Due to the uncertainty of the fiscal cliff, the fact that my taxes are going up, the shitty year Manka Bros. has had at the box office, the crappy television shows that were produced for our horrible television networks, declining music sales and the frightening losses in our Publishing Group, I have decided to cancel the 2012 Manka Bros. Employee Holiday Party that was to be held at the Nokia Theater and the other surrounding L.A. Live venues and restaurants.
I have requested L.A. Live management to return our substantial deposit.
I know many of you were looking forward to seeing One Direction, Lady Antebellum and Seamus (who also must return their deposits). Too bad.
If you are better at your jobs next year, maybe we’ll try something like this again. (However, if one of the overpaid executives at the studio would like to pay for it out of his or her own pocket, then I won’t stop you – in fact, I’ll even come and drink all the $100 shots of tequila I can handle).
But this being the season of giving, I don’t want you to get absolutely nothing from your employer for the Holidays – so for the next week, the Cafeteria is offering 10% off one slice of pizza.
Have a drunk but safe Holiday season and let’s make 2013 a year that doesn’t suck.
Khan Manka, Jr. - Chairman & CEO - Manka Bros. Studios - The World’s Largest Media Company
Khan Manka, Jr. assumed the title of Chairman & CEO of 
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15 comments
Disgruntled Employee says:
December 6, 2012 at 11:08 am (UTC -7 )
Not cool, old man. At Disney they get the theme park to themselves. At Universal they get a party and cases of booze. This is bullshit.
Khan Manka says:
December 6, 2012 at 11:14 am (UTC -7 )
What’s your actual name, Disgruntled Employee and what department do you work in? I need that information so I can fire your ass.
Dan O says:
December 6, 2012 at 12:29 pm (UTC -7 )
Bummer.
prancerberg says:
December 7, 2012 at 3:23 am (UTC -7 )
At least Manka Brothers doesn’t have to worry about Catwoman and Wolverine in Les Mis. Sell that Comcast stock right now and beat the January rush.
Tex Shelters says:
December 9, 2012 at 10:51 am (UTC -7 )
I too will be canceling my holiday parties because of the Fiscal Cliff. I have also laid of all my food service workers and gotten special permits to give work visas to a thousand Mexicans to work the prison food service lines I run for CCA. You see, I won’t have to pay for their Obamacare since they aren’t legal residents, just migrant workers.
God bless America, God bless Haunted Alligators! Here’s a freebie: Alligator Zombies, or better yet, in Brazil, Crocozombies, if SyFy hasn’t done it yet.
Peace and prosperity,
Tex Shelters, CEO of Tex Shelters Industries, LLC, USA
John Boehner says:
December 19, 2012 at 10:37 pm (UTC -7 )
Never trust anyone named Khan! It’s all kewl, I’m sticking up for the filthy rich! I’ll drive the bus right off the cliff. The Chairman is just using the cliff as a lame excuse.
justagirl says:
December 19, 2012 at 11:05 pm (UTC -7 )
Booooooooooooooooooooo. meanwhile they’ll waste even more company money claiming cutbacks due to taxes. Terrible is putting it nicely.
Tru dat says:
December 20, 2012 at 10:57 am (UTC -7 )
I guess no one is going to step in and pay for it.
Barbama says:
December 20, 2012 at 11:39 am (UTC -7 )
You, sir, are a jerk. Taking away the employees party for your own selfish reasons. Shame on you.
Chairman says:
December 20, 2012 at 11:40 am (UTC -7 )
Yeah, well – say it don’t spray it, Barbama.
B says:
December 20, 2012 at 12:30 pm (UTC -7 )
How Jewish.
JB says:
December 20, 2012 at 1:08 pm (UTC -7 )
I think 2013 is going to be a worse year for you old man. If you don’t have civility enough to treat your employees with dignity then your business fails. We have decided to boycott your company sir. We do not like the way that you treat your employees. Very unprofessional and unethical business practices in our opinion.
Have a great new year.
JB
Gaylord Tuffles says:
December 20, 2012 at 1:23 pm (UTC -7 )
I was just wondering – can we still get completely drunk and chase the interns around semi-naked the studio lot? I always enjoyed that part of the celebrations, and it really doesn’t cost too much. Maybe you could set up a Manka Bros Punch Bowl in the parking lot – we’ll bring the booze – so we have that “who gives a fuck its just a work party” excuse to get out of control. Just a thought – might get our creativity started up a bit so we don’t have to keep rehashing the same boring plot lines in the TV mini-series we keep dredging up with different names and body doubles. Maybe get a body double with really nice tits this time. Just thinking…
Grrrr says:
December 20, 2012 at 3:25 pm (UTC -7 )
You’re not very bright. Leftover income is taxed at the 2012 rate, and year-end bonuses, 401K / profit-sharing contributions and parties are done so to reduce leftover income and tax liability for 2012.
In 2013, the taxes that are increased (income and payroll) would push employment costs up and cut into profit, but it shouldn’t cause you to hold back on expenditures at the year end of 2012.
Bob says:
January 4, 2013 at 3:02 pm (UTC -7 )
Thank God, last years sighting of you and Harvey playing drunken fuckin footsies was the final straw for me anyhow.
How the hell did you think you could get your foot in his fly without ripping it ?
Hooray ! It’s OVERRRRRRRRRRrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr