Newt Gingrich? America Is Seriously F-cked

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Manka Bros. Studios, The World's Largest Media Company, Newt Gingrich, Callista Gingrich, Jackie Battley, Marianne Ginther, Jeff Weiner, Ben Silverman, Rob Johnson, Sonny Perdue, Rick Tyler, Hermain Cain, Mitt Romney, Rick Perry, Michele Bachman, Rick Santorum, Ron PaulGood afternoon.

So the current polls have something called “Newt Gingrich” leading the Republican field by over 10 percentage points.

To quote my daughter:  “This is some seriously fucked up shit.”

First of all, there needs to be a Constitutional Amendment drawn up immediately that says “No one named Newt Gingrich shall ever be allowed to become President of the United States.”

It’s not even his meandering politics or sloppy appearance (a man can believe and eat whatever he wants in this country as long as you keep going to my movies and watching my TV networks).

He’s just a nothing – basically, the biggest “so what?” in the history of the country.

No platitudes here – all true.

I seriously believe this guy would be just as excited to have a part as a mailman on “Two Broke Girls” as he would to be President of the United States.

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Manka Bros. Studios, The World's Largest Media Company, Newt Gingrich, Callista Gingrich, Jackie Battley, Marianne Ginther, Jeff Weiner, Ben Silverman, Rob Johnson, Sonny Perdue, Rick Tyler, Hermain Cain, Mitt Romney, Rick Perry, Michele Bachman, Rick Santorum, Ron PaulAny attention is good for someone like Newt Gingrich who just likes to pontificate on any subject – regardless if he has knowledge or not.  He doesn’t care about where he is or how important the matter may be – he just likes to talk – in a really boring way and without any sense of consequence.

Imagine President Newt Gingrich and the things he may say:

President Newt Gingrich:  “You want to know where I keep the nuclear codes?  It’s actually a pretty interesting story, Old Farmer at a random Denny’s – I keep them in the vegetable drawer of my private refrigerator – it’s the one drawer that didn’t have any food in it.  Bill Clinton used to keep the codes in his pants – ha ha – get it?  Because he cheated on his wife!  I stopped doing that one wife ago!”

President Newt Gringrich:  “I told Vladimir Putin I would back him up in an illegal election if he would open up Russian theatrical distribution for my documentary Nine Days That Changed The World.”

President Newt Gingrich:  “I don’t have time to talk about the budget today, I’m signing copies of my ‘State of the Union Speech’ at a Books A Million in Annapolis.  Sean Hannity’s buying free coffee and donuts for everybody.”

President Newt Gringrich:  You know, I’m the only historian ever elected President.  Which means I know – based on historical fact – who all the great Presidents were like Ronald Reagan and all the shitty Presidents – like Jimmy Carter.”

Etc. etc. etc. – you get the idea.

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Manka Bros. Studios, The World's Largest Media Company, Newt Gingrich, Callista Gingrich, Jackie Battley, Marianne Ginther, Jeff Weiner, Ben Silverman, Rob Johnson, Sonny Perdue, Rick Tyler, Hermain Cain, Mitt Romney, Rick Perry, Michele Bachman, Rick Santorum, Ron PaulI think it was President Lincoln who said it best in the ‘Gettysburg Address’:

‘Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent, a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.  However, should there be at any time in the future a man named Newt Gingrich who decides to run for President – he must not be allowed for the betterment of the world…’

It’s very simple:  No one named Newt Gingrich is allowed to be President of the United States.  

He’s just not allowed.


If Honest Abe doesn’t like Newt, neither do I…

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38 Replies to “Newt Gingrich? America Is Seriously F-cked”

  1. Lincoln, man – that dude had incredible vision. He knew that things would be messed up in 2012. I think that document is the Newt Killer we’ve been looking for.

  2. Here comes the Republican death wish. It’s about to give Obama 4 more years. The spoiled Southerners think they own the White House. They refuse to back a city-slicker yankee like Romney. “Anybody but Romney” just meant “anybody but yankee”. It doesn’t matter that Gingrich is trailing Romney significantly in head-to-head matchups with Obama. It doesn’t matter that most of the rest of the country thinks Bush was a mistake and Gingrich would be an even bigger one. It doesn’t matter that Gingrich has more baggage than an airport. It doesn’t even matter than Gingrich was actually born and raised in Pennsylvania! He made his Congressional career in Georgia and calls the South his home. It doesn’t even matter that Gingrich is a Catholic! He talks the evangelical talk and that’s good enough for the organized political machine of the protestant churches.

    Our only hope is that Romney is given the Vice Presidential nod and that Gingrich becomes terribly ill and has to step down and let Romney take his place.

  3. If Republicans are smart about the election, they vote for Romney. If they are honest to their ideology, they vote for Gingrich.

    They hate Romney, but the public hates Newt.

    Really neither one of these men has proven they can get stuff done. Oh wait, Romney did get something of merit done in Massachusetts–“Romneycare”, the basis for “Obamacare”. I’ll take a pass and see if the Republicans realize that John Huntsman was their best shot, and maybe the best person for the job.

  4. I wouldn’t worry about Newt. It’s not like he’s going to be elected President. Obama beats him easily. EASILY!

  5. A Gingrich nomination would be a disaster for the GOP as all the skeletons would come out of his closet. In 1995 nearly 90% of the American public saw him as unsuitable for the presidency. If he gets the nomination it won’t take long for people to realize why.

  6. Thanks Khan. I would back that amendment. Gingrich is not trustworthy. Republicans who have worked with him in the past have come out publicly and stated their very real concerns about him. That does not bode well. If his fellow Republicans are critical of his leadership and behavior, how can we, the American people, put any faith in him?

  7. Today’s evidence that the GOP Clown Show continues unabated:

    1. Donald Trump quits as moderator of his own debate, leaving Gingrich and Santorum high and dry. Donald sure learned a lot from media wench Sarah Palin.
    2. Cristine O’Donnell (the infamous “I’m not a Witch” Senate Candidate for Delaware), crawls from under a rock and goes on Faux News to announce that she endorses Mitt Romney.
    3. Newt Gingrich continues to conjure nightmare scenarios and his latest Boogeyman is a terrorist with an EMP bomb and wants America to be afraid, be very afraid.

    Anyone who says the GOP is serious about anything is only lying to himself.

  8. People, the guy is legit and for real. All the sniping about this appearance is absolutely ludicrous. On the content and issues, no has the grasp of the content AND the confidence enough to take on Obama in the debates. Can’t wait until we get through the primary season with some real debate on the issues. Newt will present as formidable a challenge as anyone in the republican field, and I, for one, want to see him as the GOP nominee.

  9. What kind of nonsense writing is this? Childish, ego-centric, nonsensical blathering. Let me get this straight: He’s “the biggest nothing in the history of the country”, yet here you are, drawing attention to him in a way that makes you look absolutely ridiculous. A letter from Lincoln?? Come on! Grow up! And tell your daughter to watch her language!

    1. 18% of all Americans believe that Lincoln letter to be authentic. It would be irresponsible for me not to put it out there. My daughter will be fine – she’s already seriously rich.

  10. If Gingrich is the nominee, the president can count on my vote. Krauthammer, Colter, Noonan, all opposed to the nomination of Gingrich but apparently in the republican party the patients are running the asylum. This election is rapidly coming down to whatever it takes to stop Gingrich.

  11. Awesome post! Love it. LMFAO. So far everything moves in the direction of Barack Obama’s re-election with at least 325 Electoral votes even when the jobless rate hovers around 9%.!!!!!

    Most probably, Newt will be the Nominee, which will be cleareer soon after FL…although this year delegates are assigned as per proportional representation, like the Democrats in 2008. Or it could prolong till end of May, 2012.

    Obama is going to whip the Republican Nominee – Newt – like a drum with ease…

    Republican Party has only one Man who can stop Obama: Ron Paul…..

    The contrast will be very CLEAR. Small Govt Vs Big Govt.

    But, Ron will not be acceptable to most of the Republicans… that’s the Tragedy they must face!

  12. I agree that America is f***ed. If the people of the United States of America start believing that the best they can get to lead them is Newt Gingrich, then god have mercy of America…

  13. This is funny. Newt getting wat he deserves. Over-the top serial womanizer should not be on any Christian billboard. Newt need to learn about Catholicism and especially absorb the fact the to Catholics marriage is sacred and that all weddings conducted by a priest, preacher or rabbi are fully honored.

    There is no way for Newt to even pretend that he has Catholic leanings (between us, he’s calculating on getting Pennsylvania
    Catholic voters. He better accept that in the Church, we do not honor serial marriages. Let Newt go back to his barely concealed lobbying from which he has made huge financial gains. Good nite Newt. Go home.

  14. Recycled corrupt politicians running for president. We are scraping the bottom of the barrel here. Lincoln was truly a genius. It’s like the Citizen Kane contract that Orson Welles had where he made sure to get home video rights well before there was home video.

  15. We’ve got the worst slate of candidates in both parties in the history of the country. The next 4 years are going to be ugly no matter who wins.

  16. I do believe he would leave a budget meeting to go to a book signing. He doesn’t care and has no sense of priority. A month long vacation right after kicking off his campaign. He just doesn’t care.

  17. There are countless Gingrich negatives below the surface and above the surface, but most of them are dwarfed by his inexcusable Freddie connection. It’s embarrassing and corrupt – and his attempts to brush it all off make him sound just like the self-righteous Washington insider that he actually is. I don’t want or need this pompous guy (with ZERO executive experience) anywhere near the White House. Huntsman or Romney may not be sexy to most Republicans, but they’re sober, conservative executives with the mainstream appeal to win the White House – and the maturity to keep if for two full terms. But Khan is right – let’s let the Gingrich dream fade into history where it belongs.

