For the second straight year, because it was a horrible year for the studio, I have cancelled the planned Holiday Party Extravaganza at the Downtown L.A. Live complex. Please inform your children that Santa Claus has been canned and will not be there.
Because not one of the business divisions stepped up and even made the slightest attempt to improve the numbers, there will be no ice skating, no drunking, no gift bags full of amazing shit – no holiday cheer.
If you’re looking for fun this holiday season, try crashing a Disney or Warner Bros. party. They had much better years. Maybe Santa will be there.
If anyone needs me, I will be at my house in The Seychelles attempting to figure out how we survive another year with the crappy bunch of employees I have working for me.
I realize that morale is a delicate thing – but I’ve been coddling you sons and daughters of bitches for too long!
2014 will be the Year of the Hammer (if you know what I mean).
Over the two days I am giving you off (December 25 and January 1), take some time to review your failures of the past year(s) and be prepared to convince me why I should still employ you after I return to the studio in January.
Khan Manka, Jr. – Chairman & CEO – Manka Bros. Studios – The World’s Largest Media Company
[dictated but not read]