Politics – Those Damn Kids

March 21, 2018July 23, 2019

For Christ’s Sake – If Trump’s Team Say They Are Cooperating – They Are Not

Oh, my freakin’ God!

How many stories are there in newspapers and internet that talk about Trump’s lawyers and Trump officials cooperating with an investigation?

THEY ARE NOT COOPERATING! WHY THE F WOULD YOU THINK THAT?

Just because they say they are handing over documents doesn’t mean they are handing over incriminating documents (which we know there are hundreds).

Nixon shredded everything like a son of a bitch. Don’t you think any incriminating documents from Trump have already been deleted and / or shredded.

THERE IS NO RECORD OF CRIMINAL ACTIVITY. They are less transparent than O.J. and yet everyone still writes stories like: “Trump campaign cooperating with Mueller!”

They will never turn over incriminating evidence (even though there is so much) and they will be never asked to turn it over.

WAKE THE FUCK UP!
JESUS CHRIST!

Lester Aldrich, Those Damn Kids

September 23, 2017September 23, 2017

Why Would Any Pathetic Moronic Person Ever Work For Trump?

Seriously, I want to know. Because who needs that BS abuse when most of those on the payroll could easily retire.

There is no future working for Trump. There is no glory working for Trump.

There is no reason. I need to know.

Please let me know in the comments because I am absolutely confused.

Lester Aldrich – Those Damn Kids

July 2, 2015August 6, 2015

Greece – Before and After The Referendum

There is great concern in Greece about the Referendum on whether to stay in the Eurozone or exit.

I actually know exactly what will happen and how things will change. Nothing much will happen and nothing much will change.

If the majority votes “Yes,” expect to see this:

If the majority votes “No,” expect to see this:

I’ll talk at you next week…

Lester Aldrich – Those Damn Kids

June 17, 2015June 30, 2015

America Needs Donald Trump To Become President

Good afternoon from Michigan.

I’m 88-years-old and really falling apart. I may not even make to the 2016 Election (especially with Those Damn Kids running around on my grass, dropping their crappy chocolate ice cream in Mrs. Aldrich’s flowers and peeing all over my car just after I had it washed – this just all in the last hour!).

They know my hands shake too bad to load my gun with bullets – but one day I’ll get one in the chamber and there will be one less damn kid to ruin my life.

But I digress…

This isn’t about me or my colostomy bag, this is about the future of America and why we need Donald Trump to become President of the United States.

Elections are bullshit.

No one votes anymore.

We had a local election in Lansing a couple of months ago and less than 2% percent voted. There were more volunteers at the polling stations than there were voters.

Donald Trump will change that.

He will be so horrible as a President that by 2020, Americans will do anything to reclaim their God given right to change things through the voting booth.

But if we have another stale boring Presidential race and someone like Jeb Bush or Hillary Clinton becomes President, by 2020 no one will ever want to vote again.

I know I previously said Hillary Clinton will crush anyone who opposes her – and this is still true.

But maybe a village idiot like Donald Trump being elected President would really show us all how ridiculous our democracy has become.

So please, vote for Donald Trump for President – he’s the worst choice in the history of our country and the one we really need right now.

He actually said in his announcement that he would save America if he were elected – that’s one thing he was absolutely right about.

Here’s his Presidential Announcement (a must watch):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q_q61B-DyPk

I’ll talk at you later…

Lester Aldrich – Those Damn Kids

September 10, 2014

Yemen Theme Park Is A Horrible Idea

As an independent contractor at Manka Bros. Studios (which claims to be the World’s Largest Media Company), I am shocked and disgusted at the plan to build a Manka Fun Park in Yemen.

Here is the disturbing announcement:

I have been proud of my years at Manka Bros. and the writing I have accomplished – but this theme park must NOT BE BUILT.

Not only is it a terrible business decision – it is a terrible moral decision.

If the Manka Fun Park Yemen ever opens its gates, I will cut my ties with the company and go work for Disney Blogs.

Lester Aldrich – Those Damn Kids

January 22, 2014January 22, 2014

Christie and McDonnell Nailed All The Seven Deadly Sins

Chris Christie, Lester Aldrich, Those Damn Kids, Bob McDonnell, 7 deadly sins, Warren Buffet, Carl Lewis, Mayor of Hoboken, Mayer of Ft. Lee

This has been a terrible year for two popular Republican Governors… Chris Christie and Bob McDonnell.

Both of their political lives are basically over… “allegedly” (I was told to say by the Manka Bros. lawyers).

There were actually certain people who thought one or both of them could have one day been President!

HA!

At this point, they have a better chance to earn $1 billion from Warren Buffet for picking a perfect NCAA Men’s Basketball Bracket (which is a 1 in a 3.8 trillion chance).

So, let’s run down the 7 DEADLY SINS and see how the great men from Virginia and New Jersey fared:

SIN #1 – LUST:

This is probably the one that no one in America cares about (at least not from these guys). They both obviously had a lust for power but most think of this one in a sexual context – so let’s just assume they had it and let’s try not to think about it any more.

SIN #2 – GLUTTONY:

I’m looking at Governor Christie mainly on this one (butter ain’t butter unless it’s deep fried!). Governor McDonnell obviously has a gluttony for wedding dinners but Governor Christie had a gluttony for everyone else’s dinner.

