Good afternoon.
As the writer of a wildly popular blog (I only started it to better communicate with my employees at Manka Bros.) and the fact that I am a major figure in the media world, I receive quite a few offers to endorse products.
Most of them shit products like Coke or BMW.
Frankly, there is nothing I would rather do less than endorse someone else’s stupid product. It offends me that anyone thinks they can buy my services for any price.
If you want to hire a whore, call Jay McBee (President of the Manka Bros. Television Group) or Michael Eisner or Ben Silverman (!!).
So when the good people of Camel called my office to see if I wanted to push their Turkish Gold cigarettes on my blog, I was completely offended and told them to get the fuck off my phone!
Who the hell do they think they are? I’m Khan Fucking Manka!
I don’t push YOUR products – you push MINE!
Assholes!
I don’t need to be paid a boatload of money by some greedy corporation to express my love for Camel Turkish Gold cigarettes.
Seriously, each drag of a Camel Turkish Gold cigarette is super smooth – silky almost. Like an autumn breeze in Instanbul.
It’s the only cigarette I would ever smoke.
Camel Turkish Gold – “Breathe In The Turkish!”
Khan Manka, Jr. – Chairman & CEO – Manka Bros. Studios – The World’s Largest Media Company
P.S. Camel Turkish Gold is the sole sponsor of Forensics on MBS.
Khan Manka, Jr. assumed the title of Chairman & CEO of 
Loading tweets...
4 comments
3 pings
Miss Daly says:
September 16, 2011 at 2:44 pm (UTC -7 )
Mr. Manka you have made your point. You cannot be bought. Congratulations on making me want to go out and smoke.
Barfin Bob says:
September 16, 2011 at 3:34 pm (UTC -7 )
Oh, I breathe in the Turkish – every day on the bus.
Joe Camel says:
September 16, 2011 at 3:45 pm (UTC -7 )
I am smooth… smooth like a desert cactus in June.
4 Shame says:
September 16, 2011 at 4:12 pm (UTC -7 )
My 3 month old baby reads this blog. Now you’ve got him smoking cigarettes. Thanks, asshole.
The Producers Guild Can Suck It » Chairman's Blog says:
January 3, 2012 at 2:01 pm (UTC -7 )
[...] really odd. I sent cases of Opus One to that fucking place. (And I sent cartons of Camel Turkish Blend cigarettes to the Hollywood Foreign Press which didn’t result in any nominations [...]
The Academy Of Motion Picture Arts And Sciences Can F Itself » Chairman's Blog says:
January 24, 2012 at 10:33 am (UTC -7 )
[...] if you’re in the Hollywood Foreign Press – who can also fuck off – a carton of Camel Turkish Gold [...]
The Hollywood Foreign Press Association Can F Themselves » Chairman's Blog says:
December 13, 2012 at 10:00 am (UTC -7 )
[...] To hedge my bets even further (and with a line-up like we had last year, I shouldn’t have had to bribe anybody), I sent cartons of Camel Turkish Blend cigarettes [...]