It seems that Silicon Valley and Wall Street are going ape shit over the fact that Scott Thompson didn’t really go to college or didn’t get a degree in whatever he said he got one in – or whatever.
At Manka Bros., we could care less about that crap and I would like to offer Scott Thompson a job.
For the record, I, Khan Manka, Jr., didn’t go to college and yet, here I am, Chairman & CEO of the World’s Largest Media Company.
Granted, my father, the asshole Harry Manka, was head of the studio until he died and legally forced me into the job after his death when I would have much rather been concentrating on drugs, girls and my band (the under-appreciated ‘King Khan’).
That said, I’ve been doing it successfully for 36 years and I can barely fucking read.
So, Scott Thompson, it’s time for you to leave those tight-assed judgmental blue-bloods in Silicon Valley and come down to Hollywood where the literacy rate is much lower and we actually go out on dates.
Former heads of Yahoo! have been a great recruiting opportunity for us here at Manka Bros., having previously offered jobs to Carol Bartz and Jerry Yang (still waiting to hear).
The job offer to you is similar – you can pretty much pick any area you want to work (except in New Media or Tech – we have a much higher education standard in place for those jobs).
I would suggest either the Theatrical or Television groups – both are sucking up a storm lately and I’ve been looking to replace Robin Rafe and Jay McBee for the past year (off the record).
The only jobs that are not available are mine and Lloyd Grohl.
Everything else is in play.
Let me know as soon as you are fired – we’d like to get you going here in the next couple of weeks. There is a lot of shit to fix.
Khan Manka, Jr. – Chairman & CEO – Manka Bros. Studios – The World’s Largest Media Company
Stay away from that guy Khan. It was a dumb move by Yahoo in the first place.
Computer science degrees are worthless. I’ve hired many people in technical fields and I always have to wonder why someone had to go to college to learn the most basic things about computers and how they work. Wasted time and money (and what intelligent person would waste time and money?), and most that got the degrees were far less qualified than the average tech/programmer that just had a mind for the field. So, who…
Ha ha ha ha ha! You’re right about Hollywod, Khan. Be careful what you wish for, he may actually take the job.
what is even more damning for Thompson is that he didn’t immediately offer his own resignation. that tells me even more about his character. had he immediately offered to resign for the sake of the company, i might consider him to be worth defending…now its clear he’s just in it for his own payday
One of the best recruiting letters I have ever read. Well done sir. He would be an idiot (oh wait, he is!) not to take this job.
here is the big question can he run the company if so who cares. Who hasn’t padded their resume, I am sure we can find lies in all resumes. Degree’s are great but in the end they are only paper.
Excellent. Your organization certainly deserves him. Maybe I could get a job there too. I have a degree in nuclear physics. Wait, that was a mistake. It’s political science and communications double major. Anyone could get confused, so many words and letters.
Uh, yeah right. The degree or lack thereof is unimportant. His character, or lack thereof, is what is important. I agree with Mr. Clumpus – “”Your organization certainly deserves him”
@Sean It’s not about whether or not the guy has a degree. The issue is that he claimed to have a degree that had (or would have) an impact on his performance running the company and he does not. IMO, I don’t care if the guy has a degree or not. What I care about is that he lied about having a degree. It’s the lie that matters.
And in this case, he lied about having a degree that had a direct relation to the job.
Perhaps him having said he had a degree edged out others who were in the running for the job.
That was hilarious!
He’s not worthy of you Khan. But I’ll take the job. Look what I can do…this is my media company (it’s a living room but at least my degree is real –sorta —
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Venture Capitalism.
See Lady Gaga Does LBOs [short, comedic, but true]for more information
about Mitt Romney’s LBOs by Bait and Switch TV: Investigative Satire…
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This is akin to those high ranking military leaders who add ribbons and combat awards to their lapels. They still are competent at their jobs, but their honor is shot to hell.
Bullshit… he’s mine! I already offered him 20 mil per year with an inverse golden parachute: 100 million if he’s fired within the first year, going down ten million for each year thereafter. Hah! Top that!
Most of the time, I do not leave a reply or comment on a subject. But this one, I have too.
First, people need to stop with the biggest, tallest, ..etc.
Second, he should be fired because he lied. There is something called code of ethics, if you know what ethics mean.
Third, this is the first time I hear someone who uses this kind of language and calls himself a CEO or Chairman. Maybe inside a closed conference room not public. I though you were a low level employee.
Fourth, do you know what is off the record means???
Maybe I am used to a professional corporate work ethics and attitude but the way you talk tells me a lot of the work environment you manage and to be honest it is not of high standard.
As a long time and former yahoo, this whole thing is no BFD to me. I think it lowers his credibility, but if he can get shit done at Yahoo he can say he is the Dalai lama.
Man, I landed on this page and wasn’t expecting to read this great post! I need a job. Get me out of Utah into Hollywood. I won’t bring my wives with me.
This job as a Greeter At Wallmart is really getting to me!
Meet me up on FB as videobroker.
Funny post. Loved it.
Howdy! What a adorable looking website you own! Did you optimize this domain on your own?