling Phillips, Sumner Redstone, Tapzilla, TechCrunch, TechStars, TextPayMe, Toy Story 3, Trevor Blackwell, Y Combinator, google, Eric Schmidt, Tina Brown, The Daily Beast, Barry Diller, Dan Lyons, Google Smear campaign, Burson-Marsteller, Chris Soghoian, Jim Goldman, John Mercurio, Mark Pincus, Zynga, Spotify, Facebook Like

Companies who believe that having millions of “Likes” on Facebook is important to their bottom line have it absolutely wrong.

“Liking” Coke or “Liking” The Avengers on Facebook isn’t going to make a person drink more Coke or see The Avengers more times – it just means they’re going to get nothing but product blasts for the rest of their lives.

I would argue it might actually make you drink less Coke because you’re so fucking annoyed with the relentless marketing from the Coca-Cola Company.

Social media would be incredibly valuable if companies would just leave it alone, make products people really like (not “Like”) and stay out of our faces.

People talking with each other (real people) and texting and emailing and chatting, etc. is the greatest marketing tool ever invented (and it wasn’t actually invented by anyone – save God). And companies are figuring out new and clever ways to fuck that up.

If you mention in your status that you are running out to Starbucks – there is really good chance your Picture and Status Update will appear in one of your friends News Feed as ads.

So, you are now, unwittingly, a Corporate Shill for Starbucks. Most people don’t like to be Corporate Shills. The term “Corporate Shill” is not a term of endearment. It makes your real friends hate you just a little bit more than they did before you pushed a product on them.

I did a little experiment over the past month. I decided to accept everyone who requested to be my friend on Facebook – http://www.facebook.com/jill.kennedy.5095

I had my own little circle of work colleagues and college friends (around 30) – but decided to accept all comers in the hope that I could expand the number of “Likes” on my newly-created Company page – http://www.facebook.com/MankaBros

So I accepted and sort of went begging for “Likes” as so many people do. “If you ‘Like’ my page I’ll like your ebook or Erotic Blacklight Art Page in return…'” etc. etc. etc.

This was an eye-opening and humiliating experience – I now have 768 Friends (and counting) and not many “Likes.”

But, surprise, suddenly there was pornography in my News Feed.

There was every kind of racist Poke imaginable. Scary sexually advances. (And, to be fair, a few genuinely nice people.)

But, in general, a stunning display of what’s really out there.

Not pretty.

Are these the people Coke wants to “Like” them?

The marketing world’s latest buzz phrase is “Big Data” – gathering everybody’s information. Seriously, there are people out there whose information should never be shared except with some type of law enforcement.

Personally, I can only speak for big media companies (and myself), but I can imagine it applies to every company (and person) out there – be careful what you wish for when you start your social media campaigns because once people “Like” you, they never leave you alone.

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

P.S. – “LIKE” ME ON FACEBOOK!” – http://www.facebook.com/onmedea

February 27, 2013February 27, 2013

Stuck Between Old and New Media

Hollywood is stuck.

New York is stuck.

Silicon Valley is stuck.

No one can really do anything too exciting because old media is still hanging around – refusing to give up the crown.

Don’t get me wrong – OLD MEDIA IS DYING – but they’re not dead yet.

DVDs are dying – but they’re not dead yet.

We can assume that digital downloads and streaming will be the format of choice in the future – but we don’t know how it will all be quantified. Will people buy digital movies and store them in the cloud using UltraViolet and iTunes or just rent from Redbox and subscribe to Netflix?

Broadcast Networks ARE dying – but they’re not dead yet.

Will YouTube become a go to destination for entertainment on par with broadcast and cable channels? OK, that’s easy – YES – and soon.

Will Netflix realize its dream and become another HBO? Probably not. Just because “House of Cards” sort of works doesn’t mean the next five or ten shows will.

Printed books are dying – but they’re not dead yet. Will eBooks be enough to sustain an entire industry? (And Gay Moroccan Poetry definitely isn’t going to turn things around.)

Magazines are dying – YEP, they’re pretty much dead. And the online future of magazines isn’t bright at all.

Same with printed newspapers. And newspapers online will not be able to cover the costs at their current levels – so look for further contraction of that industry.

Theatrical Distribution of movies and events is most likely here to stay when many thought a couple of years ago that the format would die (though 3D WILL die).

Even Facebook and LinkedIn feel like old school media companies that are wearing out their welcome. They’ll eventually go out of business. In the meantime, they’ll just stick around and be as boring as ever.

