Due to the uncertainty of the fiscal cliff, the fact that my taxes are going up, the shitty year Manka Bros. has had at the box office, the crappy television shows that were produced for our horrible television networks, declining music sales and the frightening losses in our Publishing Group, I have decided to cancel the 2012 Manka Bros. Employee Holiday Party that was to be held at the Nokia Theater and the other surrounding L.A. Live venues and restaurants.
I have requested L.A. Live management to return our substantial deposit.
I know many of you were looking forward to seeing One Direction, Lady Antebellum and Seamus (who also must return their deposits). Too bad.
If you are better at your jobs next year, maybe we’ll try something like this again. (However, if one of the overpaid executives at the studio would like to pay for it out of his or her own pocket, then I won’t stop you – in fact, I’ll even come and drink all the $100 shots of tequila I can handle).
But this being the season of giving, I don’t want you to get absolutely nothing from your employer for the Holidays – so for the next week, the Cafeteria is offering 10% off one slice of pizza.
Have a drunk but safe Holiday season and let’s make 2013 a year that doesn’t suck.
Khan Manka, Jr. – Chairman & CEO – Manka Bros. Studios – The World’s Largest Media Company