Out Of Prison – Back At Work

Good morning.

As many of you at the studio know (mostly just Senior Management), I have been in a Seychelles maximum security prison for the past two years.

Don’t feel too bad for me, the prison was on the beach and the food was decent (though the king crab was shitty). I was allowed to have my personal chef cook for me after a couple of months because I paid El Presidente a cool eight hundred bucks. The only caveat was my chef – Andres – had to stay with me in prison in a non air conditioned cell next to me.

Seychelles Maximum Security Prison

While Manka Bros. senior management was aware of my imprisonment, most of the rest of the 100,000 global employees were told that I had testicular cancer.

That was not true but I didn’t want to tell the work force (and, especially, the Board of Directors) that I was in jail for tax evasion in my adopted country – The Seychelles.

In my defense, I was not aware taxes had to be paid in The Seychelles. Why, the fuck, would anyone live there unless it was to avoid taxes?!

Anyway, I didn’t have cancer and now I’m back!

So… starting today we’re going to do things A LOT differently.

Here the basic message: THE OLD MOGULS ARE BACK, MOTHERFUCKERS!

Sorry, “new” Hollywood – or whatever anyone under 30 is calling it. Me, Bob Iger, Rupert, Bakish – we’re not going anywhere and we’ll decide what happens in this town. Capisce?

To paraphrase Logan Roy – “WE HAVE YOU BEAT!”

FIRST, THE WGA STRIKE:

Good news, Writers. We are going to settle the strike. I mean, duh, of course we are.

And if I may echo “The Who” – “Meet the new deal… same as the old deal!”

Yep, we’ll settle and you’ll get nothing new or maybe a couple of measly percentage point minimum boosts, and we’ll both figure out how to spin it as a WGA victory. But we know the #Truth – and we know you’ll settle just like it’s 2007.

Sorry. #Truth.

On top of that… we’re going to do things the same way.

We’re putting movies in theaters.

We’re putting TV shows on TV.

We’re making video games and will still sell the majority of them on cartridges.

We’re spending billions on football, baseball, basketball, hockey – because that’s what 60+ year old people want to watch!

So fuck off!

SECOND, AI:

Yeah, we’re keeping that one for ourselves. You’re welcome to use it if it helps the studios but we own this shit and we’ll do with it what we want.

Manka Bros. has been ahead of the A.I. curve for years. You may remember we replaced our CFO David Chang with A.I. about five years ago. This has worked like a charm. I’ve learned that I don’t need a highly-paid human to tell me that our business sucks.

And… I can shoot as many of those machines as I want after hearing bad news and then just plug a new one in once I’ve calmed down. Incredible!