How crazy is it that the Music Industry almost seems relatively healthy (after a decade of torture and pain)? As horrible as was, at least they’ve made the transition to digital – and now, though smaller, they’re actually growing again. But for how long? Nobody knows.

It’s limbo.

We can’t see what the future will be because the past won’t go away.

Too many unanswered questions.

With everything so completely up in the air, it’s a terrible time to be in the media business.

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

February 8, 2013February 12, 2013

NBC Is Saved!

OK – I know NBC has been on a really bad run lately – but things are definitely looking up!

I just received an email alert from the Hollywood Reporter announcing that Christina Ricci has agreed to star in…

wait for it…

GIRLFRIEND IN A COMA

After 87 years, NBC finally has a show to be proud of.

Bob Greenblatt has proven his brilliance and I can’t to hear what’s next:

Could it be – “My Boyfriend’s Got A Nail In His Head”?

“Dad’s Bleeding From The Ass… Again”

“What’s That Thing On Molly’s Face?”

The possibilities are endless.

All joking aside… Here’s who is really in a coma:

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

January 17, 2013

Manti Te’o and the End of Truth

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, OnMedea, Jill Kennedy, Khan Manka, Manti Te'o, Brian Te'o, Lennay Kekua, Annette Santiago, Pete Thamel, Lennay Marie Kekua, Gene Wojchiechowski, Charlie Rose, Ronaiah Tuiasosopo, Fred Matua, Charlie Rose, Oasis Christian Church, U'ilani Rae Kekua

First, an acknowledgement:

This is a quote by Tom Brokow right after the first Gulf War started in 1991 and CNN had the only reporters on the ground during the initial bombing of Bagdad: “CNN used to be called the little network that could. It’s no longer a little network.”

This can now be said of Deadspin.com. “Deadspin.com used to be the schlocky little sports blog that could. It’s no longer a little blog (though still somewhat schlocky).”

As of this writing, the Manti Te’o story has been read over 3,000,000 times on the site – (read it here, it’s awesome). To put it in context, a story about the 34 Hostages killed in Algeria (including Americans) has been read 27,000 times on Gawker (the parent of Deadspin.com).

So congratulations to everyone at Deadspin.com. You win. The rest of sports media loses.

The reporters at Deadspin.com (Timothy Burke and Jack Dickey) said they got an anonymous tip that there was something fishy (my word) about the Manti Te’o girlfriend story. They did an initial Google search and found no stories about his supposed girlfriend (Lennay Kekua) except those that mentioned Manti Te’o. It was as though she only existed through her involvement with Manti Te’o. No other connection or mention. That is fishy.

But there could have been other mentions.

If those who masterminded the hoax had wanted to create old media stories about her and old websites and old social media profiles, etc., they could have. It is so easy to create a false persona that everyone believes is real… they might as well be real.

They could have created a very rich, detailed, full life of Lennay Kekua that would fool everyone. People would say stuff like “oh, good for her,” “oh, I didn’t know that about her,” etc. And they would believe it because they don’t care if she’s real or not. She’s on the internet – so she’s real. End of story.

Everything that everyone says as a fake persona on the internet is true because who is going to investigate it? There aren’t enough Deadspin.coms in the world to look into the millions and millions of fake people out there.

If a fake person says on Facebook “I am eating a hamburger” – who’s going to believe it’s not true. It’s not possible, of course, because fake people can’t eat. But no one is going to question it. Because no one cares.

Everything Deadspin.com writes on the internet is as true as everything the New York Times writes. We may not agree with what they write but we don’t question the validity – there just isn’t enough time (unless it’s The Onion – and who is to say that stuff’s not true).

Deadspin.com’s story of Manti Te’o was actually questioned immediately by “the established media” because Deadspin.com didn’t have a strong journalism reputation (to say the least) and most people never heard of it.

But now, they are a go to source for breaking sports journalism – and, going forward, most won’t question what they write next.

Maybe the writers at Deadspin.com aren’t real either – no one seems to be inquiring about that – but it would be really easy to create “journalist characters” who act like they’re breaking real news stories until one day they actually do break real news and become “legitimate.”

Who is Timothy Burke and Jack Dickey? Sounds fishy to me. Extending it to television, who believes Charlie Rose is real? He looks like he’s been dead for years.

The internet is a fantasy world where people can be happily anonymous or happily real. It’s all the same.

It’s a massively multi-player online role-playing game (MMOPG) that we all play every day of our lives.

