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Oct
09

MIPCOM 2012 – Khan Manka, Jr. Keynote Address

[The following is a transcript of Khan Manka, Jr.'s keynote address at MIPCOM 2012.  A disclaimer: Mr. Manka arrived late and was unable to have his speech entered into the TelePrompTer so his prepared remarks were not given.]

Allen & Company retreat, Ari Emanuel, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Carol Bartz, DumbDumb, Electus, Eric Schmidt, Gina Bianchini, Herb Allen, Herb Allen Sun Valley Conference, Herbert Allen, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jerry Yang, Khan Manka, Lady Gaga, Leslie Moonves, Lloyd Grohl, Manka Bros., Marissa Mayer, Mark Pincus, Mark Zuckerberg, Peter Chernin, Phillippe Dauman, Reid Hoffman, Richard Parsons, Ricky Van Veen, Rupert Murdoch, Sergey Brin, Sheryl Sandberg, Steve Jobs, Sun Valley Retreat, Sun Valley Retreat 2010, Terry Semel, World's Largest Media Company, Chase Carey, James Murdoch, Elisabeth Murdoch, Lachlan Murdoch, Jim Gianopulos, Joel Klein, Jon Miller, Steve Burke, Michael Angelakis, Leslie Moonves, Philippe Dauman, Jeff Bewkes, John Martin, Howard Stringer, Rob Wiesenthal, Michael Lynton, John Malone, Greg Maffei, Haim Saban, David Zaslav, John Hendricks, Mike White, Edgar Bronfman, Len Blavatnik, Tim Armstrong, Peter Chernin, Tom Freston, Carol Bartz, Jerry Yang, Mark Pincus, Owen Van Natta, Brian Roberts, Jason Kilar, Wayne Willich, Reid Hoffman, Harvey Weinstein, Diane Von Furstenberg, Andrew Mason, Jason Kilar, Ben Horowitz, Gina Bianchini, Mark Pincus, Ali Pincus, Robert Wiesenthal, Tom Freston, Bing Gordon, Bill Gates, Chris Christie, Martin Sorrell, Eric Lefkofsky, Oprah Winfrey, Jeff Bezos, Tim Cook, Cory Booker, Michael Bloomberg, Joel Klein, Lachlan Murdoch, James Murdoch, Bobby Kotick, Marc Andreessen, Peter Thiel, Dick Costolo, Ross Levinsoh, Paul Sagan, Leslie Moonves, Tim Armstrong, Glenn Britt, Donald Graham, Kazuo Hirai, Howard Stringer, Jae-Yong Lee, Bryan Lourd, Ron Meyer, Brad Grey, Edmund Lee, Anthony Palazzo, John Malone, Chris Silbermann, Jim Berkus, Roger Goodell, David Stern, Chris Christie, Julius Genachowski, Erin Burnett, Charlie Rose, Becky Quick, Todd Davidson, Reed Hastings, Terry Semel, Jerry Yang, Ken Allen, Laurene Powell Jobs, Jean-Bernard Levy, Lucian Grainge, Jonathan Boyar, Mark Pincus, Michael Lynton, Mandy Tavakol, Mario Monti, Dave DeVoe, John Martin, Brian Roberts, David Zaslav, Mel Karmazin, Carol Bartz, Scott Thompson, Jason Kilar, King Abdullah II, Queen Rania, Queen Noor, #sv12, #Sunvalley2012, #allenco, Robert Johnson, Anne Sweeney, Brian Grazer, Michael Ovitz, Hiroshi Mikitani, Owen Van Natta, Don MattrickMIPCOM 2012 – KHAN MANKA, JR. KEYNOTE ADDRESS

“Rock You Like A Hurricane” plays as Khan Manka, Jr. walks to the MIPCOM podium.

Khan Manka, Jr. (KMJ): Look, we’re all a little fucked up today. I left my speech at the Carlton Bar this morning – technically last night – right, Ben?