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Herb Allen's Sun Valley Conference 2013, Sun Valley Lodge, Bin Tran, Vin Tran, Lee S Ainslie III, Yousef Al Otaiba, Hans-Holger Albrecht, Paul G Allen, James Anderson, Marc Andreessen, Michael Angelakis, Tim Armstrong, Nikesh Arora, Neil M Ashe, Emilio Azcarraga, Manvinder S Banga, Lionel Barber, Craig R Barrett, Willow Bay, Andreas Bechtolsheim, Marc Benioff, Jeffrey Berg, James Berkus, Michael S Berman, Mark Bertolini, Gary Bettman, Jeff Bewkes, Jeffrey P Bezos, Aneel Bhusri, The Right Honorable Tony Blair, Gregory R Blatt, Anthony H Bloom, Michael R Bloomberg, Steven R Boal, Scott A Bommer, Cory A Booker, Jeffrey H Boyd, Sergey Brin, Glenn Britt, Tom Brokaw, Michael J Brown, Howard G Buffett, Susie Buffett, Warren Buffett, John Burbank, Stephen Burke, Erin Burnett, Ursula Burns, John E Bush, Jeanie Buss, John A Canning Jr., Chase Carey, Wences Casares, Mark Casey, Kenneth Chenault, Peter Chernin, Brian Chesky, Richard Chilton, Chris Christie, Lewis Cime, Adriana Cisneros, Gustavo Cisneros, Vittorio Colao, Timothy Collins, Patrick Collison, Timothy Cook, Anderson Cooper, David Corkins, Delos Cosgrove, Dick Costolo, Cristian Croitoru, Henry Crumpton, Jose Luis Cutrale, Will Danoff, Philippe Dauman, Christopher Davis, Alfonso de Angoitia, John DeGioia, Diego Della Valle, Brian Demain, Andre Desmarais, David DeVoe, Feroz Dewan, William DeWitt, Barry Diller, Daniel Doctoroff, Jonathan Dolgen, John Donahoe, Jack Dorsey, Michael Duke, Mathias Dopfner, David Ebersman, Wesley Edens, Marvin Edwards, Eric Eisner, Michael Eisner, John Elkann, Thomas Evans, Randel Falco, Jose Antonio Fernandez, Michael Ferror, Niall W. A. FitzGerald, Thomas Friedman, Michael Fries, Tommy Frist, Daniel Fulton, Michael Fux, Mala Gaonkar, Whitfield Gardner, William Gates, Melinda Gates, Julius Genachowski, Daniel Gilbert, Thomas Giovine, David Goldberg, Roger Goodell, Bing Gordon, Donald Graham, Brian Grazer, Brad Grey, John Griffin, Andreas Halvorsen, Reed Hastings, General Michael Hayden USAF, James Heavener, John Hendricks, John Henry, John Heyman, Kazuo Hirai, John Hock, Reid Hoffman, Won Pyo Hong, Lisa Hook, Ben Horowitz, Drew Houston, Robert Iger, David Ignatius, Martin Indyk, Phillip Jackson, Eli Jacobs, Paul Jacobs, Robert Johnson, Salar Kamanger, Peter Karmanos, Alexander Karp, Michael Karsch, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Michael Keating, Brian Kelly, Muhtar Kent, Joseph Robert Kerrey, Dara Khosrowshahi, Seth Klaman, Joel Klein, Peter Klein, Philip H Knight, Victor Koo, Robert Kotick, Robert Kraft, Henry Kravis, Ynon Kreiz, Blake Krikorian, Ananda Krishnan, Stan Kroenke, Daniel Lamarre, Michael Larson, Martin Lau, Michael Leavitt, Jay Lee, Eric Lefkofsky, Theordore Leonsis, Max Levchin, David Levin, Phil Libin, Martin Lipton, Bryan Lourd, Kenneth W Lowe, Michael Lowenstein, Dan Lufkin, Dennis P LYnch, Michael Lynton, Maurice Levy, John Malone, Robert Marcus, Morris Mark, Donald Mattrick, Kathleen A McCarragher, General Stanley A McChrystal, Andrew McKenna, General Montgomery C Meigs, Lorenzo Mendoza, Ron Meyer, Roberto Mignone, Hiroshi Mikitani, Bill Miller, Kenneth Miranda, Thomas Monahan, Leslie Moonves, Luis Alberto Moreno, Dan Moskovitz, Craig Mundle, James Murdoch, Rupert Mudoch, Lachlan Murdoch, Nathan Myhrvold, Michael Neidorff, Jonathan M Nelson, Vivi Nevo, Sam Nunn, Michael E O'Hanlon, Daniel J O'Keefe, Don O'Neal, Ronald L Olson, Evan Osnos, CL Butch Otter, Michael Ovitz, Larry Page, Stephen G Pagliuca, Saul Pannell, Mark Papa, William Pappendick, MIchael Pausic, Minxin Pei, Francois-Henry Pinault, Mark Pincus, Laurene Powell, Lawrence F Probst, Rebecca Quick, Thomas Rabe, Jay Rasulo, Jerry Reinsdorf, Danny Rimer, Richard Riordan, Ambassador Charles H Rivkin, Brian Roberts, James Robinson IIi, James Robinson IV, Fernando Rodes Vila, Brian Rogers, Congressman Mike Rogers, Charlie Rose, Daniel Rose, Wilbur L Ross, Haim Saban, Karim Sadjadpour, Sheryl Sandberg, Ricky Sandler, Ted Sarandos, Fayez Sarofim, Nassef Sawiris, Eric Schmidt, John Schneider, Christopher Schroeder, John Scully, Allan Selig, Nicole Seligman, Eric Semler, William Siegel, Herbert Siegel, Ben Silbermann, Christopher Silbermann, Louis Simpson, Eduardo Sirotsky Melzer, Andrew Sorkin, Sir Martin Sorrell, Thomas Staggs, Cristina Stenbeck, David Stern, Michael Stone, Sir Howard Stringer, Robert Swan, Peter Thiel, Mark Thompson, Sebastian Thrun, Thomas Tull, Peter Ueberroth, Joseph Vacanti, Jeffrey Van Harte, Owen Van Natta, Martin Varsavsky, Leftie Vaughn, Michelangelo Volpi, Alexandre Von Furstenberg, Dian von Furstenberg, Casey Wasserman, David Weinberg, Judd Weinberg, Jeff Weiner, Harvey Weinstein, Wallace R Weitz, Robert Werbel, Michael White, Meg Whitman, Jim Wiatt, James Williams, Fred Wilpon, Jeffrey Wilpon, Fred Wilson, David J Winters, Nicholas Woodman, Major General Amos Yadlin, Jerry Yang, Jed York, David Zaslav, Dirk E Ziff, Gianfranco Zoppas, Mark Zuckerberg, Jack Ma, Jeff Bezos, Tony Wible, Marissa Mayer, General Stanley McChrystal, John Kerry, Michael Bloomberg, Hamilton, SVOD service comparison

There’s no turning back and it’s about to get even more disruptive.