And no matter how many times Facebook asked for a phone number or a driver’s license or passport for users on their site to make sure only real people are there, the truth is, 20 or 30% of people there are not real. And never will be real and most of us never question it because we want the fantasy to be reality. We want our dogs to have Twitter accounts. We want to interact with “Shakespeare.”

It looks to me like Manti Te’o got caught up in that world and really fucked up his life in the “real world.”

Lennay Kekua had to die because someone would have eventually wanted to meet her OFFLINE – and that is where there is still some truth in the world.

Online, there is no truth and there never will be – and that’s the way we like it.

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

December 18, 2012December 23, 2012

2013: Endgame For Moguls

Old Hollywood just got another year older and closer to death.

In fact, it’s getting harder and harder for Old Hollywood to get out of bed in the morning.

Food doesn’t taste as good. Hangovers are a daily occurrence.

In short, Old Hollywood is not well.

And with each passing year, as movie studios and broadcast networks become increasingly irrelevant, my thoughts are about real estate.

What is going to happen to all those soundstages and sprawling campuses scattered around Los Angeles and the world when no one needs them anymore?

Soundstages built in the early 20th century by visionaries from Poland, Hungary, New York and Kansas City.

Clearly they won’t be used as much in the future as production costs for high quality content continue to drop and new visionary kids from everywhere else in the world are able to compete head-to-head with the best Hollywood writers and directors.

Perhaps they will be torn down and apartments built. But apartments in those areas are for young writers and actors who move to L.A. to chase that Hollywood dream.

They don’t have to move here anymore.

Perhaps one studio will be turned into a museum of what Hollywood used to look like.

It’s a lot of land, man, and the shopping mall business isn’t so good these days either.

It’s going to be a real problem one day.

As I said earlier this year, YouTube’s Original Content Strategy Is Working and that should put every remaining media mogul on high alert.

The 1975 when millions of families crowded the television on a SATURDAY NIGHT to watch one of the three networks is over.

Now, in all likelihood, a family of five is watching or doing five different things on a Saturday night (and the rest of the week for that matter).

And this has been true for a few years.

In 2013, another profound and symbolic pillar will crumble in the epic story of the Decline and Fall of the Hollywood Empire.

The Mogul.

2013 will see most of the remaining media moguls pathetically fade away from relevance with little fanfare. And that’s sad.

WHO IS LEAVING?

1. Sumner Redstone – Many would say he has already left (despite his attempt to look youthful with that shocking sprayed on orange hair). Sumner has desperately clung to power just as he clung to the side of the hotel ledge years ago to survive a fire. Sumner will be the first to leave in 2013 either by death or senility (though many would argue he has been dead and senile for the past 25 years).

2. Rupert Murdoch – Enough with this guy and his phone tapping and continued interest in buying newspapers. He’s done. There is an outside chance the family empire could continue if Rupert appointed his daughter Elisabeth to the top job (I would buy the stock if that happened). But his continue insistence on giving his idiot sons top jobs will, no doubt, destroy all that he spent his entire life building.

3. Barry Diller – Barry Diller is just tired of it all. Does anyone really think he is excited about owning Ben Silverman’s ridiculous company or CollegeHumor or The Daily Beast or Zwinky or Sports Pickle? Sail away, Barry. The media world no longer needs you. You had a good run. Now go get drunk.

4. Jeffrey Katzenberg – The last mogul standing of DreamWorks SKG (one of the last valiant attempts made to build a true media empire like the old days), Katzenberg will sell DreamWorks Animation for a few billion less than he would have hoped and leave the Hollywood scene. He will go on to become equally annoying in the Art Collection scene.

CLINGING TO POWER

1. The Weinstein Brothers (Harvey and Bob) – Despite several high profile movies (Silver Linings Playbook, The Master, Django Unchained) that will probably win quite a few awards this season, the Weinsteins are working with a business model from 1985. Attempted diversification into TV, publishing and interactive nearly cost them everything a few years ago. What they know is how to buy, market and get Awards for small to medium sized movies. And we know where that business is headed.

2. Ryan Kavanaugh – Calling him a mogul is generous (to say the least). Attempted mogul more like it. For some reason people keep giving him money. Hopefully, that stops soon and he is forced to land his helicopter not in Beverly Hills but somewhere out in Palmdale where he can live out his existence with a few other characters from “Day of the Locust.”

WHO IS STAYING?

