Davos World Economic Forum – 2012 – Khan Manka, Jr. Keynote Address

Adrian Monck, Al Berkeley, Alan Marcus, Alex Wong, Andre Schneider, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Ben Silverman, Carine Benetti, Carla Bruni-Sarkozy, Carlos Ghosn, Carsten Sudhoff, Christine Lagarde, Christophe Weber, Cristiana Falcone, David Aikman, Davos World Economic Forum, Denise Burnet, Dominic Waughray, Electus, Emilio Lozoya Austin, Ernesto Zedillo Ponce de Leon, Fon Mathuros, Giancarlo Bruno, Gilbert Probst, Guy Goodwin, Guy-Serge Baer, H.M. Queen Rania, Harry Manka, Heizo Takenaka, Helena Leurent, Indra Nooyi, Irene Mia, Ivan Pictet, Jean-Loup Denereaz, Jean-Pierre Rosso, Jeff Immelt, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jennifer Blanke, Jeremy Jurgens, John Moavenzadeh, Josef Ackermann, Joseph Schoendorf, Julianne Jammers, Katerine Tweedie, Kevin Steinberg, Khan Manka, Klaus Schwab, Kofi Annan, Kristel Van der Elst, Kurt Alig, Laurent Desnoux, Lee Howell, Lisa Dreier, Logan Stanton, Malte Godbersen, Manka Bros., Margareta Drzeniek Hanouz, Martina Gmur, Massimo Marino, Maurice Levy, Max von Bismarck, Melanie Rogers, Michael Dell, Mirjam Schoning, Nazi gold, Niall FitzGerald, Nicolas Sarkozy, Olivier Raynaud, OnMedea, Orit Gadiesh, Paul Smyke, Peter Brabeck-Letmathe, Peter Sutherland, Piers Cumberlege, Pratik Bhatnagar, Rajat Gupta, Regula Waltenspuel, Richard Samans, Ricky Van Veen, Robert Greenhill, Rupert Murdoch, Saadia Zahidi, Sarita Nayyar, Sheana Tambourgi, Sherif El Diwany, Stephanie Janet, Stephen Kinnock, Sumner Redstone, Susan Hockfield, Sushant Palakurthi Rao, Terry Semel, Tony Blair, Victor L.L. Chu, William George, world's largest media company, Victor Pinchuk, Denis O'Brien, Vikas Oberoi, Kevin Steinberg, Henry Ross Perot, George Soros, Viktor Vekselberg, Nicolas Berggruen, Rahul Bajaj, Adi Godrej, Brian Behlendorf, Borge Brende, Robert Greenhill, W. Lee Howell, Adrian Monck, Gilbert J. B. Probst, Alois Zwinggi, David Aikman, Roberto Bocca, Denise Burnet, Piers A. Cumberlege, jean-Loup Denereaz, Martina Gmur, Malte Godbersen, jeremy Jurgens, Sushant Palakurthi Rao, OIivier Raynaud, mel Rogers, Mirjam Schoning, Carsten Sudhoff, Dominic Waughray, Alex Wong, Saadia Zahidi, Guy-Serge Baer, Carine Benetti, Fon Mathuros Chantanayingyong, Thea Chiesa, Laurent Desnoux, Margareta Drzeniek Hanouz, Miroslav Dusek, Diana El-Azar, Guy Goodwin, Silvia Von Gunten, Andrew J. Hagan, Michael Hanley, Chiemi Hayashi, Julianne Jammers, Stephanie Janet, Elsi Kanza, Thomas Kerr, Kamal Kimaoui, Stephen Kinnock, Randall Krantz, Roldolfo Lara Torres, Emma Loades, Grant McKibbin, Katherine Milligan, Michele Petochi, Akira Tsuchiya, Kristel Van der Elst, Regula Waltenspuel, Zhang Li, Josef Ackermann, Mukesh Ambani, Kofi Annan, Peter Brabeck-Letmathe, Mark J. Carney, Victor L. L. Chu, Michael S. Dell, Oriti Gadiesh, Carlos Ghosn, Herman Gref, Susan Hockfield, Christine Lagarde, Maurice Levy, Luis A. Moreno, Indra Nooyi, H. M. Queen Rania Al Abdullah of the hashemite Kingdom of Jordan, Peter Sands, Joseph P. Schoendorf, Josette Sheeran, Peter D. Sutherland, Heizo Takenaka, Ben J. Verwaayen, George Yeo Yong-Boon, Ernesto Zedillo Ponce de Leon, Zhu Min, Paul Graham, Y Combinator, Hollywood vs. Silicon Valley

[Manka Bros. Studios Chairman & CEO Khan Manka, Jr. gave a keynote address today at the Davos World Economic Forum.  He wanted me to post a transcript of his speech which I made watching a video feed.  It is posted, unedited, below. — Vicky Adler-Modry – Senior Executive Assistant to Khan Manka, Jr.]

Adrian Monck, Al Berkeley, Alan Marcus, Alex Wong, Andre Schneider, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Ben Silverman, Carine Benetti, Carla Bruni-Sarkozy, Carlos Ghosn, Carsten Sudhoff, Christine Lagarde, Christophe Weber, Cristiana Falcone, David Aikman, Davos World Economic Forum, Denise Burnet, Dominic Waughray, Electus, Emilio Lozoya Austin, Ernesto Zedillo Ponce de Leon, Fon Mathuros, Giancarlo Bruno, Gilbert Probst, Guy Goodwin, Guy-Serge Baer, H.M. Queen Rania, Harry Manka, Heizo Takenaka, Helena Leurent, Indra Nooyi, Irene Mia, Ivan Pictet, Jean-Loup Denereaz, Jean-Pierre Rosso, Jeff Immelt, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jennifer Blanke, Jeremy Jurgens, John Moavenzadeh, Josef Ackermann, Joseph Schoendorf, Julianne Jammers, Katerine Tweedie, Kevin Steinberg, Khan Manka, Klaus Schwab, Kofi Annan, Kristel Van der Elst, Kurt Alig, Laurent Desnoux, Lee Howell, Lisa Dreier, Logan Stanton, Malte Godbersen, Manka Bros., Margareta Drzeniek Hanouz, Martina Gmur, Massimo Marino, Maurice Levy, Max von Bismarck, Melanie Rogers, Michael Dell, Mirjam Schoning, Nazi gold, Niall FitzGerald, Nicolas Sarkozy, Olivier Raynaud, OnMedea, Orit Gadiesh, Paul Smyke, Peter Brabeck-Letmathe, Peter Sutherland, Piers Cumberlege, Pratik Bhatnagar, Rajat Gupta, Regula Waltenspuel, Richard Samans, Ricky Van Veen, Robert Greenhill, Rupert Murdoch, Saadia Zahidi, Sarita Nayyar, Sheana Tambourgi, Sherif El Diwany, Stephanie Janet, Stephen Kinnock, Sumner Redstone, Susan Hockfield, Sushant Palakurthi Rao, Terry Semel, Tony Blair, Victor L.L. Chu, William George, world's largest media company, Victor Pinchuk, Denis O'Brien, Vikas Oberoi, Kevin Steinberg, Henry Ross Perot, George Soros, Viktor Vekselberg, Nicolas Berggruen, Rahul Bajaj, Adi Godrej, Brian Behlendorf, Borge Brende, Robert Greenhill, W. Lee Howell, Adrian Monck, Gilbert J. B. Probst, Alois Zwinggi, David Aikman, Roberto Bocca, Denise Burnet, Piers A. Cumberlege, jean-Loup Denereaz, Martina Gmur, Malte Godbersen, jeremy Jurgens, Sushant Palakurthi Rao, OIivier Raynaud, mel Rogers, Mirjam Schoning, Carsten Sudhoff, Dominic Waughray, Alex Wong, Saadia Zahidi, Guy-Serge Baer, Carine Benetti, Fon Mathuros Chantanayingyong, Thea Chiesa, Laurent Desnoux, Margareta Drzeniek Hanouz, Miroslav Dusek, Diana El-Azar, Guy Goodwin, Silvia Von Gunten, Andrew J. Hagan, Michael Hanley, Chiemi Hayashi, Julianne Jammers, Stephanie Janet, Elsi Kanza, Thomas Kerr, Kamal Kimaoui, Stephen Kinnock, Randall Krantz, Roldolfo Lara Torres, Emma Loades, Grant McKibbin, Katherine Milligan, Michele Petochi, Akira Tsuchiya, Kristel Van der Elst, Regula Waltenspuel, Zhang Li, Josef Ackermann, Mukesh Ambani, Kofi Annan, Peter Brabeck-Letmathe, Mark J. Carney, Victor L. L. Chu, Michael S. Dell, Oriti Gadiesh, Carlos Ghosn, Herman Gref, Susan Hockfield, Christine Lagarde, Maurice Levy, Luis A. Moreno, Indra Nooyi, H. M. Queen Rania Al Abdullah of the hashemite Kingdom of Jordan, Peter Sands, Joseph P. Schoendorf, Josette Sheeran, Peter D. Sutherland, Heizo Takenaka, Ben J. Verwaayen, George Yeo Yong-Boon, Ernesto Zedillo Ponce de Leon, Zhu Min, Paul Graham, Y Combinator, Hollywood vs. Silicon ValleyKHAN MANKA, JR. ADDRESSES THE DAVOS, SWITZERLAND WORLD ECONOMIC FORUM – JANUARY 25, 2012

(Klaus Schwab – Founder and Executive Chairman of the World Economic Forum – is at a podium.  Bon Jovi’s “Living On A Prayer” is playing.  The music fades.)