Imagine if I need a first draft of a reboot of “Dadbot.” I’m not going to hire Scott Frank for a few million dollars just for a serviceable first draft. ChapGPT is doing the first draft for free and then I will hire some hack to punch it up, add a few jokes that the under ten-year-olds might find amusing and that’s it. It’s a freaking movie about a robot dad raising four human children under the age of twelve. I don’t need Scott Frank for this. I need a machine to pump it out and we make an easy profit. That’s the risk we’re now willing to take.

THIRD, MankaGoNow:

Manka Bros. is going to rebrand MankaGoNow into a more generic service – something that no one is really going to care about but will be too lazy to cancel – like an old dial-up AOL subscription.

The rebranding announcement and new name is coming hopefully in July.

It seems people were confused by “Manka” being in the channel name so we’ll probably go with something like “Go” (Disney owns, though) or “Now” – much less confusing – but new name and brand to come soon.

We paid millions to a branding agency who came up with possibilities for the name such as “GoNow” and “NowGo” – we’re getting close to a final decision.

Oh, yeah, and we’re doing massive layoffs and cost-cutting… details to come.

So… there we are. I’m out of jail, back in Burbank – safely in America – and ready to roll.

Is Hollywood ready?

Khan Manka, Jr., Chairman & CEO – Manka Bros. StudiosThe World’s LARGEST Media Company

Herb Allen’s Sun Valley Conference – 2022 – Day 2 – Shit Storm

This is Day 2 of what the press now regularly call “Herb Allen’s Summer Camp For Moguls.”

I’ve been thinking all day about the term “Shit Storm” (mostly because the all day panels about supply chain and how to lead in a crisis have been… shit.)

We say that term a lot in society but I’ve never really thought about it… literally.

Imagine you’re in a thunder storm – raining, thunder, lightning – but instead of rain… it’s SHIT that’s coming down on you from the sky and it just keeps coming. You are being pounded with shit.

This is what a SHIT STORM is.

And, I imagine, it’s not a pleasant experience.

That’s kind of where we are on Day 2 in Sun Valley.

This week in July on the mogul calendar is meant to be a week where we feel we are all so fucking important that we actually feel good about ourselves and what we have chosen to do with our lives.

The truth is, in Hollywood (as I mentioned in my drunken Day 1 commentary), the moguls in Hollywood are getting older and the moguls in tech seem to be getting younger (sounds like a Matthew McConaughey line from ‘Dazed & Confused’).

This is a problem.

And, as I mentioned last night, the  young executives at Manka Bros. keep leaving for “better jobs” at “better companies.”

Fuck them.

I have to stay to keep the lights on. We’ve been in business for over 100 years and we sure the fuck aren’t shutting down just because… [Manka Bros. lawyer note: “Rest of sentence has been purged from the blog.”]

My daughter, Connie (but on the Board of Directors), is only 14 and probably too young to take over the family firm and my CFO (currently my #2) Barb Gonzalez is a machine in which we use A.I. technology to do her job.

Hollywood is in trouble.

And to top it off, we can’t even make this a decent vacation – free from the worries of the shit storm outside of the shit storm. This was the breakfast this morning – which they called the “Warren Buffett.”

Herb Allen Sun Valley Conference – 2022 – Day 2 – The Warren Buffett

After breakfast, a few moguls ran, a few moguls road bikes, a few moguls played golf, many were walking fast past reporters acting like they were on the phone.

Oh, think twice, it’s just another day for you and me in mogul-dice.

What was lacking… was substance. And if you look at the Manka Bros. Film Library from the past 100 years – you would know Manka Bros. has always been about about substance.

The biggest problem with this conference I’ve seen over the years is that the Hollywood people hang out with Hollywood people, the nerds hang out with nerds, the dorks hang out with dorks. There doesn’t seem to be a brotherhood or sisterhood of billionaires. We’re all in different clubs.

Which brings me back to Trivia Night on Day 1. I teased that if nothing exciting happened on Day 2 – I would write about Day 1 trivia at Tha Drankin’ Hole.