Ben Silverman, in the front row, wearing sunglasses and a fedora, gives a thumbs up.

KMJ:  Damn, dude, you know a lot of crazy chicks! But I don’t need my speech.  I know what I want to say – and it’s much better than what Harvey Weinstein said earlier, right? Come on, I’ll fight all of you! Is it just me or is Harvey Weinstein starting to look more and more every day  like Charles Laughton in Hunchback of Notre Dame.  Huh?!

The lights flash on and off.

KMJ: OK OK – I get it. No fat Harvey jokes – allright! Jesus freakin’ Christ. Apparently, the head of MIPCOM – I don’t know his name – I’ll call him DICK COM – doesn’t like jokes. But, of course, Steve Levitan comes out here and does some lame ass shit and you’re falling all over the floor. I’ll bet you wouldn’t have laughed at that crap before he was famous.

Another flash of the lights.

Allen & Company retreat, Ari Emanuel, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Carol Bartz, DumbDumb, Electus, Eric Schmidt, Gina Bianchini, Herb Allen, Herb Allen Sun Valley Conference, Herbert Allen, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jerry Yang, Khan Manka, Lady Gaga, Leslie Moonves, Lloyd Grohl, Manka Bros., Marissa Mayer, Mark Pincus, Mark Zuckerberg, Peter Chernin, Phillippe Dauman, Reid Hoffman, Richard Parsons, Ricky Van Veen, Rupert Murdoch, Sergey Brin, Sheryl Sandberg, Steve Jobs, Sun Valley Retreat, Sun Valley Retreat 2010, Terry Semel, World's Largest Media Company, Chase Carey, James Murdoch, Elisabeth Murdoch, Lachlan Murdoch, Jim Gianopulos, Joel Klein, Jon Miller, Steve Burke, Michael Angelakis, Leslie Moonves, Philippe Dauman, Jeff Bewkes, John Martin, Howard Stringer, Rob Wiesenthal, Michael Lynton, John Malone, Greg Maffei, Haim Saban, David Zaslav, John Hendricks, Mike White, Edgar Bronfman, Len Blavatnik, Tim Armstrong, Peter Chernin, Tom Freston, Carol Bartz, Jerry Yang, Mark Pincus, Owen Van Natta, Brian Roberts, Jason Kilar, Wayne Willich, Reid Hoffman, Harvey Weinstein, Diane Von Furstenberg, Andrew Mason, Jason Kilar, Ben Horowitz, Gina Bianchini, Mark Pincus, Ali Pincus, Robert Wiesenthal, Tom Freston, Bing Gordon, Bill Gates, Chris Christie, Martin Sorrell, Eric Lefkofsky, Oprah Winfrey, Jeff Bezos, Tim Cook, Cory Booker, Michael Bloomberg, Joel Klein, Lachlan Murdoch, James Murdoch, Bobby Kotick, Marc Andreessen, Peter Thiel, Dick Costolo, Ross Levinsoh, Paul Sagan, Leslie Moonves, Tim Armstrong, Glenn Britt, Donald Graham, Kazuo Hirai, Howard Stringer, Jae-Yong Lee, Bryan Lourd, Ron Meyer, Brad Grey, Edmund Lee, Anthony Palazzo, John Malone, Chris Silbermann, Jim Berkus, Roger Goodell, David Stern, Chris Christie, Julius Genachowski, Erin Burnett, Charlie Rose, Becky Quick, Todd Davidson, Reed Hastings, Terry Semel, Jerry Yang, Ken Allen, Laurene Powell Jobs, Jean-Bernard Levy, Lucian Grainge, Jonathan Boyar, Mark Pincus, Michael Lynton, Mandy Tavakol, Mario Monti, Dave DeVoe, John Martin, Brian Roberts, David Zaslav, Mel Karmazin, Carol Bartz, Scott Thompson, Jason Kilar, King Abdullah II, Queen Rania, Queen Noor, #sv12, #Sunvalley2012, #allenco, Robert Johnson, Anne Sweeney, Brian Grazer, Michael Ovitz, Hiroshi Mikitani, Owen Van Natta, Don MattrickKMJ:  FUCK YOU – I UNDERSTAND! Television. Let’s talk television. I disagree with anyone who says this is a new Golden Age of television. They called the 50s the Golden Age. But what was the 70s? Goddamned Norman Lear? How could not call that a Golden Age? There was a lot of golden crap produced in the 1950s and every decade after that. For every “Modern Family” produced there is a “Mob Doctor” or, Jesus, “Mob Wives” – sorry, Ben, but it’s total shit and should be against the law – or at least against the laws of God.