Klaus Schwab (heavily accented English):  Good morning.  I hope you all have had enough snow.  We may be able to control the finances of the world but I guess we cannot control the weather… yet.

(He laughs – he’s the only one.)

Klaus Schwab:  So, did you have a good night?  Lots of drinking last night and I’m not sure what was in that cheese fondue but – oh, my – let’s just say it was a tough night.  So enough about me and my toilet issues.  Let’s get it started – like my friend Khan from Hollywood likes to say.  Our keynote address this morning is from Khan Manka, Jr. – Chairman & CEO of Manka Bros. Studios – currently the world’s largest media company

Khan Manka, Jr.:  — Maybe not after the shitty numbers we had last year!

(Big laugh from the assembled.)

Klaus Schwab:  Okay.  Whatever.  He really needs no introduction – so I won’t give him one – here is Khan Manka, Jr.

(“Rock You Like A Hurricane” plays as Khan Manka, Jr. gives Klaus Schwab a hug and steps up to the podium.  Applause.)

Adrian Monck, Al Berkeley, Alan Marcus, Alex Wong, Andre Schneider, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Ben Silverman, Carine Benetti, Carla Bruni-Sarkozy, Carlos Ghosn, Carsten Sudhoff, Christine Lagarde, Christophe Weber, Cristiana Falcone, David Aikman, Davos World Economic Forum, Denise Burnet, Dominic Waughray, Electus, Emilio Lozoya Austin, Ernesto Zedillo Ponce de Leon, Fon Mathuros, Giancarlo Bruno, Gilbert Probst, Guy Goodwin, Guy-Serge Baer, H.M. Queen Rania, Harry Manka, Heizo Takenaka, Helena Leurent, Indra Nooyi, Irene Mia, Ivan Pictet, Jean-Loup Denereaz, Jean-Pierre Rosso, Jeff Immelt, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jennifer Blanke, Jeremy Jurgens, John Moavenzadeh, Josef Ackermann, Joseph Schoendorf, Julianne Jammers, Katerine Tweedie, Kevin Steinberg, Khan Manka, Klaus Schwab, Kofi Annan, Kristel Van der Elst, Kurt Alig, Laurent Desnoux, Lee Howell, Lisa Dreier, Logan Stanton, Malte Godbersen, Manka Bros., Margareta Drzeniek Hanouz, Martina Gmur, Massimo Marino, Maurice Levy, Max von Bismarck, Melanie Rogers, Michael Dell, Mirjam Schoning, Nazi gold, Niall FitzGerald, Nicolas Sarkozy, Olivier Raynaud, OnMedea, Orit Gadiesh, Paul Smyke, Peter Brabeck-Letmathe, Peter Sutherland, Piers Cumberlege, Pratik Bhatnagar, Rajat Gupta, Regula Waltenspuel, Richard Samans, Ricky Van Veen, Robert Greenhill, Rupert Murdoch, Saadia Zahidi, Sarita Nayyar, Sheana Tambourgi, Sherif El Diwany, Stephanie Janet, Stephen Kinnock, Sumner Redstone, Susan Hockfield, Sushant Palakurthi Rao, Terry Semel, Tony Blair, Victor L.L. Chu, William George, world's largest media company, Victor Pinchuk, Denis O'Brien, Vikas Oberoi, Kevin Steinberg, Henry Ross Perot, George Soros, Viktor Vekselberg, Nicolas Berggruen, Rahul Bajaj, Adi Godrej, Brian Behlendorf, Borge Brende, Robert Greenhill, W. Lee Howell, Adrian Monck, Gilbert J. B. Probst, Alois Zwinggi, David Aikman, Roberto Bocca, Denise Burnet, Piers A. Cumberlege, jean-Loup Denereaz, Martina Gmur, Malte Godbersen, jeremy Jurgens, Sushant Palakurthi Rao, OIivier Raynaud, mel Rogers, Mirjam Schoning, Carsten Sudhoff, Dominic Waughray, Alex Wong, Saadia Zahidi, Guy-Serge Baer, Carine Benetti, Fon Mathuros Chantanayingyong, Thea Chiesa, Laurent Desnoux, Margareta Drzeniek Hanouz, Miroslav Dusek, Diana El-Azar, Guy Goodwin, Silvia Von Gunten, Andrew J. Hagan, Michael Hanley, Chiemi Hayashi, Julianne Jammers, Stephanie Janet, Elsi Kanza, Thomas Kerr, Kamal Kimaoui, Stephen Kinnock, Randall Krantz, Roldolfo Lara Torres, Emma Loades, Grant McKibbin, Katherine Milligan, Michele Petochi, Akira Tsuchiya, Kristel Van der Elst, Regula Waltenspuel, Zhang Li, Josef Ackermann, Mukesh Ambani, Kofi Annan, Peter Brabeck-Letmathe, Mark J. Carney, Victor L. L. Chu, Michael S. Dell, Oriti Gadiesh, Carlos Ghosn, Herman Gref, Susan Hockfield, Christine Lagarde, Maurice Levy, Luis A. Moreno, Indra Nooyi, H. M. Queen Rania Al Abdullah of the hashemite Kingdom of Jordan, Peter Sands, Joseph P. Schoendorf, Josette Sheeran, Peter D. Sutherland, Heizo Takenaka, Ben J. Verwaayen, George Yeo Yong-Boon, Ernesto Zedillo Ponce de Leon, Zhu Min, Paul Graham, Y Combinator, Hollywood vs. Silicon ValleyKhan Manka, Jr.:  Thank you.  Thanks so much.  Please, thanks, I only have a few minutes.  Please, I want to get out of Switzerland more than Roman Polanski – believe me…

(Applause stops.  There are a couple of ‘boos’ after that remark.)

Khan Manka, Jr.:  Thank you Klaus.  I had a few jokes prepared at your expense but your goons told me to lay off – so I’ll just get to my prepared remarks.  But before I do that can I just say to the Motion Picture Academy – go fuck yourselves.  How about a little taste of that, huh?  No nominations?  Maybe next year you should watch the movies you nominate.  OK, Klaus, I get it – on to my prepared remarks.

(Klaus Schwab smiles painfully and leaves the stage.)

Khan Manka, Jr.:  I was originally going to call my speech “Don’t Drop The SOPA” – but then I realized there were about 10,000 blogs that have used that as well as a very unfunny political pundit on Fox News.  So I’ll just have to punt on that dumb joke.  Though the analogy is apt.  When you drop the soap in prison – well, you know what happens.  If Hollywood studios were to drop the SOPA – well, the same thing would happen.

(A slight titter in the audience.)

Khan Manka, Jr.:  So… this is my second trip in a year to give a speech in Switzerland.  As many of you know, I spoke to the creepy Bilderberg Conference last summer.  I won’t go into details – but it was the worst  24 hours of my life.  I mean, the hooded waiters were one thing – but the Lionel Richie concert – that was just too much!

(Big laugh from the room.)

Khan Manka, Jr.:  Man, when the Davos bankers think the Bilderbergers are creepy – you know they must be REALLY REALLY CREEPY.  Cause you guys are a fucked up bunch.  Do you really think you can do anything to help anybody in the world?  You freaks are delusional.  Panels and Powerpoint slides aren’t going to cut it.  Admit it, you’re here for the hot toddys and snow bunnies– that’s right, I’m looking at you Angela Merkel!

(A few gasps and a couple of walk outs.)

Khan Manka, Jr.:  Wait wait… that’s not the tone I want to strike.  I’m actually here to ask for your help.  The last time I spoke at this conference was two years ago and I slammed you all pretty good.  I definitely remember calling that guy ‘fat’ – (pointing to a guy in the audience) – but I’m not going to do that this year – even though, dude, the health club here at the hotel is free, man – take advantage.

(There is an unseen ‘Fuck you’ from the audience.  Klaus Schwab comes on the stage.)

Adrian Monck, Al Berkeley, Alan Marcus, Alex Wong, Andre Schneider, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Ben Silverman, Carine Benetti, Carla Bruni-Sarkozy, Carlos Ghosn, Carsten Sudhoff, Christine Lagarde, Christophe Weber, Cristiana Falcone, David Aikman, Davos World Economic Forum, Denise Burnet, Dominic Waughray, Electus, Emilio Lozoya Austin, Ernesto Zedillo Ponce de Leon, Fon Mathuros, Giancarlo Bruno, Gilbert Probst, Guy Goodwin, Guy-Serge Baer, H.M. Queen Rania, Harry Manka, Heizo Takenaka, Helena Leurent, Indra Nooyi, Irene Mia, Ivan Pictet, Jean-Loup Denereaz, Jean-Pierre Rosso, Jeff Immelt, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jennifer Blanke, Jeremy Jurgens, John Moavenzadeh, Josef Ackermann, Joseph Schoendorf, Julianne Jammers, Katerine Tweedie, Kevin Steinberg, Khan Manka, Klaus Schwab, Kofi Annan, Kristel Van der Elst, Kurt Alig, Laurent Desnoux, Lee Howell, Lisa Dreier, Logan Stanton, Malte Godbersen, Manka Bros., Margareta Drzeniek Hanouz, Martina Gmur, Massimo Marino, Maurice Levy, Max von Bismarck, Melanie Rogers, Michael Dell, Mirjam Schoning, Nazi gold, Niall FitzGerald, Nicolas Sarkozy, Olivier Raynaud, OnMedea, Orit Gadiesh, Paul Smyke, Peter Brabeck-Letmathe, Peter Sutherland, Piers Cumberlege, Pratik Bhatnagar, Rajat Gupta, Regula Waltenspuel, Richard Samans, Ricky Van Veen, Robert Greenhill, Rupert Murdoch, Saadia Zahidi, Sarita Nayyar, Sheana Tambourgi, Sherif El Diwany, Stephanie Janet, Stephen Kinnock, Sumner Redstone, Susan Hockfield, Sushant Palakurthi Rao, Terry Semel, Tony Blair, Victor L.L. Chu, William George, world's largest media company, Victor Pinchuk, Denis O'Brien, Vikas Oberoi, Kevin Steinberg, Henry Ross Perot, George Soros, Viktor Vekselberg, Nicolas Berggruen, Rahul Bajaj, Adi Godrej, Brian Behlendorf, Borge Brende, Robert Greenhill, W. Lee Howell, Adrian Monck, Gilbert J. B. Probst, Alois Zwinggi, David Aikman, Roberto Bocca, Denise Burnet, Piers A. Cumberlege, jean-Loup Denereaz, Martina Gmur, Malte Godbersen, jeremy Jurgens, Sushant Palakurthi Rao, OIivier Raynaud, mel Rogers, Mirjam Schoning, Carsten Sudhoff, Dominic Waughray, Alex Wong, Saadia Zahidi, Guy-Serge Baer, Carine Benetti, Fon Mathuros Chantanayingyong, Thea Chiesa, Laurent Desnoux, Margareta Drzeniek Hanouz, Miroslav Dusek, Diana El-Azar, Guy Goodwin, Silvia Von Gunten, Andrew J. Hagan, Michael Hanley, Chiemi Hayashi, Julianne Jammers, Stephanie Janet, Elsi Kanza, Thomas Kerr, Kamal Kimaoui, Stephen Kinnock, Randall Krantz, Roldolfo Lara Torres, Emma Loades, Grant McKibbin, Katherine Milligan, Michele Petochi, Akira Tsuchiya, Kristel Van der Elst, Regula Waltenspuel, Zhang Li, Josef Ackermann, Mukesh Ambani, Kofi Annan, Peter Brabeck-Letmathe, Mark J. Carney, Victor L. L. Chu, Michael S. Dell, Oriti Gadiesh, Carlos Ghosn, Herman Gref, Susan Hockfield, Christine Lagarde, Maurice Levy, Luis A. Moreno, Indra Nooyi, H. M. Queen Rania Al Abdullah of the hashemite Kingdom of Jordan, Peter Sands, Joseph P. Schoendorf, Josette Sheeran, Peter D. Sutherland, Heizo Takenaka, Ben J. Verwaayen, George Yeo Yong-Boon, Ernesto Zedillo Ponce de Leon, Zhu Min,  Paul Graham, Y Combinator, Hollywood vs. Silicon ValleyKlaus Schwab:  Just read from your script.  Please.

Khan Manka, Jr.:  Got it, Klaus.  You guys are definitely not going to do anything good for the world if you can’t take a joke.  OK – my speech.  (reading) In Hollywood, we are facing the battle of our lives.  This is a battle for our very existence.  As many of you know, entrepreneurs from Silicon Valley are a bunch of conceited pricks who think they can do whatever they want.  Whether it’s using Hollywood content without permission or stealing other people’s ideas, putting a new logo on it and calling it ‘revolutionary’ (is Paul Graham here today?) – we’ve got a big problem on our hands.

(The crowd is getting uneasy.)

Khan Manka, Jr.:  And there really is only one solution.  One of us must win.  And one of us must lose.  I, for one, do not lose.  So the loser is Silicon Valley.  But we’re going to need a lot of support from the bankers and billionaires of the world to basically shut down the area between, oh, let’s say – San Francisco and Santa Barabara.  Just shut it down.  Make all the wine you want – but no more stupid social networks.  No more loans.  No more IPOs.  Just shut the fucker down.  The world can get their computers and dorky FarmVille games from somewhere else.  I’m sure there are companies in Switzerland capable of making digital sheep.  I mean, you make a lot of real sheep, am I right?

(A nervous Klaus Schwab has come back onto the stage is standing close to Khan Manka, Jr.)

Khan Manka, Jr.:  Klaus, please, back off.  Do you want me to tell the crowd that it wasn’t the cheese that put you on that toilet all night?

(Klaus Schwab backs away a bit but stays on the stage.)

Adrian Monck, Al Berkeley, Alan Marcus, Alex Wong, Andre Schneider, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Ben Silverman, Carine Benetti, Carla Bruni-Sarkozy, Carlos Ghosn, Carsten Sudhoff, Christine Lagarde, Christophe Weber, Cristiana Falcone, David Aikman, Davos World Economic Forum, Denise Burnet, Dominic Waughray, Electus, Emilio Lozoya Austin, Ernesto Zedillo Ponce de Leon, Fon Mathuros, Giancarlo Bruno, Gilbert Probst, Guy Goodwin, Guy-Serge Baer, H.M. Queen Rania, Harry Manka, Heizo Takenaka, Helena Leurent, Indra Nooyi, Irene Mia, Ivan Pictet, Jean-Loup Denereaz, Jean-Pierre Rosso, Jeff Immelt, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jennifer Blanke, Jeremy Jurgens, John Moavenzadeh, Josef Ackermann, Joseph Schoendorf, Julianne Jammers, Katerine Tweedie, Kevin Steinberg, Khan Manka, Klaus Schwab, Kofi Annan, Kristel Van der Elst, Kurt Alig, Laurent Desnoux, Lee Howell, Lisa Dreier, Logan Stanton, Malte Godbersen, Manka Bros., Margareta Drzeniek Hanouz, Martina Gmur, Massimo Marino, Maurice Levy, Max von Bismarck, Melanie Rogers, Michael Dell, Mirjam Schoning, Nazi gold, Niall FitzGerald, Nicolas Sarkozy, Olivier Raynaud, OnMedea, Orit Gadiesh, Paul Smyke, Peter Brabeck-Letmathe, Peter Sutherland, Piers Cumberlege, Pratik Bhatnagar, Rajat Gupta, Regula Waltenspuel, Richard Samans, Ricky Van Veen, Robert Greenhill, Rupert Murdoch, Saadia Zahidi, Sarita Nayyar, Sheana Tambourgi, Sherif El Diwany, Stephanie Janet, Stephen Kinnock, Sumner Redstone, Susan Hockfield, Sushant Palakurthi Rao, Terry Semel, Tony Blair, Victor L.L. Chu, William George, world's largest media company, Victor Pinchuk, Denis O'Brien, Vikas Oberoi, Kevin Steinberg, Henry Ross Perot, George Soros, Viktor Vekselberg, Nicolas Berggruen, Rahul Bajaj, Adi Godrej, Brian Behlendorf, Borge Brende, Robert Greenhill, W. Lee Howell, Adrian Monck, Gilbert J. B. Probst, Alois Zwinggi, David Aikman, Roberto Bocca, Denise Burnet, Piers A. Cumberlege, jean-Loup Denereaz, Martina Gmur, Malte Godbersen, jeremy Jurgens, Sushant Palakurthi Rao, OIivier Raynaud, mel Rogers, Mirjam Schoning, Carsten Sudhoff, Dominic Waughray, Alex Wong, Saadia Zahidi, Guy-Serge Baer, Carine Benetti, Fon Mathuros Chantanayingyong, Thea Chiesa, Laurent Desnoux, Margareta Drzeniek Hanouz, Miroslav Dusek, Diana El-Azar, Guy Goodwin, Silvia Von Gunten, Andrew J. Hagan, Michael Hanley, Chiemi Hayashi, Julianne Jammers, Stephanie Janet, Elsi Kanza, Thomas Kerr, Kamal Kimaoui, Stephen Kinnock, Randall Krantz, Roldolfo Lara Torres, Emma Loades, Grant McKibbin, Katherine Milligan, Michele Petochi, Akira Tsuchiya, Kristel Van der Elst, Regula Waltenspuel, Zhang Li, Josef Ackermann, Mukesh Ambani, Kofi Annan, Peter Brabeck-Letmathe, Mark J. Carney, Victor L. L. Chu, Michael S. Dell, Oriti Gadiesh, Carlos Ghosn, Herman Gref, Susan Hockfield, Christine Lagarde, Maurice Levy, Luis A. Moreno, Indra Nooyi, H. M. Queen Rania Al Abdullah of the hashemite Kingdom of Jordan, Peter Sands, Joseph P. Schoendorf, Josette Sheeran, Peter D. Sutherland, Heizo Takenaka, Ben J. Verwaayen, George Yeo Yong-Boon, Ernesto Zedillo Ponce de Leon, Zhu Min,  Paul Graham, Y Combinator, Hollywood vs. Silicon ValleyKhan Manka, Jr.:  Now I can tell there are a few people here from Silicon Valley.  I can tell because you are wearing hoodies instead of business casual like you were told.  Yet another rule you seem to have disregard for.  Why would you care less about what your hosts want or think?  It’s called human decency, assholes.  You could care less about anything because you think you run the world.