Herb Allen’s Trivia Night – Sun Valley Conference 2022

It did not disappoint (on a shit storm scale):

Barry Diller thought the capital of Arkansas was “Bum Fuck.”

Mark Zuckerberg thought a quart of orange juice cost $50.

Rupert Murdoch thought the current Australian prime minister’s name was “my bitch.”

Jeffrey Katzenberg opined that the battle for freedom in America starts with the Malibu City Council.

On the plus side, almost everyone knew the latest Gulfstream was the Gulfstream 800.

But it all came down to one question and Peter Thiel could have won the whole thing for the “Tech” side when asked the question: “Who won the 2020 U.S. Presidential Election?” Thiel – without pause – said “Donald Trump.”

With that answer, Tech lost to “liberal” Hollywood.

Who knows what Day 3 will bring – but I promise you this, it will be another SHIT STORM.

 

Khan Manka, Jr. – Chairman & CEO – Manka Bros. StudiosThe World’s Largest Media Company

Herb Allen’s Sun Valley Conference – 2022 – Day 1 – The New Guard… Not!

Herb Allen’s Sun Valley Conference – 2021

Herb Allen’s Sun Valley Conference – 2019

Herb Allen’s Sun Valley Conference – 2018

Herb Allen’s Sun Valley Conference – 2017

Herb Allen’s Sun Valley Conference – 2016

Herb Allen’s Sun Valley Conference – 2015

Herb Allen’s Sun Valley Conference – 2014

Herb Allen’s Sun Valley Conference – 2013

Herb Allen’s Sun Valley Conference – 2012

Herb Allen’s Sun Valley Conference – 2011

Herb Allen’s Sun Valley Conference – 2010

Herb Allen’s Sun Valley Conference – 2009

Herb Allen’s Sun Valley Conference – 2008

World’s Largest Media Companies – 2010

Abby Barba, Ada Guerin, Alex Ben Block, Andrew Wallenstein, Andy Forssell, Angela Bromstad, AOL Time Warner, Ari Emanuel, Arthur Block, Ava Seave, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Bob Daly, Bob Iger, Borys Kit, Brian Roberts, Bruce C. Greenwald, Carl DiOrio, Chadwick Ho, Charley Daniels, Comcast, David Carr, David Cohen, David Morgan, Deborah Young, Disney, Dr. Judith Rodin, DreamWorks, Edward Breen, Elizabeth Guider, Emily Johnson, Eric Feng, Eric Mika, Erik Pedersen, Etan Vlessing, Fabio Periera, Fancast, Georg Szalai, Gerald Hassell, Gerry Levin, Gregg Kilday, Hulu, IAC, J. Michael Cook, Jace Hall, Jackie Vuong, James Hibberd, Jason Hall, Jason Kilar, Jay A. Fernandez, Jean-Marie Messier, Jean-Paul Colaco, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Katzenberg, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Honickman, Jeffrey Immelt, Jenna Bordelon, Jill Kennedy, Joe Collins, Johannes Larcher, Jonathan A. Knee, Julian Brodsky, Karen Nicoletti, Kenneth Bacon, Kevin Cassidy, Khan Manka, Kimberly Nordyke, Kirk Honeycutt, Lawrence Salva, Les Moonves, Lesley Goldberg, Manka Bros., Matthew Belloni, Michael Angelakis, Michael Eisner, Michael Sovern, Mike Barnes, Mimi Turner, NBC Universal, Nellie Andreeva, New York Times, News Corp., Noela Hueso, OnMedea, Patrick Frater, Paul Bond, Paul Telegdy, Peter Chernin, Ralf Ludemann, Ralph Roberts, Ray Bennett, Robert Iger, Roger Friedman, Rupert Murdoch, S. Decker Anstrom, Sheldon M. Bonovitz, Stephen Burke, Stephen Galloway, Steve Case, Steven Zeitchik, Stuart Kemp, Sumner Redstone, Ted Turner, Terry Semel, The Curse of the Mogul, The Hollywood Reporter, Time Warner, Todd Cunningham, Tom Fuelling, Viacom, World's Largest Media Company