Ben Silverman is talking to the waitress who brought over his drink order and is not paying attention.

KMJ: Look, at Manka Bros. we don’t believe in platitudes – we simply produce the world’s best television. There is no question about that. It’s not subjective. It is a fact. But that doesn’t mean we’re profitable. Our fucking international buying agents clearly have had their heads up their asses for several years now. I recommend you all go to our website and check the fall schedule for MBS. Not a flop in the bunch. Suck on that, Fox! LOOK OUT BELOW!

Khan Manka, Jr. wavers a bit and then falls to the floor. He quickly pops back up, takes a cocktail from Ben Silverman and continues.

Allen & Company retreat, Ari Emanuel, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Carol Bartz, DumbDumb, Electus, Eric Schmidt, Gina Bianchini, Herb Allen, Herb Allen Sun Valley Conference, Herbert Allen, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jerry Yang, Khan Manka, Lady Gaga, Leslie Moonves, Lloyd Grohl, Manka Bros., Marissa Mayer, Mark Pincus, Mark Zuckerberg, Peter Chernin, Phillippe Dauman, Reid Hoffman, Richard Parsons, Ricky Van Veen, Rupert Murdoch, Sergey Brin, Sheryl Sandberg, Steve Jobs, Sun Valley Retreat, Sun Valley Retreat 2010, Terry Semel, World's Largest Media Company, Chase Carey, James Murdoch, Elisabeth Murdoch, Lachlan Murdoch, Jim Gianopulos, Joel Klein, Jon Miller, Steve Burke, Michael Angelakis, Leslie Moonves, Philippe Dauman, Jeff Bewkes, John Martin, Howard Stringer, Rob Wiesenthal, Michael Lynton, John Malone, Greg Maffei, Haim Saban, David Zaslav, John Hendricks, Mike White, Edgar Bronfman, Len Blavatnik, Tim Armstrong, Peter Chernin, Tom Freston, Carol Bartz, Jerry Yang, Mark Pincus, Owen Van Natta, Brian Roberts, Jason Kilar, Wayne Willich, Reid Hoffman, Harvey Weinstein, Diane Von Furstenberg, Andrew Mason, Jason Kilar, Ben Horowitz, Gina Bianchini, Mark Pincus, Ali Pincus, Robert Wiesenthal, Tom Freston, Bing Gordon, Bill Gates, Chris Christie, Martin Sorrell, Eric Lefkofsky, Oprah Winfrey, Jeff Bezos, Tim Cook, Cory Booker, Michael Bloomberg, Joel Klein, Lachlan Murdoch, James Murdoch, Bobby Kotick, Marc Andreessen, Peter Thiel, Dick Costolo, Ross Levinsoh, Paul Sagan, Leslie Moonves, Tim Armstrong, Glenn Britt, Donald Graham, Kazuo Hirai, Howard Stringer, Jae-Yong Lee, Bryan Lourd, Ron Meyer, Brad Grey, Edmund Lee, Anthony Palazzo, John Malone, Chris Silbermann, Jim Berkus, Roger Goodell, David Stern, Chris Christie, Julius Genachowski, Erin Burnett, Charlie Rose, Becky Quick, Todd Davidson, Reed Hastings, Terry Semel, Jerry Yang, Ken Allen, Laurene Powell Jobs, Jean-Bernard Levy, Lucian Grainge, Jonathan Boyar, Mark Pincus, Michael Lynton, Mandy Tavakol, Mario Monti, Dave DeVoe, John Martin, Brian Roberts, David Zaslav, Mel Karmazin, Carol Bartz, Scott Thompson, Jason Kilar, King Abdullah II, Queen Rania, Queen Noor, #sv12, #Sunvalley2012, #allenco, Robert Johnson, Anne Sweeney, Brian Grazer, Michael Ovitz, Hiroshi Mikitani, Owen Van Natta, Don MattrickKMJ: We’ve developed a new content model at Manka Bros. We call it the Circus-Circus-All-You-Can-Eat-Buffet model. Because it doesn’t matter what you produce – be it a feature film, scripted drama, comedy, reality series, web series – Shields & Yarnell crappy ass mime show – whatever – it’s all about how much and where you consume it. And, like, the Circus Circus Buffet, whether you’re eating those frightening powdered eggs or Cap’n Crunch, it’s all going to come out the same color in the end. And that color is green. Like money color.