(There is a commotion in the crowd.  A couple of members of the Swiss Army swoop in and take away a screaming man in a hoodie.  Several gadgets fall out of his pockets.)

Khan Manka, Jr.:  Well, listen up, Silicon Valley – and, yes, you, too, Paul Graham who wishes to “Kill Hollywood” – it’s game on and today is Day 1.

If you think you can make premium content and distribute it in a way that makes money without us involved – go for it.  Good luck.  Just because you geeks think you talk like the characters on “Big Bang Theory” doesn’t mean you can write the dialogue.  There are professionals.  And there are amateurs.  In the world of content, who do you think is the professional?  That’s right.  Game – set – match.

(There is chaos in the room as a couple of guys in hoodies approach the stage.)

Khan Manka, Jr.:  Oh, really, hoodie boy, you wanna go?!

Klaus Schwab rushes to the podium and puts a hand on Khan Manka, Jr.’s shoulder.  The Swiss Army guys remove the men in hoodies.)

Khan Manka, Jr.:  Um… “Welcome To The Terrordome” was suppose to play here.  You assholes aren’t going to play my music cues now?  I’m fucking surrounded by amateurs.  I am done with Switzerland.  Victor (Pinchuk), I’m de-icing the plane – whenever you’re ready I am out of here.

(Khan Manka, Jr. walks off the stage. )

Adam Fogelson, Alan Spoon, Alexander von Furstenberg, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Arthur Martinez, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Brad Grey, Brian Roberts, Bryan Lourd, Chase Carey, Craig Smith, David Geffen, David Rosenblatt, Donald R. Keough, Donna Langley, Edgard Bronfman, Electus, Ezra Kucharz, fairy tale movies, Graham Stanton, Greg Blatt, Greg Morrow, Greg Stevens, Gregg Winiarski, Hans Woolley, Harry Sloan, Hey Diddle Diddle, Jason Stewart, Jay Herratti, Jeff Sagansky, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Jill Kennedy, Joanne Hawkins, Joey Levin, John C. Malone, John Ferriter, John Foley, John Malone, Josh Abramson, Jr., Kara Swisher, Khan Manka, Louis Castle, Manka Bros., Mark Stein, Michael Eisner, Michael Schwerdtman, Michael Zeisser, Nikki Finke, Notional, On Medea, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Peter Chernin, Phillippe Dauman, Richard F. Zannino, Rick Finkelstein, Ricky Van Veen, Ron Meyer, Rupert Murdoch, Scott Garell, Scott Savitz, Shana Fisher, Sharon Waxman, Stacey Snider, Steve Burke, Steve Jobs, Steven Spielberg, Sumner Redstone, Terry Semel, Thomas J. McInerney, Tina Brown, Tony DiSanto, Victor KaufmanKhan Manka, Jr. – Chairman & CEO – Manka Bros. StudiosThe World’s Largest Media Company

 

Bilderberg Conference – Khan Manka, Jr. Keynote Address

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Ben Silverman, World's Largest Media Company, Bilderberg Conference 2011, Bilderberg Meetings, Conspiracy, Suvretta House, St. Moritz, Switzerland, Andrew Kakabadse, Etienne Davignon, Suez Tractebel, Josef Ackermann, Roger Altman, Francisco Pinto Balsemao, Franco Bernabe, Henri de Castries, Juan Luis Cebrian, Edmund Clark, Kenneth Clarke, George David, Anders Eldrup, Victor Halberstadt, James Johnson, John Kerrn, Klaus Kleinfeld, Mustafa Koc, Marie-Josee Kravis, Jessica T. Mathews, Thierry de Montbrial, Mario Monti, Egil Myklebust, Matthias Nass, Jorma Ollila, Richard Perle, Heather Reisman, Rudolf Scholten, Peter Sutherland, Martin Taylor, Peter Thiel, Daniel Vasella, Jacob Wallenberg, David Rockefeller, Bernhard of the Netherlands, Alec Home of the Hirsel, Walter Scheel, Eric Roll of Ipsden, Peter Carrington, Charlie Skelton, Peter Voser, Bob Iger, Peter Guest, John Coleman, Paul van Zeeland, Joseph Retinger, Joseph Johnson, Arnold Th. Lamping, Ernst H. Van der Beugel, William Bundy, Paul Finney, Theodore Eliot, Casimir Yost, Victor Halberstadt, J. Martin Taylor

[The following is a transcript of Khan Manka, Jr.’s keynote address to the 2011 Bilderberg Conference in St. Moritz, SwitzerlandMr. Manka insisted a word-for-word translation be put up on the blog.  While physical and legal threats against our lives and livelihoods have been made, we will do as Mr. Manka has asked. His speech is presented here in its entirety. – Signed Anonymous]

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Ben Silverman, World's Largest Media Company, Bilderberg Conference 2011, Bilderberg Meetings, Conspiracy, Suvretta House, St. Moritz, Switzerland, Andrew Kakabadse, Etienne Davignon, Suez Tractebel, Josef Ackermann, Roger Altman, Francisco Pinto Balsemao, Franco Bernabe, Henri de Castries, Juan Luis Cebrian, Edmund Clark, Kenneth Clarke, George David, Anders Eldrup, Victor Halberstadt, James Johnson, John Kerrn, Klaus Kleinfeld, Mustafa Koc, Marie-Josee Kravis, Jessica T. Mathews, Thierry de Montbrial, Mario Monti, Egil Myklebust, Matthias Nass, Jorma Ollila, Richard Perle, Heather Reisman, Rudolf Scholten, Peter Sutherland, Martin Taylor, Peter Thiel, Daniel Vasella, Jacob Wallenberg, David Rockefeller, Bernhard of the Netherlands, Alec Home of the Hirsel, Walter Scheel, Eric Roll of Ipsden, Peter Carrington, Charlie Skelton, Peter Voser, Bob Iger, Peter Guest, John Coleman, Paul van Zeeland, Joseph Retinger, Joseph Johnson, Arnold Th. Lamping, Ernst H. Van der Beugel, William Bundy, Paul Finney, Theodore Eliot, Casimir Yost, Victor Halberstadt, J. Martin TaylorKhan Manka, Jr. – Bilderberg Conference – Keynote Address – June 9, 2011

Lionel Richie is finishing a rousing final chorus to “All Night Long”.  The gathered group of men [and maybe one woman – it’s hard to say] are dancing with abandon in the cavernous Suvretta House hotel bomb shelter.

As Lionel Richie exits the stage and cocktail refills are being served by hooded waiters, Bilderberg Steering Committee Chairman Etienne Davignon comes out to the microphone.

Chairman Davignon (in English): Thank you so much, Lionel Richie.  Would it have killed you to play “Brick House”?

(Big laughs from the room.)

Chairman Davignon: I have a real treat for my powerful friends here today.  When you think about the media and entertainment landscape in the world, you have to start with Manka Bros. Studios.  Not only are they the world’s largest media company, one would argue they are also the most influential in terms of how the people of the world spend their leisure time.  Under great logistical stress, we were able to get Mr. Khan Manka, Jr. here today at the conference.

(Spontaneous applause and some dinging on champagne glasses.)

Chairman Davignon: You can read Mr. Manka’s biography in the handout on the back table by the cheese platter.  What I will say is he has been the Chairman & CEO of Manka Bros. Studios for 35 years now and I’m sure he has seen it all.  Gentlemen and Lady, I present Mr. Khan Manka, Jr.

(Applause.  The piano theme music to “Eyes Wide Shut” plays over the speakers.)

Khan Manka, Jr.: Thanks Chairman-I’m-not-sure-how-to-say-your-name-so-I-won’t-try…

(Big laugh.)

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Ben Silverman, World's Largest Media Company, Bilderberg Conference 2011, Bilderberg Meetings, Conspiracy, Suvretta House, St. Moritz, Switzerland, Andrew Kakabadse, Etienne Davignon, Suez Tractebel, Josef Ackermann, Roger Altman, Francisco Pinto Balsemao, Franco Bernabe, Henri de Castries, Juan Luis Cebrian, Edmund Clark, Kenneth Clarke, George David, Anders Eldrup, Victor Halberstadt, James Johnson, John Kerrn, Klaus Kleinfeld, Mustafa Koc, Marie-Josee Kravis, Jessica T. Mathews, Thierry de Montbrial, Mario Monti, Egil Myklebust, Matthias Nass, Jorma Ollila, Richard Perle, Heather Reisman, Rudolf Scholten, Peter Sutherland, Martin Taylor, Peter Thiel, Daniel Vasella, Jacob Wallenberg, David Rockefeller, Bernhard of the Netherlands, Alec Home of the Hirsel, Walter Scheel, Eric Roll of Ipsden, Peter Carrington, Charlie Skelton, Peter Voser, Bob Iger, Peter Guest, John Coleman, Paul van Zeeland, Joseph Retinger, Joseph Johnson, Arnold Th. Lamping, Ernst H. Van der Beugel, William Bundy, Paul Finney, Theodore Eliot, Casimir Yost, Victor Halberstadt, J. Martin TaylorKhan Manka, Jr.: It was quite a surprise when I was awoken in the middle the night – in my bedroom –  in my secured house – by a couple of Swiss goons talking through some sort of modulator box telling me I had been chosen to speak to the most powerful group of people in the world.  I joked and said “Will I be talking into a mirror?”

(Big laugh.)

Khan Manka, Jr.: The goons didn’t get the joke, so I listened to them.  They told me about this Bilderberg Conference in Switzerland which basically controls which way the Earth’s axis rotates.  I had no idea people controlled that – especially a bunch of old white men in suits.

(Silence.)

Khan Manka, Jr.: I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’m very familiar with shadowy, creepy cults.  I have to do business with Scientologists for Christ’s sake!  Am I right?

(Uncomfortable shuffling and a lone ‘gasp’.)

Khan Manka, Jr.: I know you didn’t ask me here to call you a bunch of ‘creeps’.  So I’ll just get on to my prepared remarks.  As I was flying over here from L.A. (in a blacked out jet, I might add), I was given the guest list of the conference attendees.  Frankly, I don’t know who the fuck any of you are – but you must be powerful – and you must be influential or you wouldn’t be sitting in a hotel bomb shelter figuring out which way the world turns… literally.

(There are a few ‘boos’ and much chattering in the audience.)

Khan Manka, Jr.:  I spoke at Davos last year, maybe I met a few of you then, but we were all so drunk it’s hard to remember anything, right?  The only person I recognize here is Peter Thiel – a venture capitalist who hit the lottery with a couple of those nutty internet investments.  So I guess that makes you powerful, eh, Peter?  Peter has a new foundation that encourages college students to drop out of school.  I didn’t need a foundation like that, Peter.  I dropped out on my own – so I could focus more on pot smoking and playing bongos on the beach.  Am I right?

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Ben Silverman, World's Largest Media Company, Bilderberg Conference 2011, Bilderberg Meetings, Conspiracy, Suvretta House, St. Moritz, Switzerland, Andrew Kakabadse, Etienne Davignon, Suez Tractebel, Josef Ackermann, Roger Altman, Francisco Pinto Balsemao, Franco Bernabe, Henri de Castries, Juan Luis Cebrian, Edmund Clark, Kenneth Clarke, George David, Anders Eldrup, Victor Halberstadt, James Johnson, John Kerrn, Klaus Kleinfeld, Mustafa Koc, Marie-Josee Kravis, Jessica T. Mathews, Thierry de Montbrial, Mario Monti, Egil Myklebust, Matthias Nass, Jorma Ollila, Richard Perle, Heather Reisman, Rudolf Scholten, Peter Sutherland, Martin Taylor, Peter Thiel, Daniel Vasella, Jacob Wallenberg, David Rockefeller, Bernhard of the Netherlands, Alec Home of the Hirsel, Walter Scheel, Eric Roll of Ipsden, Peter Carrington, Charlie Skelton, Peter Voser, Bob Iger, Peter Guest, John Coleman, Paul van Zeeland, Joseph Retinger, Joseph Johnson, Arnold Th. Lamping, Ernst H. Van der Beugel, William Bundy, Paul Finney, Theodore Eliot, Casimir Yost, Victor Halberstadt, J. Martin Taylor(Lionel Richie is pushed out onto the stage.)

Lionel Richie:  “Brick House” is coming up – right after this speech!  So wrap it up, Khan.

Khan Manka, Jr.: I don’t need some failed Commodore to come out and cut me off, all right?  This happens almost every speech I give and I’m sick of it.

(A couple of black hooded Swiss goons quickly approach Mr. Manka.)

Khan Manka, Jr.: YOU WILL NOT DRAG ME OFF!  You assholes don’t know anything about how the world works!  You drink, you chase chambermaids – THAT’S RIGHT, I SAID IT!  All of this bullshit – these conferences with caviar and champagne – and the world isn’t getting any better–!

(A solid wall of ‘boos’.)

Khan Manka, Jr.: Get your Goddamned hands off–!  Hey, there’s Charlie Rose!  What the fuck are you doing here?  You’re not powerful.  Hey, Charlie, help me–!

(The lights go out – the piano theme “Eyes Wide Shut” plays – there is a scuffle – a couple of shouts.  The lights come back up.  Lionel Richie is on stage.  The opening notes of “Brick House” begin to play.)

Adam Fogelson, Alan Spoon, Alexander von Furstenberg, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Arthur Martinez, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Brad Grey, Brian Roberts, Bryan Lourd, Chase Carey, Craig Smith, David Geffen, David Rosenblatt, Donald R. Keough, Donna Langley, Edgard Bronfman, Electus, Ezra Kucharz, fairy tale movies, Graham Stanton, Greg Blatt, Greg Morrow, Greg Stevens, Gregg Winiarski, Hans Woolley, Harry Sloan, Hey Diddle Diddle, Jason Stewart, Jay Herratti, Jeff Sagansky, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Jill Kennedy, Joanne Hawkins, Joey Levin, John C. Malone, John Ferriter, John Foley, John Malone, Josh Abramson, Jr., Kara Swisher, Khan Manka, Louis Castle, Manka Bros., Mark Stein, Michael Eisner, Michael Schwerdtman, Michael Zeisser, Nikki Finke, Notional, On Medea, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Peter Chernin, Phillippe Dauman, Richard F. Zannino, Rick Finkelstein, Ricky Van Veen, Ron Meyer, Rupert Murdoch, Scott Garell, Scott Savitz, Shana Fisher, Sharon Waxman, Stacey Snider, Steve Burke, Steve Jobs, Steven Spielberg, Sumner Redstone, Terry Semel, Thomas J. McInerney, Tina Brown, Tony DiSanto, Victor KaufmanKhan Manka, Jr. – Chairman & CEO – Manka Bros. StudiosThe World’s Largest Media Company

 