Abby Barba, Ada Guerin, Alex Ben Block, Andrew Wallenstein, Andy Forssell, Angela Bromstad, AOL Time Warner, Ari Emanuel, Arthur Block, Ava Seave, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Bob Daly, Bob Iger, Borys Kit, Brian Roberts, Bruce C. Greenwald, Carl DiOrio, Chadwick Ho, Charley Daniels, Comcast, David Carr, David Cohen, David Morgan, Deborah Young, Disney, Dr. Judith Rodin, DreamWorks, Edward Breen, Elizabeth Guider, Emily Johnson, Eric Feng, Eric Mika, Erik Pedersen, Etan Vlessing, Fabio Periera, Fancast, Georg Szalai, Gerald Hassell, Gerry Levin, Gregg Kilday, Hulu, IAC, J. Michael Cook, Jace Hall, Jackie Vuong, James Hibberd, Jason Hall, Jason Kilar, Jay A. Fernandez, Jean-Marie Messier, Jean-Paul Colaco, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Katzenberg, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Honickman, Jeffrey Immelt, Jenna Bordelon, Jill Kennedy, Joe Collins, Johannes Larcher, Jonathan A. Knee, Julian Brodsky, Karen Nicoletti, Kenneth Bacon, Kevin Cassidy, Khan Manka, Kimberly Nordyke, Kirk Honeycutt, Lawrence Salva, Les Moonves, Lesley Goldberg, Manka Bros., Matthew Belloni, Michael Angelakis, Michael Eisner, Michael Sovern, Mike Barnes, Mimi Turner, NBC Universal, Nellie Andreeva, New York Times, News Corp., Noela Hueso, OnMedea, Patrick Frater, Paul Bond, Paul Telegdy, Peter Chernin, Ralf Ludemann, Ralph Roberts, Ray Bennett, Robert Iger, Roger Friedman, Rupert Murdoch, S. Decker Anstrom, Sheldon M. Bonovitz, Stephen Burke, Stephen Galloway, Steve Case, Steven Zeitchik, Stuart Kemp, Sumner Redstone, Ted Turner, Terry Semel, The Curse of the Mogul, The Hollywood Reporter, Time Warner, Todd Cunningham, Tom Fuelling, Viacom, World's Largest Media CompanyGood morning.

The brain trust of The Hollywood Reporter has come out with what they say will be the World’s Largest Media Companies after the Comcast NBC Universal deal goes through.  BULLSHIT, I SAY!

THR
has had it in for me ever since I threatened to buy them and shut them down after a scathing and hurtful review of the Manka Bros. film “Freak Accident” appeared in their ‘paper’ a couple of years ago.  So I’m not totally surprised they left Manka Bros. off their chart.  But I am, frankly, shocked that they would throw truth out the window so carelessly over a personal vendetta.  (Maybe that’s naive of me – especially in this town.)

I suppose this is the price I pay for not buying those bullshit, complete waste of money “For Your Consideration” ads.

Fine, Eric Mika (Publisher – The Hollywood Reporter).  You live by your ethical standards and I’ll live by mine.

Abby Barba, Ada Guerin, Alex Ben Block, Andrew Wallenstein, Andy Forssell, Angela Bromstad, AOL Time Warner, Ari Emanuel, Arthur Block, Ava Seave, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Bob Daly, Bob Iger, Borys Kit, Brian Roberts, Bruce C. Greenwald, Carl DiOrio, Chadwick Ho, Charley Daniels, Comcast, David Carr, David Cohen, David Morgan, Deborah Young, Disney, Dr. Judith Rodin, DreamWorks, Edward Breen, Elizabeth Guider, Emily Johnson, Eric Feng, Eric Mika, Erik Pedersen, Etan Vlessing, Fabio Periera, Fancast, Georg Szalai, Gerald Hassell, Gerry Levin, Gregg Kilday, Hulu, IAC, J. Michael Cook, Jace Hall, Jackie Vuong, James Hibberd, Jason Hall, Jason Kilar, Jay A. Fernandez, Jean-Marie Messier, Jean-Paul Colaco, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Katzenberg, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Honickman, Jeffrey Immelt, Jenna Bordelon, Jill Kennedy, Joe Collins, Johannes Larcher, Jonathan A. Knee, Julian Brodsky, Karen Nicoletti, Kenneth Bacon, Kevin Cassidy, Khan Manka, Kimberly Nordyke, Kirk Honeycutt, Lawrence Salva, Les Moonves, Lesley Goldberg, Manka Bros., Matthew Belloni, Michael Angelakis, Michael Eisner, Michael Sovern, Mike Barnes, Mimi Turner, NBC Universal, Nellie Andreeva, New York Times, News Corp., Noela Hueso, OnMedea, Patrick Frater, Paul Bond, Paul Telegdy, Peter Chernin, Ralf Ludemann, Ralph Roberts, Ray Bennett, Robert Iger, Roger Friedman, Rupert Murdoch, S. Decker Anstrom, Sheldon M. Bonovitz, Stephen Burke, Stephen Galloway, Steve Case, Steven Zeitchik, Stuart Kemp, Sumner Redstone, Ted Turner, Terry Semel, The Curse of the Mogul, The Hollywood Reporter, Time Warner, Todd Cunningham, Tom Fuelling, Viacom, World's Largest Media Company

The chart shown on this page (and here), which my senior executive team at Manka Bros. put together over the weekend, clearly shows the correct ranking of World’s Largest Media Companies.

This chart was additionally reviewed by several leading independent external auditors in New York, Los Angeles, Hong Kong and Instanbul and is the most current and accurate World’s Largest Media Company chart available.

And… as you can see by the size of the dark blue bar in the chart, MANKA BROS. REMAINS THE WORLD’S LARGEST MEDIA COMPANY!

Please reflect this fact in any future reporting you do on this subject.  Failure to report the truth may cost you dearly.

Adam Fogelson, Alan Spoon, Alexander von Furstenberg, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Arthur Martinez, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Brad Grey, Brian Roberts, Bryan Lourd, Chase Carey, Craig Smith, David Geffen, David Rosenblatt, Donald R. Keough, Donna Langley, Edgard Bronfman, Electus, Ezra Kucharz, fairy tale movies, Graham Stanton, Greg Blatt, Greg Morrow, Greg Stevens, Gregg Winiarski, Hans Woolley, Harry Sloan, Hey Diddle Diddle, Jason Stewart, Jay Herratti, Jeff Sagansky, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Jill Kennedy, Joanne Hawkins, Joey Levin, John C. Malone, John Ferriter, John Foley, John Malone, Josh Abramson, Jr., Kara Swisher, Khan Manka, Louis Castle, Manka Bros., Mark Stein, Michael Eisner, Michael Schwerdtman, Michael Zeisser, Nikki Finke, Notional, On Medea, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Peter Chernin, Phillippe Dauman, Richard F. Zannino, Rick Finkelstein, Ricky Van Veen, Ron Meyer, Rupert Murdoch, Scott Garell, Scott Savitz, Shana Fisher, Sharon Waxman, Stacey Snider, Steve Burke, Steve Jobs, Steven Spielberg, Sumner Redstone, Terry Semel, Thomas J. McInerney, Tina Brown, Tony DiSanto, Victor KaufmanKhan Manka, Jr. – Chairman & CEO – Manka Bros. StudiosThe World’s Largest Media Company

Comcast CEO Brian Roberts Called Me Last Night

Andy Forssell, Angela Bromstad, AOL Time Warner, Ari Emanuel, Arthur Block, Ava Seave, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Bob Daly, Bob Iger, Brian Roberts, Bruce C. Greenwald, Chadwick Ho, Comcast, David Carr, David Cohen, Disney, Dr. Judith Rodin, DreamWorks, Edward Breen, Eric Feng, Fancast, Gerald Hassell, Gerry Levin, Hulu, IAC, J. Michael Cook, Jace Hall, Jason Hall, Jason Kilar, Jean-Marie Messier, Jean-Paul Colaco, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Katzenberg, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Honickman, Jeffrey Immelt, Jill Kennedy, Joe Collins, Johannes Larcher, Jonathan A. Knee, Julian Brodsky, Kenneth Bacon, Khan Manka, Lawrence Salva, Les Moonves, Manka Bros., Michael Angelakis, Michael Eisner, Michael Sovern, NBC Universal, New York Times, News Corp., OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Peter Chernin, Ralph Roberts, Robert Iger, Rupert Murdoch, S. Decker Anstrom, Sheldon M. Bonovitz, Stephen Burke, Steve Case, Sumner Redstone, Ted Turner, Terry Semel, The Curse of the Mogul, Time Warner, Tom Fuelling, Viacom, World's Largest Media Company

Andy Forssell, Angela Bromstad, AOL Time Warner, Ari Emanuel, Arthur Block, Ava Seave, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Bob Daly, Bob Iger, Brian Roberts, Bruce C. Greenwald, Chadwick Ho, Comcast, David Carr, David Cohen, Disney, Dr. Judith Rodin, DreamWorks, Edward Breen, Eric Feng, Fancast, Gerald Hassell, Gerry Levin, Hulu, IAC, J. Michael Cook, Jace Hall, Jason Hall, Jason Kilar, Jean-Marie Messier, Jean-Paul Colaco, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Katzenberg, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Honickman, Jeffrey Immelt, Jill Kennedy, Joe Collins, Johannes Larcher, Jonathan A. Knee, Julian Brodsky, Kenneth Bacon, Khan Manka, Lawrence Salva, Les Moonves, Manka Bros., Michael Angelakis, Michael Eisner, Michael Sovern, NBC Universal, New York Times, News Corp., OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Peter Chernin, Ralph Roberts, Robert Iger, Rupert Murdoch, S. Decker Anstrom, Sheldon M. Bonovitz, Stephen Burke, Steve Case, Sumner Redstone, Ted Turner, Terry Semel, The Curse of the Mogul, Time Warner, Tom Fuelling, Viacom, World's Largest Media CompanyGood morning.  I just want to say to all the thousands of Manka Bros. employees who think they’ve got a shitty job… you have no idea how lucky you are.  You could work at Comcast.

My old friend Brian Roberts called me in a panic last night.

[A little back story:  Brian and I go way back to my days in King Khan (my 1970s rock band)Brian filled in one night on bass and was absolutely horrible.  For some reason, he thought he would be able to rock and get chicks without even knowing how to hold the damn instrument.  I fired him after one song.  Audience member Dexter Clangfree jumped on stage and finished the show (and became our full time bass player).  Brian still hung around the band like a groupie and we eventually let him into our inner circle.  We called him “Bogart Brian” because once you passed him a joint, you never got it back.]

Anyway… Brian called me last night in an absolute drunken panic about this upcoming disastrous acquisition of NBC Universal.  The first words out of his mouth were:  “Khan, what the fuck am I doing?  This is madness.  Why would anyone in their right mind overpay for a failed broadcast network and failed movie studio!  Didn’t you read ‘The Curse of the Mogul’?”

Andy Forssell, Angela Bromstad, AOL Time Warner, Ari Emanuel, Arthur Block, Ava Seave, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Bob Daly, Bob Iger, Brian Roberts, Bruce C. Greenwald, Chadwick Ho, Comcast, David Carr, David Cohen, Disney, Dr. Judith Rodin, DreamWorks, Edward Breen, Eric Feng, Fancast, Gerald Hassell, Gerry Levin, Hulu, IAC, J. Michael Cook, Jace Hall, Jason Hall, Jason Kilar, Jean-Marie Messier, Jean-Paul Colaco, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Katzenberg, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Honickman, Jeffrey Immelt, Jill Kennedy, Joe Collins, Johannes Larcher, Jonathan A. Knee, Julian Brodsky, Kenneth Bacon, Khan Manka, Lawrence Salva, Les Moonves, Manka Bros., Michael Angelakis, Michael Eisner, Michael Sovern, NBC Universal, New York Times, News Corp., OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Peter Chernin, Ralph Roberts, Robert Iger, Rupert Murdoch, S. Decker Anstrom, Sheldon M. Bonovitz, Stephen Burke, Steve Case, Sumner Redstone, Ted Turner, Terry Semel, The Curse of the Mogul, Time Warner, Tom Fuelling, Viacom, World's Largest Media CompanyI told him he wasn’t in his right mind but added that ‘The Curse of the Mogul’ is complete bullshit and he shouldn’t pay any attention to what the jealous, wannabe mogul hacks who wrote that book had to say.

I continued:  “Manka Bros. is the world’s largest media company.  There is no disputing that – and there wasn’t one mention of Manka Bros. it that goddamned book!  All credibility is lost right there.  And these fuckers are going to tell me that being the biggest isn’t a competitive advantage?   Put Mike Tyson in a boxing ring with Wally Cox and tell me that size isn’t a competitive advantage!”

There was a pause.  I could hear ice clinking through the other end of the phone.  I knew Brian was drinking heavily.

I finished my thought:  “That said… this Comcast / NBC deal is fucking stupid.  You should do what Tiger Woods didn’t do… pull out.”

Brian whimpered like he always does when in a tight corner:  “I can’t do that, Khan.  There is something… bigger at hand here.  I can’t talk.  They’re watching my every move.  ZUCKER CROWS AT DAWN!… I’m sorry, Khan, I’ve put your life in danger.  Pray for me!”

He let out an anguished grunt which was followed by a muffled click… and he was gone.

Zucker Crows At Dawn? Poor Brian.  Another successful brainwashing by Jeff Zucker – who continues to amaze me in his ability to fail upward.  Somebody should just fire that guy before more people lose their minds.