Khan Manka, Jr. takes a long drink and closes his eyes for about 10 seconds, regaining his bearings.

KMJ: From this day forward, everything we produce will be available on a worldwide day-and-date basis. If we make a movie, you can watch it on TV, in a theater, at home, on your iPad, in the airplane, at the hotel… in the… in the… toilet. Anywhere you want for as long as you want for one price… $129.95. Any questions?

Nearly every hand raises in the audience. Khan Manka, Jr. stumbles off the stage. Ben Silverman stands and applauds. “Rock You Like A Hurricane” starts to play.

Adam Fogelson, Alan Spoon, Alexander von Furstenberg, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Arthur Martinez, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Brad Grey, Brian Roberts, Bryan Lourd, Chase Carey, Craig Smith, David Geffen, David Rosenblatt, Donald R. Keough, Donna Langley, Edgard Bronfman, Electus, Ezra Kucharz, fairy tale movies, Graham Stanton, Greg Blatt, Greg Morrow, Greg Stevens, Gregg Winiarski, Hans Woolley, Harry Sloan, Hey Diddle Diddle, Jason Stewart, Jay Herratti, Jeff Sagansky, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Jill Kennedy, Joanne Hawkins, Joey Levin, John C. Malone, John Ferriter, John Foley, John Malone, Josh Abramson, Jr., Kara Swisher, Khan Manka, Louis Castle, Manka Bros., Mark Stein, Michael Eisner, Michael Schwerdtman, Michael Zeisser, Nikki Finke, Notional, On Medea, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Peter Chernin, Phillippe Dauman, Richard F. Zannino, Rick Finkelstein, Ricky Van Veen, Ron Meyer, Rupert Murdoch, Scott Garell, Scott Savitz, Shana Fisher, Sharon Waxman, Stacey Snider, Steve Burke, Steve Jobs, Steven Spielberg, Sumner Redstone, Terry Semel, Thomas J. McInerney, Tina Brown, Tony DiSanto, Victor KaufmanKhan Manka, Jr. – Chairman & CEO – Manka Bros. StudiosThe World’s Largest Media Company

 

Permanent link to this article: http://mankabros.com/blogs/chairman/2012/10/09/mipcom-2012-khan-manka-jr-keynote-address/

3 comments

2 pings

  1. Nate Catt says:

    What’s a media conference without a drunken keynote from the great Khan Manka!

  2. Salingers Ghost says:

    Aweome. If only all keynote addresses could be this entertaining!

  3. Jason Elkin says:

    I have two project being presented at MIpcom. If you’re there, Please take a look at them. Matriarch Multimedia Group/Paramount Pictures is representing them. The first is “Jason Elkin Uncorked!” a wine, food, lifestyle travel Tv show and the other is “WET”, an interactive wine show for big screens or movie theater’s intended for Disney, Cruise ships and Las Vegas. The last project is also available in 3D! Cheers,

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