Manka Bros. Corporate Offsite

Adrian Monck, Al Berkeley, Alan Marcus, Alex Wong, Andre Schneider, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Bali Four Seasons, Ben Silverman, Carine Benetti, Carla Bruni-Sarkozy, Carlos Ghosn, Carsten Sudhoff, Chairman's Blog, Christine Lagarde, Christophe Weber, corporate layoffs, Corporate Offsite, Cristiana Falcone, David Aikman, Davos World Economic Forum, Denise Burnet, Dominic Waughray, Electus, Emilio Lozoya Austin, Ernesto Zedillo Ponce de Leon, Fon Mathuros, Giancarlo Bruno, Gilbert Probst, Guy Goodwin, Guy-Serge Baer, H.M. Queen Rania, Harry Manka, Heizo Takenaka, Helena Leurent, Indra Nooyi, Irene Mia, Ivan Pictet, Jean-Loup Denereaz, Jean-Pierre Rosso, Jeff Immelt, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jennifer Blanke, Jeremy Jurgens, John Moavenzadeh, Josef Ackermann, Joseph Schoendorf, Julianne Jammers, Katerine Tweedie, Kevin Steinberg, Khan Manka, Klaus Schwab, Kofi Annan, Kristel Van der Elst, Kurt Alig, Laurent Desnoux, Lee Howell, Lisa Dreier, Logan Stanton, Maldives Four Seasons, Malte Godbersen, Manka Bros., Margareta Drzeniek Hanouz, Martina Gmur, Massimo Marino, Maurice Levy, Max von Bismarck, Melanie Rogers, Michael Dell, Mirjam Schoning, movie studio, Nazi gold, Niall FitzGerald, Nicolas Sarkozy, Olivier Raynaud, OnMedea, Orit Gadiesh, Paul Smyke, Peter Brabeck-Letmathe, Peter Sutherland, Piers Cumberlege, Pratik Bhatnagar, Rajat Gupta, Regula Waltenspuel, Richard Samans, Ricky Van Veen, Robert Greenhill, Rupert Murdoch, Saadia Zahidi, Sarita Nayyar, Sheana Tambourgi, Sherif El Diwany, Stephanie Janet, Stephen Kinnock, Sumner Redstone, Super Bowl, Susan Hockfield, Sushant Palakurthi Rao, Terry Semel, Tony Blair, Victor L.L. Chu, William George, world's largest media company

Good morning.  I have returned from my keynote speech in Davos with a new sense of optimism about our business.  After the global success of Avatar and the record-breaking television ratings of the Super Bowl, Old Media is back and we must quickly capture this lightning in a bottle before the New Media geeks take it away from us again.

So… with the recent layoffs and terrible financial news that our company endured last year, it is more important than ever for us to get our ducks in a row.  That said, I am arranging a senior management offsite in about a month to determine where we will go from here.

Adrian Monck, Al Berkeley, Alan Marcus, Alex Wong, Andre Schneider, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Bali Four Seasons, Ben Silverman, Carine Benetti, Carla Bruni-Sarkozy, Carlos Ghosn, Carsten Sudhoff, Chairman's Blog, Christine Lagarde, Christophe Weber, corporate layoffs, Corporate Offsite, Cristiana Falcone, David Aikman, Davos World Economic Forum, Denise Burnet, Dominic Waughray, Electus, Emilio Lozoya Austin, Ernesto Zedillo Ponce de Leon, Fon Mathuros, Giancarlo Bruno, Gilbert Probst, Guy Goodwin, Guy-Serge Baer, H.M. Queen Rania, Harry Manka, Heizo Takenaka, Helena Leurent, Indra Nooyi, Irene Mia, Ivan Pictet, Jean-Loup Denereaz, Jean-Pierre Rosso, Jeff Immelt, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jennifer Blanke, Jeremy Jurgens, John Moavenzadeh, Josef Ackermann, Joseph Schoendorf, Julianne Jammers, Katerine Tweedie, Kevin Steinberg, Khan Manka, Klaus Schwab, Kofi Annan, Kristel Van der Elst, Kurt Alig, Laurent Desnoux, Lee Howell, Lisa Dreier, Logan Stanton, Maldives Four Seasons, Malte Godbersen, Manka Bros., Margareta Drzeniek Hanouz, Martina Gmur, Massimo Marino, Maurice Levy, Max von Bismarck, Melanie Rogers, Michael Dell, Mirjam Schoning, movie studio, Nazi gold, Niall FitzGerald, Nicolas Sarkozy, Olivier Raynaud, OnMedea, Orit Gadiesh, Paul Smyke, Peter Brabeck-Letmathe, Peter Sutherland, Piers Cumberlege, Pratik Bhatnagar, Rajat Gupta, Regula Waltenspuel, Richard Samans, Ricky Van Veen, Robert Greenhill, Rupert Murdoch, Saadia Zahidi, Sarita Nayyar, Sheana Tambourgi, Sherif El Diwany, Stephanie Janet, Stephen Kinnock, Sumner Redstone, Super Bowl, Susan Hockfield, Sushant Palakurthi Rao, Terry Semel, Tony Blair, Victor L.L. Chu, William George, world's largest media companyAdrian Monck, Al Berkeley, Alan Marcus, Alex Wong, Andre Schneider, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Bali Four Seasons, Ben Silverman, Carine Benetti, Carla Bruni-Sarkozy, Carlos Ghosn, Carsten Sudhoff, Chairman's Blog, Christine Lagarde, Christophe Weber, corporate layoffs, Corporate Offsite, Cristiana Falcone, David Aikman, Davos World Economic Forum, Denise Burnet, Dominic Waughray, Electus, Emilio Lozoya Austin, Ernesto Zedillo Ponce de Leon, Fon Mathuros, Giancarlo Bruno, Gilbert Probst, Guy Goodwin, Guy-Serge Baer, H.M. Queen Rania, Harry Manka, Heizo Takenaka, Helena Leurent, Indra Nooyi, Irene Mia, Ivan Pictet, Jean-Loup Denereaz, Jean-Pierre Rosso, Jeff Immelt, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jennifer Blanke, Jeremy Jurgens, John Moavenzadeh, Josef Ackermann, Joseph Schoendorf, Julianne Jammers, Katerine Tweedie, Kevin Steinberg, Khan Manka, Klaus Schwab, Kofi Annan, Kristel Van der Elst, Kurt Alig, Laurent Desnoux, Lee Howell, Lisa Dreier, Logan Stanton, Maldives Four Seasons, Malte Godbersen, Manka Bros., Margareta Drzeniek Hanouz, Martina Gmur, Massimo Marino, Maurice Levy, Max von Bismarck, Melanie Rogers, Michael Dell, Mirjam Schoning, movie studio, Nazi gold, Niall FitzGerald, Nicolas Sarkozy, Olivier Raynaud, OnMedea, Orit Gadiesh, Paul Smyke, Peter Brabeck-Letmathe, Peter Sutherland, Piers Cumberlege, Pratik Bhatnagar, Rajat Gupta, Regula Waltenspuel, Richard Samans, Ricky Van Veen, Robert Greenhill, Rupert Murdoch, Saadia Zahidi, Sarita Nayyar, Sheana Tambourgi, Sherif El Diwany, Stephanie Janet, Stephen Kinnock, Sumner Redstone, Super Bowl, Susan Hockfield, Sushant Palakurthi Rao, Terry Semel, Tony Blair, Victor L.L. Chu, William George, world's largest media companyI have narrowed our offsite location choice down to either Bali or the The Maldives.

Please vote on your preference via email or leave a blog comment.  I’ll make the final decision in the next few days.

Now, more than ever, we need to commit our resources smartly in order to prosper in this very difficult economic environment.

Also, congratulations to Lloyd Grohl, he was the winner of the Manka Bros. Super Bowl pool.  Please drop by my office for your $15,250 winnings.  Asshole.

Adam Fogelson, Alan Spoon, Alexander von Furstenberg, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Arthur Martinez, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Brad Grey, Brian Roberts, Bryan Lourd, Chase Carey, Craig Smith, David Geffen, David Rosenblatt, Donald R. Keough, Donna Langley, Edgard Bronfman, Electus, Ezra Kucharz, fairy tale movies, Graham Stanton, Greg Blatt, Greg Morrow, Greg Stevens, Gregg Winiarski, Hans Woolley, Harry Sloan, Hey Diddle Diddle, Jason Stewart, Jay Herratti, Jeff Sagansky, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Jill Kennedy, Joanne Hawkins, Joey Levin, John C. Malone, John Ferriter, John Foley, John Malone, Josh Abramson, Jr., Kara Swisher, Khan Manka, Louis Castle, Manka Bros., Mark Stein, Michael Eisner, Michael Schwerdtman, Michael Zeisser, Nikki Finke, Notional, On Medea, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Peter Chernin, Phillippe Dauman, Richard F. Zannino, Rick Finkelstein, Ricky Van Veen, Ron Meyer, Rupert Murdoch, Scott Garell, Scott Savitz, Shana Fisher, Sharon Waxman, Stacey Snider, Steve Burke, Steve Jobs, Steven Spielberg, Sumner Redstone, Terry Semel, Thomas J. McInerney, Tina Brown, Tony DiSanto, Victor KaufmanKhan Manka, Jr. – Chairman & CEO – Manka Bros. StudiosThe World’s Largest Media Company

Davos World Economic Forum – Khan Manka, Jr. Keynote Address

Adrian Monck, Al Berkeley, Alan Marcus, Alex Wong, Andre Schneider, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Ben Silverman, Carine Benetti, Carla Bruni-Sarkozy, Carlos Ghosn, Carsten Sudhoff, Christine Lagarde, Christophe Weber, Cristiana Falcone, David Aikman, Davos World Economic Forum, Denise Burnet, Dominic Waughray, Electus, Emilio Lozoya Austin, Ernesto Zedillo Ponce de Leon, Fon Mathuros, Giancarlo Bruno, Gilbert Probst, Guy Goodwin, Guy-Serge Baer, H.M. Queen Rania, Harry Manka, Heizo Takenaka, Helena Leurent, Indra Nooyi, Irene Mia, Ivan Pictet, Jean-Loup Denereaz, Jean-Pierre Rosso, Jeff Immelt, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jennifer Blanke, Jeremy Jurgens, John Moavenzadeh, Josef Ackermann, Joseph Schoendorf, Julianne Jammers, Katerine Tweedie, Kevin Steinberg, Khan Manka, Klaus Schwab, Kofi Annan, Kristel Van der Elst, Kurt Alig, Laurent Desnoux, Lee Howell, Lisa Dreier, Logan Stanton, Malte Godbersen, Manka Bros., Margareta Drzeniek Hanouz, Martina Gmur, Massimo Marino, Maurice Levy, Max von Bismarck, Melanie Rogers, Michael Dell, Mirjam Schoning, Nazi gold, Niall FitzGerald, Nicolas Sarkozy, Olivier Raynaud, OnMedea, Orit Gadiesh, Paul Smyke, Peter Brabeck-Letmathe, Peter Sutherland, Piers Cumberlege, Pratik Bhatnagar, Rajat Gupta, Regula Waltenspuel, Richard Samans, Ricky Van Veen, Robert Greenhill, Rupert Murdoch, Saadia Zahidi, Sarita Nayyar, Sheana Tambourgi, Sherif El Diwany, Stephanie Janet, Stephen Kinnock, Sumner Redstone, Susan Hockfield, Sushant Palakurthi Rao, Terry Semel, Tony Blair, Victor L.L. Chu, William George, world's largest media company

[Manka Bros. Studios Chairman & CEO Khan Manka, Jr. gave a keynote address today at the Davos World Economic Forum in Switzerland.  He wanted me to post a transcript of his speech for everyone at the studio to read.  It is posted, unedited, below. — Vicky Adler-Modry – Senior Executive Assistant to Khan Manka, Jr.]

Adrian Monck, Al Berkeley, Alan Marcus, Alex Wong, Andre Schneider, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Ben Silverman, Carine Benetti, Carla Bruni-Sarkozy, Carlos Ghosn, Carsten Sudhoff, Christine Lagarde, Christophe Weber, Cristiana Falcone, David Aikman, Davos World Economic Forum, Denise Burnet, Dominic Waughray, Electus, Emilio Lozoya Austin, Ernesto Zedillo Ponce de Leon, Fon Mathuros, Giancarlo Bruno, Gilbert Probst, Guy Goodwin, Guy-Serge Baer, H.M. Queen Rania, Harry Manka, Heizo Takenaka, Helena Leurent, Indra Nooyi, Irene Mia, Ivan Pictet, Jean-Loup Denereaz, Jean-Pierre Rosso, Jeff Immelt, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jennifer Blanke, Jeremy Jurgens, John Moavenzadeh, Josef Ackermann, Joseph Schoendorf, Julianne Jammers, Katerine Tweedie, Kevin Steinberg, Khan Manka, Klaus Schwab, Kofi Annan, Kristel Van der Elst, Kurt Alig, Laurent Desnoux, Lee Howell, Lisa Dreier, Logan Stanton, Malte Godbersen, Manka Bros., Margareta Drzeniek Hanouz, Martina Gmur, Massimo Marino, Maurice Levy, Max von Bismarck, Melanie Rogers, Michael Dell, Mirjam Schoning, Nazi gold, Niall FitzGerald, Nicolas Sarkozy, Olivier Raynaud, OnMedea, Orit Gadiesh, Paul Smyke, Peter Brabeck-Letmathe, Peter Sutherland, Piers Cumberlege, Pratik Bhatnagar, Rajat Gupta, Regula Waltenspuel, Richard Samans, Ricky Van Veen, Robert Greenhill, Rupert Murdoch, Saadia Zahidi, Sarita Nayyar, Sheana Tambourgi, Sherif El Diwany, Stephanie Janet, Stephen Kinnock, Sumner Redstone, Susan Hockfield, Sushant Palakurthi Rao, Terry Semel, Tony Blair, Victor L.L. Chu, William George, world's largest media companyKHAN MANKA, JR. ADDRESSES THE 2010 DAVOS, SWITZERLAND WORLD ECONOMIC FORUM – JANUARY 28, 2010

Khan Manka, Jr.: Thank you very much President Sarkozy for that incredible introduction.  I had no idea of the impact I and my company have had on you throughout your life.  I was genuinely moved by your words.  Give my love to your smoking hot wife.

[French President Nicolas Sarkozy embraces Khan Manka, Jr. and exits the stage.]

Khan Manka, Jr.: Thanks to the World Economic Forum Committee – or as I like to call them “The Drunken Dozen” – for choosing me to address this conference.  It’s not often that an ex-hippie song plugger from the Laurel Canyon neighborhood of Los Angeles gets this kind of an opportunity.  But it’s not often that a hippie song plugger from Laurel Canyon becomes the head of the World’s Largest Media Company.  I can thank my bastard dad (legendary Hollywood mogul and Manka Bros. founding brother Harry Manka) for dying 35 years ago and sticking me with this suck ass job.

[Khan Manka, Jr. has to hold while the audience laughs uproariously.]

Khan Manka, Jr.: Let me get right to it.  You bankers with your ski resort conferences and presentations looking for answers on what went wrong is such a joke to me.

[A few audible hisses and one very loud “bull shit” is heard from the crowd.]

Adrian Monck, Al Berkeley, Alan Marcus, Alex Wong, Andre Schneider, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Ben Silverman, Carine Benetti, Carla Bruni-Sarkozy, Carlos Ghosn, Carsten Sudhoff, Christine Lagarde, Christophe Weber, Cristiana Falcone, David Aikman, Davos World Economic Forum, Denise Burnet, Dominic Waughray, Electus, Emilio Lozoya Austin, Ernesto Zedillo Ponce de Leon, Fon Mathuros, Giancarlo Bruno, Gilbert Probst, Guy Goodwin, Guy-Serge Baer, H.M. Queen Rania, Harry Manka, Heizo Takenaka, Helena Leurent, Indra Nooyi, Irene Mia, Ivan Pictet, Jean-Loup Denereaz, Jean-Pierre Rosso, Jeff Immelt, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jennifer Blanke, Jeremy Jurgens, John Moavenzadeh, Josef Ackermann, Joseph Schoendorf, Julianne Jammers, Katerine Tweedie, Kevin Steinberg, Khan Manka, Klaus Schwab, Kofi Annan, Kristel Van der Elst, Kurt Alig, Laurent Desnoux, Lee Howell, Lisa Dreier, Logan Stanton, Malte Godbersen, Manka Bros., Margareta Drzeniek Hanouz, Martina Gmur, Massimo Marino, Maurice Levy, Max von Bismarck, Melanie Rogers, Michael Dell, Mirjam Schoning, Nazi gold, Niall FitzGerald, Nicolas Sarkozy, Olivier Raynaud, OnMedea, Orit Gadiesh, Paul Smyke, Peter Brabeck-Letmathe, Peter Sutherland, Piers Cumberlege, Pratik Bhatnagar, Rajat Gupta, Regula Waltenspuel, Richard Samans, Ricky Van Veen, Robert Greenhill, Rupert Murdoch, Saadia Zahidi, Sarita Nayyar, Sheana Tambourgi, Sherif El Diwany, Stephanie Janet, Stephen Kinnock, Sumner Redstone, Susan Hockfield, Sushant Palakurthi Rao, Terry Semel, Tony Blair, Victor L.L. Chu, William George, world's largest media companyKhan Manka, Jr.: Fuck you guys.  The global economy is not a difficult thing to figure out.  Make shit that people want to buy and sell it for a price that people can pay.  There is a reason Manka Bros. is the World’s Largest Media Company.  It’s simple.  It’s because we are the biggest and we are not stupid.  When Jimmy Cameron came to me and said he wanted to make a $400 million dollar movie about blue people set on a distant planet, I passed.  No fucking way am I shooting a movie on another planet.  It’s expensive enough in California!

