Good evening from Davos!
I am here preparing for my keynote address tomorrow to the World Economic Forum (I also spoke here two years ago).
The subject of my speech will be the importance of media in the global economy and how Hollywood will defeat Silicon Valley after their recent challenge to bring us down.
Paul Graham of Y Combinator is an idiot who says Hollywood has peaked.  Manka Bros.’ blogger Jill Kennedy at OnMedea got it right when she said “Y Combinator Is a Stupid Idea.”
Listen, geeks, just because you talk like the characters on “Big Bang Theory” doesn’t mean you can write their dialogue. Â There are people who are professional comedy writers and there are people who are computer engineers. Â Rarely do the two sides of the brain come together allowing you to do both well.
But I’ll get into that tomorrow.
Today, I am here to say The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences can go fuck itself.
Who in the fuck do you have to give a bottle of Slivovitz to in order to get a goddamned Oscar nomination! Â (Or if you’re in the Hollywood Foreign Press – who can also fuck off – who do you have to give a carton of Camel Turkish Gold cigarettes.)
JESUS CHRIST!
Now, I’m a little drunk (at my normal barstool in Davos at the Hotel Eden), and tomorrow I may deny ever writing this, but today, I am fucking pissed off!
Adding insult to injury is the fact that Steven Spielberg got a nomination for “War Horse” – are you fucking kidding me?
Spielberg hasn’t made anything decent since that Joan Crawford “Night Gallery” episode!
And “Tree Of Life”?  What?!  I guarantee not one of you freaks in the Academy understood at all what was happening in that movie.  Sean Penn said he didn’t understand it – AND HE WAS IN IT!
Did the Academy not see “Freedom Swimmers” starring Michael Phelps?  Did they not see “Last Train To Crazy”?  Or “Bella Sangiovese”?  2011 was Manka Bros. at its finest!
Well, don’t worry about nominating us next year – I am done with you.  You’re a bunch of freakin’ dinosaurs who decide nominations over martinis and cheese toast at The Smoke House.
FYI, here is the Manka Bros. Films 2012 Slate and our Manka Highbrow 2012 Slate.  These are the films you won’t be allowed to nominate.
Your loss, losers.
Khan Manka, Jr. – Chairman & CEO – Manka Bros. Studios – The World’s Largest Media Company
A very unexciting year. Nothing nominated got across the board great reviews. It’s the year of mediocrity. Probably a good year to sit it out, Khan.
A really bad list this year. Nothing great, I agree. I suppose “The Descendants” – I guess if I had to choose one. I actually thought Crazy Stupid Love was my favorite movie of the year.
HAHA HA HA! I can’t wait for your speech tomorrow, Khannie baby! Awesome. Don’t worry about the Oscars. They only know bad movies to nominate. Yours are only good, right? They obviously don’t know good mvoies.
Get rid of the Best Song category. Why even have a category if the stupid music branch can only come up with 2 nominees?? There were plenty of worthy songs. I truly believe some grouchy old guys in this branch deliberately sabotage nominees by ranking them insanely low so they don’t get the points. And let’s not pretend it’s a coincidence that the big snubs in this category every year are the FEMALE song writers. Diane Warren last year, Mary J. Blige and Glenn Close this year. But they will nominate anything Randy Newman writes. Whole thing is a joke. Get rid of the category. It’s branch clearly doesn’t want it or respect other artists enough to respect their work this year.
I’m sure the Academy will be sad to see you go. Perhaps you can start a rival academy of motion picture arts and sciences. it’s seems like a monopoly to me.
Bring it, Mr. Manka. Us tech-type folk are taking over soon. You wish you didn’t make that speech tomorrow. As for the Oscars – no Drive, No Manka = Massive Fail.
I have no idea what I just read. I guess I’m sorry you feel that way?
I can only agree with one thing…Paul Graham is an idiot.
Very colorfully expressed, sir! My only criticism might be that your pungent post was perhaps a little too brief.
Have another round of whatever you have been drinking and post a longer one! Cheers!
Mr. Manka your films look terrible. I can see why you received no nominations. This the most disappointing year I can remember in awhile. I’m gunning for Michelle and the Descendants.
What I don’t understand is why you don’t expend your energy on creating a Wikipedia or IMDB page? Your amazing studio seems to only exist as a legend in your own mind. And you’re not even that funny. I’ve seen pornos that exhibited better talent than your trailers. My heart goes out to poor Gretchen Hess.
Good luck. You need it.
Ima, I’m actually very proud of my work for that horrible horrible studio. they may not pay in actual money, but the Costco breakfast bars were excellent. That’s really all I need.
You’ve seen pornos? That’s hot (provided you’re female).
(dictated but not read)
Manka Bros. maybe the biggest media center in the world .. but bigger isn’t always better. Guys are always obsessing over size. you can be smaller … It’s how you use what you got that matters.
I’m pissed for different reasons. The nominations for “Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close” and Glenn Close in “Albert Nobbs”. What? It is clear from previews that both of these movies were made just for the sake of getting these nominations. As much as I respect both Hanks and Close, I find these vanity projects annoying and symptomatic of the insularity of Hollywood.
I bow to you Mr. Manka!
F them is right. You are the future. They are the past. Move forward. Not backward. Jump high. Not low. Though your 2012 slate looks pretty shitty. Sorry.
you dont want to be associated with the Oscars. Billy crystal is hosting. He hasn’t been since… since… well… I’m thinking since Soap. 35 years ago. stay away from this group they’ll all be dead soon and you can take over.
If Manka Bros. is, as its web page states, “The World’s Largest Media Company”, then why have I, a movie writer, never heard of any of its claimed titles of the past decade or more?
And why does the “CEO” feel compelled to drop 5 f-bombs over two paragraphs, and try and impress people by picturing his home’s backyard on the website’s landing page.
This site reminds me of a former coworkers who calls himself a CEO because he “opened a business” by printing business cards and calling GoDaddy.com to open an $8 per month web page.
No wonder Mr. Manka hates the Academy. They laugh at him when they’re not ignoring his desperate attempts to get their attention.
Yes, because one thing we know about the movie industry – movie mogul executives never use the F word. Never.