It seems that Silicon Valley and Wall Street are going ape shit over the fact that Scott Thompson didn’t really go to college or didn’t get a degree in whatever he said he got one in – or whatever.
At Manka Bros., we could care less about that crap and I would like to offer Scott Thompson a job.
For the record, I, Khan Manka, Jr., didn’t go to college and yet, here I am, Chairman & CEO of the World’s Largest Media Company.
Granted, my father, the asshole Harry Manka, was head of the studio until he died and legally forced me into the job after his death when I would have much rather been concentrating on drugs, girls and my band (the under-appreciated ‘King Khan’).
That said, I’ve been doing it successfully for 36 years and I can barely fucking read.
So, Scott Thompson, it’s time for you to leave those tight-assed judgmental blue-bloods in Silicon Valley and come down to Hollywood where the literacy rate is much lower and we actually go out on dates.
Former heads of Yahoo! have been a great recruiting opportunity for us here at Manka Bros., having previously offered jobs to Carol Bartz and Jerry Yang (still waiting to hear).
The job offer to you is similar – you can pretty much pick any area you want to work (except in New Media or Tech – we have a much higher education standard in place for those jobs).
I would suggest either the Theatrical or Television groups – both are sucking up a storm lately and I’ve been looking to replace Robin Rafe and Jay McBee for the past year (off the record).
The only jobs that are not available are mine and Lloyd Grohl.
Everything else is in play.
Let me know as soon as you are fired – we’d like to get you going here in the next couple of weeks. There is a lot of shit to fix.
Khan Manka, Jr. – Chairman & CEO – Manka Bros. Studios – The World’s Largest Media Company