Khan Manka, Jr. – Despite horrible performances year-over-year in both film and television (and publishing and music, etc.), Khan Manka, Jr. remains firmly at the top of the world’s largest media company. Even though he publicly states how much he hates the job and would rather be at his house in the Seychelles, he continues to stay year-after-year and I don’t see that changing anytime in the near or far future.

2. Thomas Tull (Legendary) – Even though Legendary is more of a high-end financing and production outfit than a media empire, Tull is eyeing much larger things and has the money to do it. How far he actually takes the media empire concept is the question. Is Legendary a new DreamWorks or actually something that will be successful?

3. Hed family of Rovio (Angry Birds) is the closest thing we have these days to a new generation media mogul (and I wish Raj, Mikael and Niklas Hed nothing but the best. DON’T SELL – BUILD!). Like Walt Disney and George Lucas before them, the Heds have a real chance to build an empire from a single group of characters. Their passion and ambition is infectious and they see enormous potential while others laugh in their face. The perfect scenario for global conquest.

—————–

So, 2013, endgame for moguls.

The big ones will fall.

Some smaller ones may rise (on a lower scale).

It will never be the same.

Where is Ted Turner when you really need him?

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

P.S. – John Malone and Brian Roberts may be considered moguls in today’s terms. I just find them too boring to write about.

December 17, 2012December 17, 2012

Seriously, Time.com? Have you moved on?

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Jill Kennedy, OnMedea, Andrew Katz, time.com, newtown massacre

Do we really need to start the “How-will-Newtown-recover-from-this-horrific-tragedy” stories?

It happened 3 days ago! The funerals have just started.

The victims families and the people of Newtown (make that the world) are going through an unbearable moment of profound grief.

Give them some time to breathe before you move on to the next cycle of the story.

It’s Christmas – please be human.

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

P.S. – In other news, Fox News cut off Connecticut governor Dan Malloy’s press conference about the Newtown massacre after the topic turned to gun control.

November 9, 2012November 9, 2012

Did David Petraeus Have An Affair or “An Affair”?

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Manka Bros. Studios, The World's Largest Media Company, Newt Gingrich, Callista Gingrich, Jackie Battley, Marianne Ginther, Jeff Weiner, Ben Silverman, Rob Johnson, Sonny Perdue, Rick Tyler, Hermain Cain, Mitt Romney, Rick Perry, Michele Bachman, Rick Santorum, Ron Paul, Joseph Smith, Thomas S. Monson, Elder Cook, Elder Nelson, Elder Holland, Elder Perry, Elder Bednar, George Romney, Ann Romney, Brigham Young, Sean Hannity, Bob Dole, Ann Coulter, James Grisham, Eric Stanger, Allen & Company retreat, Anne Mulcahy, Ari Emanuel, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Bobby Kotick, Carol Bartz, Charlie Rose, Cory Booker, DumbDumb, Electus, Eric Schmidt, Erin Burnett, Gina Bianchini, Harvey Weinstein, Herb Allen, Herb Allen Sun Valley Conference, Herbert Allen, Jean-Bernard Levy, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jerry Yang, John Donahue, Ken Auletta, Khan Manka, Lachlan Murdoch, Lady Gaga, Leslie Moonves, Lionel Barber, Lloyd Grohl, Manka Bros., Marc Andreessen, Marissa Mayer, Mark Pincus, Mark Zuckerberg, Martin Sorrell, Mathias Dopfner, Mike Bloomberg, Niall FitzGerald, Peter Chernin, Phillippe Dauman, Reid Hoffman, Richard Parsons, Ricky Van Veen, Rob Wiesenthal, Robert L. Johnson, Ron Meyer, Rupert Murdoch, Sergey Brin, Sheryl Sandberg, Steve Jobs, Sun Valley Retreat, Sun Valley Retreat 2010, Terry Semel, Tom Freston, Tom Friedman, Ursula Burns, Vivi Nevo, Warren Buffett, World's Largest Media Company, Rupert Murdoch, Jose Maria Aznar, natalie Bancroft, Peter Barnes, Chase Carey, Kenneth Cowley, David DeVoe, Viet Dinh, Rod Eddington, Joel Klein, Andrew S.B. Knight, James Murdoch, Lachlan Murdoch, Thomas Perkins, Arthur Siskind, John Thornton, Stanley Shuman, Rebekah Brooks, Les Hinton, Teri Everett, jack Horner, Julie Henderson, Reed Nolte, Roger Ailes, Janet Nova, John Nallen, Beryl Cook, Michael Regan, Genie Gavenchak, Brian Lewis, Irena Briganti, Dan Berger, Rosabel Tao, Steven Rubenstein, Suzanne Halpin, Elisabeth Murdoch , David Petraeus, CIA Director quits after affair

Seriously, Fox News?

