[The following is a transcribed phone conversation that Khan Manka, Jr. wanted posted on his Chairman’s Blog. Per his request, this is unedited – so I apologize for any unseemly language.]
Hello from Cannes!
Earlier today, I gave the keynote address at MIPCOM and now I am sitting here at the Hotel Carlton bar with my good friends Ben Silverman and Harvey Weinstein (though Harvey is not really sitting but sort of bent over on the floor). He is not passed out – so fuck you paparazzi – nothing to see here!
There are also myriad of hangers-on and wannabees – I’m talking to you Jeff Zucker!
It was just brought to my attention that the dumb asses at Fortune forced Jack Welch to quit his little blogger job over some Tweets or some shit? (I’ve been traveling and am a little vague on any details other than what it costs for a Cape Cod in Cannes – 20 fucking Euros!)
Well, whatever the truth (and I’m just dictating this over the phone to my assistant Vicky, the lawyers still have to do the official shit), Manka Bros. would like to offer, you, Jack Welch, a job.
I, frankly, don’t care what area you work in, I just know we would love to be in the Jack Welch business.
We don’t make jet engines or 3D printers (or whatever it was you used to do), but we do make the best damn creative content on the freakin’ planet.
Hang on, Jack. Fuck you, Silverman, you suck!
Sorry, Jack, Ben’s talking to the Mob Wives or something.
Hang on – yes, and put some goddamned alcohol in it this time!
Sorry, Jack.
Anyway, I’m thinking you could do a financial blog for us or even run the TV division – Jay McBee has really been sucking lately (off the record). My philosophy there has always been “Anyone But Silverman” in that job. We have a very prestigious Business Channel and we really need a cranky old nut case like you as one of the morning screamers – it would be a real boon to the ratings.
Just let me know as soon as you can – there are a lot of ex-moguls that would love this opportunity and I’m leaving them hanging until I hear back from you.
Ben’s trying to grab my phone so he can tell you off – did you both work at NBC?! – I’m hanging up!
Khan Manka, Jr. – Chairman & CEO – Manka Bros. Studios – The World’s Largest Media Company
Jack, own the tweet! and be lucky even a less than desirable company run by drunks like Manka has shown some interest in you! In your Wall Street Journal (faux news) op ed, you tried to change the point! Your tweet implied the Chicago guys somehow influenced the numbers, but in your op ed, you are claiming that you just challenged the numbers. The reason you got any attention, is that without facts (which you have admitted) and less than 5 mins after the numbers were released you claimed they were influenced by the President.
Welch can be critical of others, but can’t accept criticism himself. That says a lot about him.
Welch is beginning to sound like Donald Trump. If he has a credible concern, there are data sources in the private sector that can serve as a proxy for the Labor Department’s work. He can do much more than make assertions.
I think his remarks about Communist China are irresponsible. He is being responsibly challenged, not persecuted.
The BLS releases the raw data from the surveys. Why the media reports don’t point this out – well, probably because most reporters have no idea this happens.
Anybody can import the raw files in to a database and crunch ’em to their heart’s delight. Or,l if you’re Dick Cheney, whatever that mechanical thing is in your chest.
In other news, Jack Welch proves he knows nothing of International History.
“he’s been treated the past few days is akin to how someone who questions authority might be handled in “Soviet Russia [or] … Communist China.”
His example, he was called a fool! A fool!
I know the granddaughter of a man who was killed in Russia for not stepping in tow with the government. Maybe I should send Welch my copy of Wild Swans, so that he can learn what really happened to over 40 million Chinese citizens who questioned the government. They weren’t called fools. They were marched and starved to death.