SIN #3 – GREED:

Governor McDonnell (and wife) – any questions? And Governor Christie’s greed for political endorsements was his undoing – though it’s hard to understand why anyone would be that stupid. As a comparison, Governor Christie easily wins the battle of Greed – like a foot race between Usain Bolt and Betty White.

SIN #4 – SLOTH:

Governor Christie – any questions? In general both men are guilty because they had no desire to cover their tracks. So lazy. Corruption in the digital age has never seen such sloth. How hard is it to hide the bullshit you are attempting to do?

SIN #5 – WRATH:

The wrath by Governor Christie on those who wouldn’t endorse him is (allegedly – HA!) certainly wrath – right, Carl Lewis, Mayor of Hoboken and Mayor of Ft. Lee?

SIN #6 – ENVY:

Both Governors really envy Air Force 1 and would have loved to have been in control of that son of a bitch. Alas, ain’t gonna happen.

Mrs. McDonnell, you really couldn’t wait to demand a Rolex with an inscription? In the words of the whore Julia Roberts from “Pretty Woman” – ‘BIG MISTAKE!’

SIN #7 – PRIDE:

Governor Christie had to boast about being the guy who put the cones down during #Bridgegate. If only that’s all you did. If you kept the bridge open, you may have been President of the United States. And if Bob McDonnell would have…

Nah – Bob McDonnell wouldn’t have been gum sweeper at a Presidential theme park no matter what he did – so I suppose he should have tried to get all the shit he could. He and his wife were just really sloppy.

The real tragedy is Chris Christie – his dreams are dead.

Lester Aldrich – Those Damn Kids

January 15, 2014January 18, 2014

Chris Christie Needs To Give Up

If I ever saw man who was never going to be President of the United States it is Chris Christie.

He just has no chance and should not take one more dollar from a person who wants to donate to his Presidential campaign.

If he had any dignity, he would realize that it’s all over, apologize and figure out what he’s going to do for the rest of his life.

Because he’s not going to be President – and will most likely not hold any elected office ever again.

That’s just the truth.

He reminds me of Those Damn Kids on my block who think they just do whatever they want – walk on my lawn, put burning bags of shit on my porch, toilet paper in my trees – and expect to get away with it.

He has about as much control over his staff as he does with his weight – zero.

Which is also the percentage chance he has to be President.

I’ll talk at you next week…

Lester Aldrich – Those Damn Kids

October 9, 2012October 10, 2012

Mitt Romney Must Not Win – A Plea From An Old Man

I haven’t written in a long time because, frankly, I thought I would be dead by now.

When you live with a colostomy bag you pretty much wish you were dead all the time, but somehow I’m still here.

And so are Those Damn Kids.

Over the weekend, the little fuckers TP’d my house again. It took Mrs. Aldrich all day Saturday and most of Sunday to get that shit crap out of my trees.

But I’m not writing about Those Damn Kids today, I’m writing about Mitt Romney (speaking of shit crap!).

MITT ROMNEY MUST NOT WIN THE PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION!

A Romney victory would be bad for me. Bad for Mrs. Aldrich. Bad for Michigan. Bad for the country. And bad for the whole damn world.

He wants to be President not because he wants to help anyone. He wants to be President because it would be the culmination of a career. The top line of a resume he has been filling out his entire life.

I’m not going to get into his shitty politics and things he plans to do to reward all those who helped him get into office. You can hear and read all of that everywhere else.

Frankly, I’m sick of it and wish it were all over.

This is a gut feeling – and I haven’t had many feelings in my gut for a long time (especially with this fucking jello and broth diet I have to be on until I die!).

I absolutely feel things… are… getting… better.

If Mitt Romney is elected, things… will… get… worse.

Life in Michigan has been a goddamned grind since 2000. There were no boom years under Bush – anyone who tells you that is a liar.

And this isn’t a personal attack on Mr. Romney (though it makes me sick that someone who is 65 looks as young as he does). It’s wrong to live an entire life and not put cigarettes and booze in your system.

How could you live through the 1960s and 1970s without cigarettes and booze?

And this isn’t a religious attack – though I don’t have many Mormon friends (they just never hung out in the same bars as I did). As far as I’m concerned, a person can worship whatever and whomever they like. I don’t understand how they believe the Garden of Eden is in western Missouri. I’ve been to western Missouri and I still haven’t got the stink off me. But that’s not for me to judge.

I didn’t even hate his father like many people in this state did when he was Governor for a few years in the 1960s. I had no trouble with him. He kept his hands off the auto industry and that’s all that mattered to most people in this state back then.

I’ve lived 89 years. And, no, I’m not better off than I was four years ago. Four years ago I could still use my ass to take a shit.

Health is everything.

Let me repeat, health is EVERYTHING. Money means NOTHING without your health.

And this country is about to put a man in office that values money over everything else.

EVERYTHING ELSE.

Health be damned.

What does he care? He’s never even had a beer in his life.

He’ll live to 110 without even so much as a cold.

A President like that has no incentive to finding a cure for cancer and only has disdain for those of us weak enough to be sick.

I just saw him this morning passing out McDonald’s french fries and Big Macs to reporters on his plane.

Perhaps it’s some long-term plan to kill off the opposition.

I’ll bet anyone $10,000 that that wasn’t his lunch. (I better not lose this bet, I have $106 in my bank account.)

I’ll speak at you next week…

Lester Aldrich – Those Damn Kids