Seriously, Drudge Report (see headline below)?

Seriously, Rupert Murdoch (Tweeted: Petraeus resignation. Timing, everything suspicious)

So General Petraeus had “an affair” (meaning you don’t believe he had an affair) which caused him to leave the CIA in disgrace?

As much as you would like it to happen, something does not become a scandal before the facts are known – not that that has ever stopped you before.

What IS a scandal is that Fox News and Drudge Report keep trying to create scandals that bring down the President.

I’m sorry but using quote marks to illustrate your non-belief of the story before the facts come out is journalism at its crappiest.

Newsflash to Fox News and company – Your Polls Were Wrong, Barack Obama Is President – suck it up, stop whining and move on.

Here are some of the headlines from high profile news sources after today’s surprising announcement that David Petraeus has resigned as CIA Director following an admission to an extramarital affair:

Yes, Fox News, you might be onto something – David Petraeus is obviously saying he cheated on his wife of 37 years and is throwing his long career and future down the toilet just to cover up for the President’s mistakes in Benghazi.

Get Mitt Romney and Karl Rove on the phone – tell them there is still chance! Ohio is back in play!

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

October 15, 2012October 15, 2012

NICKMOM – R.I.P.

Adam Townsend, Alan Ruck, Amy Baer, Angeline Straka, Anthony Ambrosio, Ari Emanuel, Arnold Kopelson, Brendan Fraser, Bruce S. Gordon, Bruce Tobey, Carl Folta, Carla Santos Shamberg, CBS Films, Charlie Gifford, Chase Carey, David Andelman, David Poltrack, Debbie Miller, DebManka Bros., Diego Velazquez, Doug Morris, Fred Salerno, Gary Countryman, Geeta Anand, Gil Schwartz, Harrison Ford, Harvey Weinstein, Jared Harris, Jeff Weiner, Jill Kennedy, Jordana Glick-Franzheim, Joseph A. Califano, Joseph Ianniello, Josh Rothstein, Jr., Keri Russell, Khan Manka, Leonard Goldberg, Les Moonves, Linda Griego, Louis Briskman, Manka Bros., Martin Franks, Meredith Droeger, Michael Shamberg, Nan Morales, News Corporation, OnMedea, Patrick Bauchau, Phillippe Dauman, Reid Sullivan, Richard Jones, Rik Toulon, Rob Friedman, Robert Nelson Jacobs, Rupert Murdoch, Sam Hall, Shari Redstone, Stacey Sher, Steven Friedlander, Summit Entertainment, Sumner Redstone, Terry Semel, The Weinstein Company, Thomas Dooley, Tom Vaughan, Viacom, Wade Davis, William S. Cohen, CBS Films is dead

It’s very possible Nickmom will set the record for the world’s shortest running network.

There is no other option for this laughable disgrace than a total cancellation.

In fact, there are only three absolute certainties in this life:

1) The sun will rise in the east;

2) July 4th will occur every year on… July 4th; and

3) Nickmom will be shut down.

Such a complete creative and business abomination cannot possibly survive.

The tombstone graphic here may be a bit premature but it’s guaranteed to be accurate.

So, for the readers who have no idea what I’m talking about – what is this Nickmom that is almost universally hated by parents (mostly Moms)?

Nickmom is a primetime adult-skewing programming block (airing on the same channel as Nick Junior) designed for exhausted moms looking for a laugh or some edgier entertainment after the kids go to bed.

What’s wrong with that, Jill?

What do you have against exhausted moms looking for a laugh?

Absolutely nothing. I’m a proud exhausted mom myself who loves HBO.

But when you make a corporate decision to put on a programming block of comedians talking about sex and cocktails, shows called “Moms Night Out,” etc. etc. right after “Dora The Explorer” signs off, you clearly do not understand how the media landscape works.

Nickmom starts airing at 4pm in Hawaii for God’s sake! And 7PM in California (which is definitely before my daughter’s bedtime).

The biggest problem I have with Nickmom is not a content issue (though it’s really awful – painful to watch). The biggest problem I have with Nickmom is that it is a stupid idea badly executed.

And the ratings are bearing that out as noted by the Wall Street Journal (this is becoming a national story) – 74% decline in two weeks.

There is also a website that has been launched by angry parents – CancelNickMom.com.