  18. I am not one the 18% who believes that document. I do believe Gingrich is a doofus. He is so very strange. He is quite shy about what his plan is for the economy- not very enthusiastic about anything.

    Just because he has been in the congress he wants to be nominated. His attitude is revolting: I am here just nominate me.

  19. Looks as fat as Chris Christie. Smells like pork, looks like a pig, probably is a pig. 3 marriages. Ethics charges while in Congress. Known to throw tantrums and is basically a obese man with diapers. A Catholic facade to claim that he has “repented”. Signs of a morally bankrupt politician and unfit to be the president of the United States.

  20. I love you Americans… You hate so passionately! By the way did i not learn in lower grades that the young one of a tadpole (or is it toad0 is called a Newt??
    I love this Newt guy… he has single handedly managed to unite all Americans!! Go Newt….Go Newt…Go Gang_Rich!!!!!

  21. If I lived in South Carolina – I would vote for Newt. But I’m not saying you should vote for Newt. Or that I am endorsing Newt. What I am saying is that if I lived in South Carolina, I would vote for Newt. But I’m not saying to vote for Newt. I actually have no idea what I am saying. Someone please tell me what to say!

  22. Newt? Who the hell would vote for GinGrinch? The bloodthirsty chickenhawk RACE BAITED and GOADED BLOODSHED (along with Romney) at the Jan 17th Faux Snooze unfair debate.

    I love how these two faced pinheads Perry, Santorum, Gingrich and Romney rip off of Paul’s platform to make theirs look oh so pretty.

    And people booed the golden rule applied to foreign policy by Ron Paul.

    And frenzied into cheering killing people overseas by the other nitwits who want WARWARWAR WITH IRAN. Get over 9/11! Seriously! We’ve killed far more of them than they have us, you ignorant scumbags. Look at the history of the middle east in the late 1900’s. We’re there INTERFERING WHERE WE SHOULDN’T BE.

    America is going in a direction I fear…

  23. The fact that Newt Gingrich is the front runner in any state (even South Carolina) is a complete joke. The Republican party should be embarrassed to have this man be the face of their party.  He must be stopped.  It truly shows how messed up the country is if someone like that can go this far.

  24. Give Newt a break! Give him a break because he’s an old school politician just trying to re live the old glory days. H’es got no chance,let Newt do his show one last time.

    What is more freighting is what is going to replace his type. “The consumer friendly president”! He’s a corporate invention made to appeal to everyone while they pull the real strings and keep us entertained in this life that is fast becoming a living commercial. =P

  25. Wow, you didn’t even have to mention the ex-wife with cancer that he had an affair on, and served divorce papers to, in order to make a valid case for this amendment. I’ll write my representative right now, and encourage support for the Amendment. I suppose we’ll only get 48 states’ support to ratify it, less Georgia and South Carolina morons. Anyway, more than enough. I’m on board!

  26. I have always been a Die Hard Republican !
    If Newt gets the nod from my GOP, I’ll cross over and vote Demigod!
    I would rather wait another four years before I help put or not try and stop the biggest embarrassment in the history of my party the GOP into the highest seat of office in the USA!

  27. America is a nation of idiots!

    The republican Flim Flam man is on the move.

    The fact he even got this far in a PRESIDENTIAL race is a warning to you all. He panders to the room temperature IQ republican base who along with the Social Conservative (superstitious religious types) should be candidates for retroactive birth control. America has it’s head up it’s collective asses!

    The attitude of ancient Imperial Rome repeats itself.

    Ya, …And we all know how well that worked.

  28. Speaker Gingrich is the Man!!! He will not only serve up Obama back to Chicago he WILL shake up the Big MONEY in DC!! why do you think they are so dam afraid of him! He will NOT be their PUPPET! This guy has made his millions, had his “hay day” both politically and romantically! The ONLY reason he is running is to avenge those who have screwed up this Country so bad he can’t stand it!!! He did NOT come from money like Romney and ALL of those who are against him. He lived over top of a gas station in PA and a million other shit holes while his father served in the military. He TRULY did NOT inherit money. ROMNEY LIES and says he has earned every penny??Funny, his Billionair father bought his first million dollar home that was pictured all over the web! Romney WANTS this to seal his billion dollar bank account, by the time he greases ALL the palms in DC the woking people will NOT have a dam dime!! Gingrich will enjoy like a little troll taking their MONEY From them LEGALLY, And they can’t stand it. Like they say pay backs are a bitch! But you know what…I will jump on the Gingrich CHANGE wagon anytime. I am sick and tired of working two jobs for the ROMNEYS of this Country as well as those who would not work as long as this gov’t will keep handing my money to them. They love to make fun of Gingrich but they know he has forgotten more than they will ever know! I could care less if the guy is fat, ulgy, had fifty million women…could care LESS! As long as his fact ulgy ass RUNS this Country well, GOOD FOR HIM!!

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