[Silence.]

Khan Manka, Jr.:
I then asked him if he had any teenage Frankenstein movies.  Actually, he did.  I’m happy to say Manka Bros. has started production on James Cameron’s “Frankie Stein” – for a budget that is almost half of what it cost to make AvatarTHAT’S good business.  That’s why we’re still IN business.

[Silence.]

Khan Manka, Jr.: The media world is especially easy to figure out.  Everybody is trying to come up with new business models, new gadgets, new ways for people to experience the crappy shit we all produce.  Translation:  We’ve got to exploit this horrible movie or TV series on multiple platforms so we can get our money back.  MAKE GOOD CONTENT AND PEOPLE WILL BUY IT.  If you want to stick it on an iPad or a Lieberscanner 3000, go right ahead.  But first, find writers who can write, directors who can direct, actors who can act, and producers who can produce.   Everything else will take care of itself.

Adrian Monck, Al Berkeley, Alan Marcus, Alex Wong, Andre Schneider, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Ben Silverman, Carine Benetti, Carla Bruni-Sarkozy, Carlos Ghosn, Carsten Sudhoff, Christine Lagarde, Christophe Weber, Cristiana Falcone, David Aikman, Davos World Economic Forum, Denise Burnet, Dominic Waughray, Electus, Emilio Lozoya Austin, Ernesto Zedillo Ponce de Leon, Fon Mathuros, Giancarlo Bruno, Gilbert Probst, Guy Goodwin, Guy-Serge Baer, H.M. Queen Rania, Harry Manka, Heizo Takenaka, Helena Leurent, Indra Nooyi, Irene Mia, Ivan Pictet, Jean-Loup Denereaz, Jean-Pierre Rosso, Jeff Immelt, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jennifer Blanke, Jeremy Jurgens, John Moavenzadeh, Josef Ackermann, Joseph Schoendorf, Julianne Jammers, Katerine Tweedie, Kevin Steinberg, Khan Manka, Klaus Schwab, Kofi Annan, Kristel Van der Elst, Kurt Alig, Laurent Desnoux, Lee Howell, Lisa Dreier, Logan Stanton, Malte Godbersen, Manka Bros., Margareta Drzeniek Hanouz, Martina Gmur, Massimo Marino, Maurice Levy, Max von Bismarck, Melanie Rogers, Michael Dell, Mirjam Schoning, Nazi gold, Niall FitzGerald, Nicolas Sarkozy, Olivier Raynaud, OnMedea, Orit Gadiesh, Paul Smyke, Peter Brabeck-Letmathe, Peter Sutherland, Piers Cumberlege, Pratik Bhatnagar, Rajat Gupta, Regula Waltenspuel, Richard Samans, Ricky Van Veen, Robert Greenhill, Rupert Murdoch, Saadia Zahidi, Sarita Nayyar, Sheana Tambourgi, Sherif El Diwany, Stephanie Janet, Stephen Kinnock, Sumner Redstone, Susan Hockfield, Sushant Palakurthi Rao, Terry Semel, Tony Blair, Victor L.L. Chu, William George, world's largest media company[Applause and a few shouts of approval.]

Khan Manka, Jr.: You international bankers are a real freaky bunch.  You love to find ways not to give me money for my movies.  It’s not like you’re strapped for cash.  You recovered and kept all that gold the Nazi’s stole, for Christ’s sake!

[There is gasp from the audience.]

Khan Manka, Jr.: But you’ll all be sorry.  We’ve got a great film slate.  I thought you idiots liked Will Ferrell.  We’ve got three movies with him ready to go:  “Gregory Lopez: Excellent Plumber”, “Ray Edwards: African Explorer”, and, my favorite, “Mud Jenkins:  County Assessor”.  We’re going to make billions with or without your precious money… that you stole!

[A red light flashes in Khan Manka, Jr.’s face.]

Adrian Monck, Al Berkeley, Alan Marcus, Alex Wong, Andre Schneider, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Ben Silverman, Carine Benetti, Carla Bruni-Sarkozy, Carlos Ghosn, Carsten Sudhoff, Christine Lagarde, Christophe Weber, Cristiana Falcone, David Aikman, Davos World Economic Forum, Denise Burnet, Dominic Waughray, Electus, Emilio Lozoya Austin, Ernesto Zedillo Ponce de Leon, Fon Mathuros, Giancarlo Bruno, Gilbert Probst, Guy Goodwin, Guy-Serge Baer, H.M. Queen Rania, Harry Manka, Heizo Takenaka, Helena Leurent, Indra Nooyi, Irene Mia, Ivan Pictet, Jean-Loup Denereaz, Jean-Pierre Rosso, Jeff Immelt, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jennifer Blanke, Jeremy Jurgens, John Moavenzadeh, Josef Ackermann, Joseph Schoendorf, Julianne Jammers, Katerine Tweedie, Kevin Steinberg, Khan Manka, Klaus Schwab, Kofi Annan, Kristel Van der Elst, Kurt Alig, Laurent Desnoux, Lee Howell, Lisa Dreier, Logan Stanton, Malte Godbersen, Manka Bros., Margareta Drzeniek Hanouz, Martina Gmur, Massimo Marino, Maurice Levy, Max von Bismarck, Melanie Rogers, Michael Dell, Mirjam Schoning, Nazi gold, Niall FitzGerald, Nicolas Sarkozy, Olivier Raynaud, OnMedea, Orit Gadiesh, Paul Smyke, Peter Brabeck-Letmathe, Peter Sutherland, Piers Cumberlege, Pratik Bhatnagar, Rajat Gupta, Regula Waltenspuel, Richard Samans, Ricky Van Veen, Robert Greenhill, Rupert Murdoch, Saadia Zahidi, Sarita Nayyar, Sheana Tambourgi, Sherif El Diwany, Stephanie Janet, Stephen Kinnock, Sumner Redstone, Susan Hockfield, Sushant Palakurthi Rao, Terry Semel, Tony Blair, Victor L.L. Chu, William George, world's largest media companyKhan Manka, Jr.: I’m being told to wrap it up.  So I will end with these words from my Uncle – the great Khan Manka, Sr. – “Hollywood is a town where everybody is desperate for success and nearly everyone fails.  But if you are a mogul and you make movies, you will get laid… a lot.”  Thank you.  I’ll be drinking tonight with the Money Honey at the Hotel Eden bar if anyone would like to come over and get drunk with me.

[Khan Manka, Jr. exits the stage.]

Adam Fogelson, Alan Spoon, Alexander von Furstenberg, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Arthur Martinez, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Brad Grey, Brian Roberts, Bryan Lourd, Chase Carey, Craig Smith, David Geffen, David Rosenblatt, Donald R. Keough, Donna Langley, Edgard Bronfman, Electus, Ezra Kucharz, fairy tale movies, Graham Stanton, Greg Blatt, Greg Morrow, Greg Stevens, Gregg Winiarski, Hans Woolley, Harry Sloan, Hey Diddle Diddle, Jason Stewart, Jay Herratti, Jeff Sagansky, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Jill Kennedy, Joanne Hawkins, Joey Levin, John C. Malone, John Ferriter, John Foley, John Malone, Josh Abramson, Jr., Kara Swisher, Khan Manka, Louis Castle, Manka Bros., Mark Stein, Michael Eisner, Michael Schwerdtman, Michael Zeisser, Nikki Finke, Notional, On Medea, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Peter Chernin, Phillippe Dauman, Richard F. Zannino, Rick Finkelstein, Ricky Van Veen, Ron Meyer, Rupert Murdoch, Scott Garell, Scott Savitz, Shana Fisher, Sharon Waxman, Stacey Snider, Steve Burke, Steve Jobs, Steven Spielberg, Sumner Redstone, Terry Semel, Thomas J. McInerney, Tina Brown, Tony DiSanto, Victor KaufmanKhan Manka, Jr. – Chairman & CEO – Manka Bros. StudiosThe World’s Largest Media Company