Hey Viacom – are you hearing any of this?

People hate it. Drop it. Bring back “Bubble Guppies!”

I always wonder how these epic fails in business happen. This one is stunning.

Nickmom is an idea obviously hatched by out-of-touch corporate executives who think whatever they throw up on the screen (‘throw up’ being key words) will be gobbled up by the masses. They probably imagined their in-boxs filling up with “Thank yous” from weary, under-entertained moms from around the country.

They probably sat there at lunchtime brain-storming sessions falling off their seats with laughter when the suggestion for a tagline came up… “What about ‘Motherfunny’?” “‘Motherfunny’? Oh, my God, that is fucking hilarious! It sounds like “mother fucker” but it’s actually “motherfunny!”

The room cannot stop laughing for several minutes. The coldcuts, fruit plates and cookie platters just sit there as middle-aged men (and a lucky female or two including the female VP in charge of Nickmom) howl with laughter at how awesome they are.

And then a branding exec chimes in: “But it’s perfect for what we’re trying to accomplish. We’re making mothers laugh.”

Another exec: “And no one needs laughs more than mothers!”

A marketing exec chimes in to make it all relevant: “And ‘motherfunny’ gives it that edge we’re looking for. These aren’t your father’s mothers anymore. Advertisers are going to eat this shit up!”

I’m not going to pound the point anymore and this isn’t a cry from a concerned parent who is worried about the moral fabric of our country – I know how to keep bad stuff away from my daughter, thank you.

But, face it, this is a horrible idea and it needs to killed.

And… it will be. Soon. Guaranteed.

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

October 4, 2012October 4, 2012

Facebook Is Irrelevant

So… Facebook has announced it has passed ONE BILLION USERS.

Sounds like a reason for a huge celebration. What an amazingly awesome global community!

We should all rejoice together because we built it… together!

But unlike the supermarket that rewards its one millionth customer with balloons, gifts and plaques and everyone is so happy for the store, the only reaction to Facebook’s announcement is people commenting “Facebook sucks!” “Are they counting all 10 of my accounts including my dogs?” “I quit Facebook months ago.” etc. etc. etc.

Facebook has a problem and it’s one that it will not overcome.

Facebook is irrelevant.

Nobody cares about it anymore. There are no balloons, no cheers, no tears, just… meh.

Sure, people use it to post photos of drinking, of babies and bike riding for charity but we, the connected world, have moved past that boring old shit that used to be slightly cool.

I’m sure to that comment Facebook would say – “No, no, wait, you’re wrong, Jill – people also post funny sayings and signs that they find amusing.”

Indeed, they’re right. How am I supposed to know I should “have an awesome day” if I didn’t see it posted in the morning by one of my “friends”?

In the past, I have written that Facebook Is Worthless, Overvalued, and Must Be Stopped – but now, I just don’t care about it anymore.

I have become Facebook indifferent – it means absolutely nothing to me.

That’s not the way it was supposed to be.

The swagger and smirking of the executives and investors before the IPO made it seem like this was a company like no other on the planet – a truly game changing experience that would actually… change the world.

The world did not change because of Facebook.

We all have the same problems that generations before us had. Politicians still use the same rhetoric. American flags are still burned at overseas Embassies. Famine and hurricanes still occur.

The only positive thing Facebook ever did was allow us to see what our high school and college friends look like today. It doesn’t mean we’re going to have dinner with them or have an actual conversation. But we do get to see if they got fat. That’s it and I suppose that’s worth something.

During the first Presidential Debate between President Obama and Mitt Romney the social media winner of the night was… Twitter.

Nearly all the media outlets and pundits were talking about what happened on Twitter during the debates. Not Facebook. Not LinkedIn. Not Google Plus.

To be serious, I have no idea how they add their numbers to conclude that one billion people are on Facebook.

Perhaps they should say one billion accounts have been set by about 200 million people? We all know people who have multiple accounts (almost everyone) – accounts for dogs, literary characters and just plain fake names that we all use to hide from our “friends” and supposedly Facebook is cracking down on this practice. (By the way, you can “friend” me here.)

And that’s another reason the site sucks – who wants to be completely real on Facebook?

We’re not trying to get a job. We’re not running for office. We’re just trying to spend a few minutes out of our day looking at drunken babies and trying not to be monetized.

So congratulations, Facebook on one billion users – one billion bored, indifferent, and dissatisfied users.

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

P.S. – I just thought of a way Facebook could be relevant… they could buy Twitter.