The One Percent Are More Like Jesus

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Thomas Perkins, 1%, Occupy Movement, One Percent, JesusIn deference to my acquaintance Thomas Perkins [see left] (I won’t call him a friend – which at this point would be like calling Stalin your “squash partner”), I must disagree with his claim that the richest 1% in the world are basically being treated by the lowest 99% like the Jews were treated by the Nazis.

This is insane because most of us (the 1%) have been treated fairly by the world (we are billionaires, after all).

Granted most people under me (and my pay bracket) suck at their jobs and cause me great distress, but I still manage to live a decent life – especially when I am at my house in the Seychelles. We must always remember, if they were better at their jobs, they would be richer – like us.

That’s where our great compassion comes in. And that is what makes us great.

Which is why I would argue that the 1% in the world today are treated more like Jesus was treated (by Jews, Romans and anyone else afraid of change).

Imagine 2,000 years ago, and the richest one percent (Jesus) is trying to tell the world that if the rich were allowed to keep more of their money, the poor would (in effect) get more of that money because the rich would then spend it on little trinkets outside of the temples and get more massages and things.

If I was Jesus, and went up on Mount Olive (or wherever the fuck was) and gave a sermon, I would tell the rabble that, you know, they have to be patient and they have to work hard and build companies and wealth for your shareholders and that would create wealth for everyone else in their huts (or wherever the fuck they live).

This is what Tommy P (as we informally used to call Thomas Perkins before he was a racist outcast) needs to understand.

The 99% want to crucify us 1% (like Jesus, it’s true) – but we will rise again (at Easter or Passover or some such shit) and rule the world and earn billions and be loved because that’s what Jesus did.

Adam Fogelson, Alan Spoon, Alexander von Furstenberg, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Arthur Martinez, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Brad Grey, Brian Roberts, Bryan Lourd, Chase Carey, Craig Smith, David Geffen, David Rosenblatt, Donald R. Keough, Donna Langley, Edgard Bronfman, Electus, Ezra Kucharz, fairy tale movies, Graham Stanton, Greg Blatt, Greg Morrow, Greg Stevens, Gregg Winiarski, Hans Woolley, Harry Sloan, Hey Diddle Diddle, Jason Stewart, Jay Herratti, Jeff Sagansky, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Jill Kennedy, Joanne Hawkins, Joey Levin, John C. Malone, John Ferriter, John Foley, John Malone, Josh Abramson, Jr., Kara Swisher, Khan Manka, Louis Castle, Manka Bros., Mark Stein, Michael Eisner, Michael Schwerdtman, Michael Zeisser, Nikki Finke, Notional, On Medea, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Peter Chernin, Phillippe Dauman, Richard F. Zannino, Rick Finkelstein, Ricky Van Veen, Ron Meyer, Rupert Murdoch, Scott Garell, Scott Savitz, Shana Fisher, Sharon Waxman, Stacey Snider, Steve Burke, Steve Jobs, Steven Spielberg, Sumner Redstone, Terry Semel, Thomas J. McInerney, Tina Brown, Tony DiSanto, Victor KaufmanKhan Manka, Jr. – Chairman & CEO – Manka Bros. StudiosThe World’s Largest Media Company


  1. Boykin · January 27, 2014

    I am envious of the wealthy because of….my conscience. Sometimes I wish mine didn’t bother me so much. I feel upset that poor people, seniors and kids particularly, are so vulnerable to the whims of public policy that are often manipulated by wealthy corporations and individuals (like the Koch brothers). Seems like a lot of wealthy folks don’t have much of a social conscience or concern beyond their own needs, wants, and conveniences.

  2. Justice · January 27, 2014

    I won’t address your words, everyone already has laughed at you enough for them. What I will address is how you and the other soon to be gone 1%ers have done to yourself and deserve everything that is swiftly coming your way.

    You forgot, Khan. You just forgot. You forgot that a successful business has a duty, first and foremost, to the country it is in and the society of that country. Profit is not the first concern and the only concern.

    You forgot, Khan. To look around your business bases of operations, see the poor neighborhood there and say ” I am going to put a factory there and make sure those folks have a good paying job to lift them out of their poverty. I am going to expand the schools in that area and gear them towards having the good and proper education to not only work for me but to grow the seeds of higher thinking”.

    You forgot, Khan. That in helping your country with your business, providing living wages for people to work and raise a family with that they themselves would be paying taxes and supporting social programs, infrastructure builds and rebuilds, arts, music. Everything that makes a society healthy a robust and growing entity.

