Retirement money dried up?
Stop your bitching and do what me and Mrs. Aldrich do – EAT DOG FOOD. And not that premium Alpo crap – I’m talking Chappie Original Dog Food Meal!
Me and the Mrs. have been through tougher times than this. A 39 cent can of dog food is a goddamned feast compared to what we used to eat.
Every time I see Those Damn Kids out on my lawn eating ice cream like it’s VJ Day, I just want to take the flag off my porch, impale them and carry them back to the depression where after we ran out of dirt to eat, we were forced to eat the termites that were eating our house.