Adam Fogelson, Alan Spoon, Alexander von Furstenberg, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Arthur Martinez, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Brad Grey, Brian Roberts, Bryan Lourd, Chase Carey, Craig Smith, David Geffen, David Rosenblatt, Donald R. Keough, Donna Langley, Edgard Bronfman, Electus, Ezra Kucharz, fairy tale movies, Graham Stanton, Greg Blatt, Greg Morrow, Greg Stevens, Gregg Winiarski, Hans Woolley, Harry Sloan, Hey Diddle Diddle, Jason Stewart, Jay Herratti, Jeff Sagansky, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Jill Kennedy, Joanne Hawkins, Joey Levin, John C. Malone, John Ferriter, John Foley, John Malone, Josh Abramson, Jr., Kara Swisher, Khan Manka, Louis Castle, Manka Bros., Mark Stein, Michael Eisner, Michael Schwerdtman, Michael Zeisser, Nikki Finke, Notional, On Medea, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Peter Chernin, Phillippe Dauman, Richard F. Zannino, Rick Finkelstein, Ricky Van Veen, Ron Meyer, Rupert Murdoch, Scott Garell, Scott Savitz, Shana Fisher, Sharon Waxman, Stacey Snider, Steve Burke, Steve Jobs, Steven Spielberg, Sumner Redstone, Terry Semel, Thomas J. McInerney, Tina Brown, Tony DiSanto, Victor KaufmanKhan Manka, Jr. – Chairman & CEO – Manka Bros. StudiosThe World’s Largest Media Company

P.S. – To all Comcast shareholders… SELL SELL SELL!

The Curse Of The Mogul

Angela Bromstad, AOL Time Warner, Ari Emanuel, Ava Seave, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Bob Daly, Bob Iger, Bruce C. Greenwald, David Carr, Disney, DreamWorks, Gerry Levin, IAC, Jace Hall, Jason Hall, Jean-Marie Messier, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Katzenberg, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jonathan A. Knee, Khan Manka, Les Moonves, Manka Bros., Michael Eisner, NBC Universal, New York Times, News Corp., Peter Chernin, Robert Iger, Rupert Murdoch, Steve Case, Sumner Redstone, Ted Turner, Terry Semel, The Curse of the Mogul, Time Warner, Viacom, World's Largest Media Company
Angela Bromstad, AOL Time Warner, Ari Emanuel, Ava Seave, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Bob Daly, Bob Iger, Bruce C. Greenwald, David Carr, Disney, DreamWorks, Gerry Levin, IAC, Jace Hall, Jason Hall, Jean-Marie Messier, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Katzenberg, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jonathan A. Knee, Khan Manka, Les Moonves, Manka Bros., Michael Eisner, NBC Universal, New York Times, News Corp., Peter Chernin, Robert Iger, Rupert Murdoch, Steve Case, Sumner Redstone, Ted Turner, Terry Semel, The Curse of the Mogul, Time Warner, Viacom, World's Largest Media CompanyGood afternoon.

Someone immediately get me an advance copy of “The Curse Of The Mogul:  What’s Wrong With The World’s Leading Media Companies” by Jonathan A. Knee, Bruce C. Greenwald and Ava Seave.  I want to see what those assholes esteemed writers have to say about me.

Mr. Knee, Mr. Greenwald and Ms. Seave should be very careful what they say about us moguls.  We have very long memories and are the ones who own the important publishing companies.

Adam Fogelson, Alan Spoon, Alexander von Furstenberg, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Arthur Martinez, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Brad Grey, Brian Roberts, Bryan Lourd, Chase Carey, Craig Smith, David Geffen, David Rosenblatt, Donald R. Keough, Donna Langley, Edgard Bronfman, Electus, Ezra Kucharz, fairy tale movies, Graham Stanton, Greg Blatt, Greg Morrow, Greg Stevens, Gregg Winiarski, Hans Woolley, Harry Sloan, Hey Diddle Diddle, Jason Stewart, Jay Herratti, Jeff Sagansky, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Jill Kennedy, Joanne Hawkins, Joey Levin, John C. Malone, John Ferriter, John Foley, John Malone, Josh Abramson, Jr., Kara Swisher, Khan Manka, Louis Castle, Manka Bros., Mark Stein, Michael Eisner, Michael Schwerdtman, Michael Zeisser, Nikki Finke, Notional, On Medea, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Peter Chernin, Phillippe Dauman, Richard F. Zannino, Rick Finkelstein, Ricky Van Veen, Ron Meyer, Rupert Murdoch, Scott Garell, Scott Savitz, Shana Fisher, Sharon Waxman, Stacey Snider, Steve Burke, Steve Jobs, Steven Spielberg, Sumner Redstone, Terry Semel, Thomas J. McInerney, Tina Brown, Tony DiSanto, Victor KaufmanKhan Manka, Jr. – Chairman & CEO – Manka Bros. StudiosThe World’s Largest Media Company