    So much more that you forgot, Khan.

    No Khan. You… you only thought of profit for yourself and stockholders. As an educated man, you know.. or should know history and where that path leads. You did not help society and a way of life, you greedily only thought of yourself.

    Yes Khan. You, and those like you, WILL probably become the hunted. Your body guards, your panic rooms, etc. will be of no avail. Your forgetfulness has sealed your fate and those of your family, quite likely. And if and when that time comes for you.. remember this:

    You forgot.

    May whatever God you subscribe to have mercy on your soul, if they should see fit.

  3. Paul Adams · January 27, 2014

    It’s simply not true that everyone would be rich if they were better at their jobs, or even if they all did the same job. First, it is mathematical nonsense, like asserting that there exists a largest prime. Second, many highly successful people have been extremely poor (ranging from Jesus to Mozart). Third, some jobs, like Mozilllo’s, Madoff’s and possibly yours, are not worth doing at any price.

  4. JennyB · January 27, 2014

    That photo is creepy. Is that Thomas Perkins face on Jesus body?

  5. Nana P. · January 27, 2014

    This…this is satire, right? Nobody can actually be this obtuse. Not even a wealthy 1%’er could believe this drivel. Please tell me I’m right. Anyone?

    • art police · January 27, 2014

      Yes, Nana, I am pretty sure this is not real.

  6. Nicolas Robinson · January 27, 2014

    It’s scum like you, Mr. Manka Brothers, who help demonize us billionaires by putting out ridiculous press releases comparing us to Jesus! Yes, I am a fellow billionaire — in my heart. I wake up every day and dream about the billions I am going to spend that day, and it does NOT include helping Mr. Bill eradicate blackwater fever from Isandhlwana!

    (Mr. Bill is of course, my good friend and co-finder of Macrosoft, the plush toy manufacturer).

    If you’re going to compare me to ANY celebrity, do not make it Jesus! This alone insults the 4 million Jesuses who live and work in the lands south of the Rio Grande. How do you think THEY like being called billionaires?

    Good. Now that that’s out of the way, could you perhaps send me a voucher to cross your property to get to that lovely beach in front of your home? I specifically wish to visit THAT beach, not the four hundred-million-some-odd OTHER beaches that dot the earth’s surface.

    Thanks you and have a nice day.

    N. John Robinson III
    Robinson Holdings LLCINC (a subsidiary of Time-Whorener)

  7. Timothy Leonard · January 27, 2014

    Maybe completely unrelated but fearing Jesus is a sure way to poverty while selling Jesus is a sure way to wealth! Especially the way that he’s marketed to us minorities!

  8. JFK's Ghost · January 27, 2014

    “If a free society cannot help the many who are poor, it cannot save the few who are rich.”

    • Alan Richards · January 27, 2014

      Stay dead, you and your family caused enough problems when you were alive.

  9. Ami · January 27, 2014

    Mark 10:25

    But Jesus answered again and said to them, “Children, how hard it is to enter the kingdom of God? 25″It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God.”

  10. DDK · January 27, 2014

    If this is all satire, I love it. If not, you suck.

    • Chairman · January 27, 2014

      I’d much rather be loved than suck – so I don’t know what to say.

      • William Orr · January 27, 2014

        Just satand on your mountaintop, pull your foot out of your mouth, bless all of us “little people”, and then remember:


        (or even necessarily minimal intelligence)

  11. Eric · January 27, 2014

    lol I love this site 🙂

    • Hillarity · January 27, 2014

      Ya, genius! Really, I’ve never seen anything like MBS. Brilliant satire. Only funnier are the earnest and outraged replies. Keep it coming Manka Bros. Studios!!!! I laugh out loud. Thank you.

  12. Dude · January 27, 2014

    Dude that pic of Tom Perkins as Jesus IS creepy and a little rough. You’ve got to match the skin tones better.

  13. Alan Richards · January 27, 2014

    Manka is one bitter little dude. Envy is a terrible trait there little buddy, and your anger is typical of petty little liberals.
    “World’s Largest Media Company,” I think Mankas has a little peter problem along with delusion issues.

    • Pimp Daddy · January 27, 2014

      Alan Richards? Is this THE Alan Richards? Bow down, everyone, this dude knows his shit. And he smells his shit and it’s way better smelling than the rest of ours.

      • The Alan Richards · January 27, 2014

        Typical lib, race to the bottom and name call.
        But you are correct PD, I have forgotten more than you know.
        Finish high school, then post here.
        You’re welcome.

