I was just made aware by one of my assistants that Jerry Yang (founder and Chief Yahoo! of Yahoo! – whatever the fuck that means) is leaving the company.
I guess the Board of Directors and the Shareholders finally got their way and successfully shoved him out.
As someone who is constantly being told to leave my own company due to poor performance, I can empathize with Jerry.
My only question is, why didn’t they shove him out after he stupidly refused Microsoft’s $32/share offer to buy Yahoo!?
But no matter – I’m not here to shit on his grave and piss on his legacy. I’m here to offer him a job.
Manka Bros. is the world’s largest media company and can offer a decent salary, dental, medical, life and dismemberment insurance package (God forbid you get dismembered sitting at a desk) that rivals all the other studios in Hollywood (except maybe Disney – you get free Disneyland admission when you work there – that’s a $10,000 value… per trip).
So – Jerry – I know you’re reeling right now and probably worried about where your next paycheck is coming from. But worry no more – your next paycheck is coming from Manka Bros.
You can basically pick which area you would like to work in (except in our online group – your track record is pretty spotty there).
I would be happy to replace any of the suck ass senior executives that are currently running the various divisions. They’re all terrible at their jobs (off the record – no, fuck it – ON the record).
Give me a call at my office at your earliest convenience so we can discuss a start date.
FYI, I will be leaving for the Davos World Economic Forum in a couple of days where I will be giving yet another keynote address – so get back to me before then.
Khan Manka, Jr. – Chairman & CEO (& Chief Yahoo!) – Manka Bros. Studios – The World’s Largest Media Company