  14. If you’re so unbelievably fucking credulous that you can’t tell by the third paragraph that this is satirical, then you should probably take a step back and ask yourself whether your opinion is really worth sharing.

  15. Steve Finnell · January 27, 2014


    Contrary to what men believe, only God can forgive the sins that have been committed against Him. Joseph Smith nor Brigham Young can forgive sins. Catholic priests cannot forgive sins. Lutheran ministers cannot forgive sins. There are no men dead or alive who can forgive the sins that men commit against God.


    Isaiah 43:25 “I, even I, am the one who wipes out your transgressions for My own sake, And I will not remember your sins.


    Micah 7:18 Who is a God like You, who pardons iniquity…

    Only God pardons iniquity. Joesph Smith, Brigham Young, Catholic priests, nor Lutheran ministers have the authority to pardon iniquity.

    Daniel 9:98 To the Lord our God belong compassion and forgiveness, for we have rebelled against Him;

    Mankind has rebelled against God and He alone can grant forgiveness.


    Mark 2:6-11..the scribes…7…He is blaspheming; who can forgive sins but God alone? ….10 But so that you may know that the Son of Man has the authority on earth to forgive sins”—He said to the paralytic, 11 “I say to you, get up, pick up your pallet and go home.”

    The problem with scribes was they did not realize that Jesus was God in the flesh. Joesph Smith, Brigham Young, Catholic priests, Lutheran ministers, nor any other men, are or were, God in the flesh.


    Acts 8:18-22 ….20 But Peter said to him….22 Therefore repent of this wickedness of yours, and pray the Lord that, if possible, the intention of your heart may be forgiven you.

    The apostle Peter did not grant forgiveness to Simon, he told Simon to pray to God for forgiveness. Note, Simon was already a Christian.


    John 20:19-23 ….23 If you forgive the sins of any, their sins have been forgiven them; if you retain the sins of any, they have been retained.”

    Jesus was not giving Peter and the rest of the apostles the power to grant forgiveness of sins to men on an individual bases, Jesus was not ordaining them as priests with that power. Jesus was giving Peter and the apostles the authority to proclaim the terms for forgiveness of sins. Peter and the apostles did just that on the day of Pentecost. (Acts 2:22-41…36 Therefore let the house of Israel know for certain that God has made Him both Lord and Christ—this Jesus whom you crucified. 37…Peter and the rest of the apostles….38 Peter said to them , “Repent, and each of you be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins; and you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit.)

    Peter and the apostles did not forgive sins on the Day of Pentecost nor on any subsequent day. They declare God’s terms for pardon.
    FAITH: John 3:16
    REPENTANCE: Acts 2:38
    CONFESSION: Romans 10:9-10
    WATER BAPTISM: Acts 2:38

    Christians are not asked to confess to Joesph Smith, Brigham Young, Catholic priests, Lutheran ministers, nor any other men, in order to have their sins against God forgiven!

    Christians are to confess their sins to God in order to receive forgiveness. (1 John1:5-9 ….God is light… 9 If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from unrighteousness.)

    1 Timothy 2:5 For there is one God, and one mediator also between men, the man Christ Jesus,

    The only priest standing between men and God is the high priest, Jesus Christ.

    NOTE: Confessing sins and asking God for forgiveness is only available to Christians. Non-Christians must have FAITH, REPENT, CONFESS JESUS AS LORD, BELIEVE IN HIS RESURRECTION AND BE BAPTIZED IN WATER IN ORDER TO THEIR SINS FORGIVEN.


    • Michael Kelly · January 27, 2014

      Very satirical. Very funny. But some people take it seriously, as did the conservatives that loved Colbert. So comical!

  16. Zero 1%er · January 27, 2014

    Hey, Nice Comments. I was looking the www over, trying to see if anyone else viewed Jesus as the true 1%, seems you might a bit.
    Seems you’re also 1%.
    I am 1%.
    I’m wealthy beyond measure and yet, I gave it all away. Vanities, oh Vanities. To be rich and yet have nothing to worry about is the purest form of wealth.
    I’m mensa, and kinda weird, which I think isn’t weird, I think the world is weird, I’m only able to see. I was curious, do you have the extra gifts also… if so, how to you manage, being there’s no one to ever talk to that ubderstands.
    The world thinks 46 is insane.

  17. Michael Kelly · January 27, 2014

    I get your sarcasm and satire. Pretty funny.

  18. Michael Kelly · January 27, 2014

    Of course this is satire. Who doesn’t get that? Other than some crazed conservatives.